±«Óãtv

Junk?

Tubular, man.

Noah says we're expecting long rain

And here we have the successor to the LHC

Wicker Man, the musical

You don't really understand the concept of a carnival float, do you?

Ferry tasty!

The artist regretted going into a Chinese restaurant and ordering rice and ships

Take that, Vikings

Just to disprove the old saying "You CAN have your kayak and eat it"

North Korea denies construction of biodegradable intercontinental rocket..

I think Thor Heyerdahl has definitely got this