±«Óãtv

±«Óãtv BLOGS - Magazine Monitor
« Previous | Main | Next »

Punorama

13:39 UK time, Wednesday, 11 October 2006

The rules for this little game are simple. We choose a story and you lovingly create a punning headline to go with it. Send your headlines using the comment form below, and we'll choose the best on Wednesday.

iguana.jpg
This week's story is about the iguana of Bodmin. RSPCA officials have found the four foot lizard-type thing on Bodmin Moor, Cornwall, and think it must have been dumped there by a collector of exotic pets. They've called him Igor (photograph is posed by a model). The RPSCA's Felicity Cross is cross. "Whoever did this must know iguanas need tropical temperatures to stay healthy."

The results

A tropical zoo of cold-blooded punmeisters for us all to gawp at this week and then set free to freeze to death.
Keith gets off to a shaky start with "Iguana need this beast no longer, iguana need this beast no more". Mark Wrighton show's he's no passenger with Iggy drop. And old chum Candace is back in town with Binned Lizzy. (This commentary is golddust, you know.)

Newcomer Bob is in good company with punner extraordinaire Kieran Boyle, both of whom suggest Ig of the Dumped.

Sarah from Dartmouth is skipping along with We're off to free the lizard.

But Graeme wins the booby prize by unaccountably shoehorning a Smiths reference into his pun, with Devon knows I'm mis-reptile now. (Bodmin Moor's in Cornwall, Graeme. Cornwall.)

Losers to follow...

Comments

  1. At 12:52 PM on 10 Oct 2006, david regan wrote:

    Lizard Point-less

  2. At 12:53 PM on 10 Oct 2006, david regan wrote:

    Iggy Pop-ulates the Moor

  3. At 12:53 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Mark wrote:

    The Lizard found in Cornwall

  4. At 12:53 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Pip wrote:

    Igu-wanna me, comma get me

  5. At 12:57 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Charles, USA wrote:

    Iguana really really really wanna zigazig ha.

    I'll tell you what Iguana want - tropical weather!

  6. At 12:58 PM on 10 Oct 2006, david regan wrote:

    Iggy Pop's to Bodmin and Lizard Point Tour

  7. At 01:01 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Tony Doyle wrote:

    Iggy's strop?

  8. At 01:01 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Tony Doyle wrote:

    Lizard's point?

  9. At 01:02 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Tony Doyle wrote:

    Beast of Bodmin Moor: Let down!!!

  10. At 01:03 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Charles, USA wrote:

    Igor Blimey! Iguana get out of this place!

  11. At 01:05 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Chris Whittle wrote:

    I-Ganna be a wurzel!

  12. At 01:09 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Lizard on Lizard can't survive blizzard.

  13. At 01:11 PM on 10 Oct 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    The Lizard in Cornwall.

  14. At 01:11 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Dragon's fen

  15. At 01:15 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Take a gecko at that!

  16. At 01:21 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Iguana dissed as a newt.

  17. At 01:24 PM on 10 Oct 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    Iguana go home.

  18. At 01:26 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Matt Folwell wrote:

    It's not my newt, it's absolutely huge.

  19. At 01:26 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Alex Fortune wrote:

    IS this too obvious? - The Beast of Bodmin

  20. At 01:26 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Jon Speechley wrote:

    Punorama: "Iguana Break Free"

  21. At 01:28 PM on 10 Oct 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    Any Moor where that came from?

  22. At 01:29 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    All Iguana do is find a home for you

  23. At 01:29 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Iggy popped out

  24. At 01:31 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Scrounge lizard

  25. At 01:31 PM on 10 Oct 2006, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:

    Iguana see if there's any Moor.

  26. At 01:32 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Neil Reading wrote:

    The Beast of Bodmin - Igor

    Neil Reading, Stafford

  27. At 01:33 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Igortcha!

  28. At 01:33 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Mind the b-lizards

  29. At 01:34 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Iguana freeze to death

  30. At 01:34 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Cornwall's Lizard (not a pun, I know)

  31. At 01:35 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    The plight of the iguana

  32. At 01:35 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Hellloooo, is there a gecko in here?

  33. At 01:37 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Chattel of Hastings

  34. At 01:37 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Reptil-hensible

  35. At 01:37 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Site of the Iguana

  36. At 01:38 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Sight of the Iguana

  37. At 01:39 PM on 10 Oct 2006, One Eyed Owl wrote:

    Iguana be alone

  38. At 01:40 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Jon Bright wrote:

    Igor's extra-long rinse

  39. At 01:40 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Snow snake!

  40. At 01:41 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Jon Bright wrote:

    Igor gets the wrong stint

  41. At 01:43 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Jon Bright wrote:

    Igor's extra long sprint

  42. At 01:48 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Liz scared near Bodmin

  43. At 01:48 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Tropic off, Canceled

  44. At 02:01 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    RSPCA monitor lizard.

  45. At 02:03 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Igor? It's clearly Iguana Don.

  46. At 02:03 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    Dragon's Fen

  47. At 02:06 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Matthew wrote:

    Iguana Bodmin Moor no more

  48. At 02:14 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Nick Jones wrote:

    Bod-zilla.

  49. At 02:21 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    The lizard who was.

  50. At 02:22 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Calmer chameleon

  51. At 02:23 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Now a lounge lizard

  52. At 02:27 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Julian Nicholls wrote:

    The Beast of Bodmin

  53. At 02:34 PM on 10 Oct 2006, TIM McMahon wrote:


    1) "I-GOR WHERE THE MUSIC TAKES ME"
    2)Evolution yet to hit Bodmin Moor?
    3)Chameleon Cameron changes again?
    4)"i-gun-a get you ?

  54. At 02:34 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Ainy wrote:

    Iguana go somewhere nice for holiday, Mum!


  55. At 02:41 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Poldark and gruesome

  56. At 02:57 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Neil wrote:

    I-guana go home
    or - If it has lost a bit of weight would it be a Thin Lizard?

  57. At 03:00 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Andrea wrote:

    Moor Monster makes Cross cross!

  58. At 03:08 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Neil Reading wrote:

    Iguana Go On Holiday

    Neil Reading, Stafford

  59. At 03:11 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Jon Bright wrote:

    Pig? You aren't a...

  60. At 03:19 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Paper Monitor.

  61. At 03:23 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Caper monitor.

  62. At 03:23 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Inspiration came to my while staring at my monitor.

  63. At 03:25 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Iguana see a lizard, go to Bodmin

  64. At 03:27 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Disappointed owner thought it was an erotic pet.

  65. At 03:27 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Gordon Gecko, 'Freed is good'.

  66. At 03:28 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    RPSCA staffed by dyslexics

  67. At 03:30 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Johnny Lyttle wrote:

    He's not my-newt...

  68. At 03:39 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Nicole wrote:

    Felicity Cross is cross!!
    Is this a joke?...

    However here is my caption :

    'The night of the Iguana' at the Bodmin cinema tonight! staring Igorguana..

  69. At 03:42 PM on 10 Oct 2006, wrote:

    No moor monitors needed for Bodmin Moor.

  70. At 03:50 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Bish wrote:

    Jurassic Lark

  71. At 03:52 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Ainy wrote:

    Iguana holiday someplace Moor warm than here!

  72. At 04:03 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Colin Nelson wrote:

    Freezard

  73. At 04:06 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Colin Nelson wrote:

    No moor for Igor

  74. At 04:19 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Neil Reading wrote:

    Iguana Found on Lizard

    Neil Reading, Stafford

  75. At 04:23 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon wrote:

    "What am I guana do?" thought Igor.

  76. At 04:28 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon wrote:

    No felicitations as Cross gets cross.

  77. At 04:34 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Iggy's an Oggy

  78. At 04:37 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Iguana Moor baht 'at

  79. At 04:42 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Stick to the road, stray off the moors

  80. At 04:43 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Found of the Baskervilles

  81. At 04:44 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Caroline, Southend, UK wrote:

    Club Tropiguana

  82. At 04:50 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Derek Behan wrote:

    "Igor Blimey!"

  83. At 04:55 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Caroline, Southend, UK wrote:

    Iguana's deep sense of fore-bod-min...

  84. At 04:59 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Bryan Roberts wrote:

    Igor Blimey, it's cold in these 'ere moors.

    or...

    RSPCA's Cross at Moor animal cruelty.

  85. At 05:02 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Susan wrote:

    Igu an'a non-felicitous Felicity

  86. At 05:07 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    A lizard, point!

  87. At 05:07 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Alan wrote:

    We're off to see the lizard

  88. At 05:17 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Restrain the lizard

  89. At 05:47 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Gavin Harlow wrote:

    Igor said:"Its the last time i book a holiday on the internet!"

  90. At 05:57 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Scales hectics

  91. At 06:00 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Sick-guana

  92. At 06:43 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Ainy wrote:

    Pet you he was abandoned!

  93. At 06:55 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Valérie Falconer wrote:

    RPSCA? Iguanoramus!

  94. At 07:13 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Rusty of Montreal wrote:

    The Iguana of Bodmin? Didn't that old gem come in somewhere between the Knyghtes Tale and the Wyf of Bathe?

  95. At 07:29 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Stig wrote:

    Iguana get cold..

  96. At 07:29 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    All Iguana do is have some sun

  97. At 07:47 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Pauline Randall wrote:

    Iguana go home...

  98. At 08:12 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Stig wrote:

    Out-of-pen dragon

    or

    It's oot-the pen Dragon

  99. At 09:19 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Surprise appearance of Eddie Lizard.

  100. At 10:30 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    The Rover and The Lizard

  101. At 11:05 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Stig wrote:

    Cross Cross with near Lizard lizard

  102. At 11:14 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Stig wrote:

    Moor-bid curiosity..

  103. At 11:28 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Phil, Cardiff wrote:

    Beast Of Bodmin scaled back.

  104. At 11:35 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Phil, Cardiff wrote:

    "Igor a free ticket home!"

  105. At 11:53 PM on 10 Oct 2006, Stig wrote:

    Iguana find that iguana..

  106. At 12:15 AM on 11 Oct 2006, LH wrote:

    Cruel Humans Make Felicity Cross!

  107. At 02:44 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Colin Edwards wrote:

    Lizard Point

  108. At 07:03 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Cornish clotted scream.

  109. At 07:55 AM on 11 Oct 2006, O.G.Nash, Doha, Qatar wrote:

    The Beast of Bodmin.

    I guana freeze this winter.

    Cornish Lizard nowhere near the Peninsula.

    Couldn't survive pastie summer.

    Cream of the clots: Bodmin's tropical - NOT!


    BTW, what is the RPSCA? Received Pronunciation in the Society for Creative Anachronism, perhaps?

  110. At 07:56 AM on 11 Oct 2006, David Dee wrote:

    The Tail of the Forsaken Draken.
    (Followed by "Moor Tails of the Forsaken Draken").

  111. At 08:16 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Karl Walde wrote:

    Lizzard Point

  112. At 09:15 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Andy Hewitt wrote:

    Iguana go home!

  113. At 09:18 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Phil wrote:

    Bodmin spotted near the Lizard in Cornwall.

  114. At 09:31 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Jon B wrote:

    Ig-noramous or Ig-you-is or Ig-you-ain't my lizard?

  115. At 09:41 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Mark Wrighton wrote:

    Dunped lizard sticks in Felicity's gizzard

  116. At 09:44 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Mark Wrighton wrote:

    Iggy drop

  117. At 09:48 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Mark Wrighton wrote:

    I-guana go home!

  118. At 09:54 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Tim Evans, Bristol wrote:

    Where's that igunana been, my luvver?

  119. At 10:08 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Magazine monitor lizard

  120. At 10:15 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    Hunt for Beast of Bodmin scaled back

    Ig of the Dumped

    Spiny Moor One

  121. At 10:20 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Dave Crellin wrote:

    Iguana be alone

  122. At 10:33 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    This little Iggy wanted Moor...

  123. At 10:36 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Chris Jones wrote:

    Illizard affair

  124. At 10:44 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Grahame wrote:

    Bodmin?... I was looking for Lizard's Point.

  125. At 10:46 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Susan wrote:

    Bodmin Moor Iguana, migrated from Lizard Point?

  126. At 10:47 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Grahame wrote:

    What's the Lizard's Point of going to Cornwall?

  127. At 10:48 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Lost in chase

  128. At 11:27 AM on 11 Oct 2006, Pix6, Vienna wrote:

    Iguana-ramus makes Igor famous.

  129. At 11:28 AM on 11 Oct 2006, MCK wrote:

    Locals leave Lizard point to point at Lizard

  130. At 11:40 AM on 11 Oct 2006, James wrote:

    Bod-zilla

  131. At 11:42 AM on 11 Oct 2006, MissB wrote:

    I-guana go somewhere warmer!

  132. At 12:11 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Muhammad Isa wrote:

    Igor for Moor

  133. At 12:13 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Dave Smith wrote:

    "How do you solve a problem like More i...guanas than you know what to do with ?"

  134. At 12:24 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Andy Killoran wrote:

    Iguanna live in Cornwall

  135. At 12:43 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Jel wrote:

    A resident of Liz-keard?

  136. At 12:58 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Stephen C wrote:

    RSPCA Monitor-ing Cornwall

  137. At 01:05 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Stella, Salford wrote:

    Igors night on the repTILES is over.

  138. At 01:19 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Dan wrote:

    Today's weather - 'guana get cold in Bodmin.

  139. At 01:41 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Stuart wrote:

    lizard wheeze

  140. At 01:43 PM on 11 Oct 2006, David Richards wrote:

    Lizard decides that there is MOOR POINT going inland.

  141. At 01:43 PM on 11 Oct 2006, stuart wrote:

    the iGor Shuffle

  142. At 01:48 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Tony wrote:

    Godzshiver

  143. At 01:50 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Bryan wrote:

    Pet (Owner) Defective!

  144. At 01:55 PM on 11 Oct 2006, C wrote:

    Igor the Beast of Bodmin Moor

  145. At 02:05 PM on 11 Oct 2006, Lizzie wrote:

    Igor soon realised his travel rep has missold him the "perfect British summer holiday"

This post is closed to new comments.

Jump to more content from this blog

About this blog

The Magazine's recommended daily allowance of news, culture and your letters.

Send us a letter

Your name

Your e-mail address

Town/city and country

Your comment

The ±«Óãtv may edit your comments and not all e-mails will be published. Your comments may be published on any ±«Óãtv media worldwide.
(Terms & Conditions)

News Feeds

Magazine Monitor

10 Things...

Caption Comp

Crunch Creep

Daily Mini-Quiz

Housekeeping

How to Say

Paper Monitor

Quote of the Day

Random Stat

Web Monitor

Your Letters

±«Óãtv iD

±«Óãtv navigation

±«Óãtv © 2014 The ±«Óãtv is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.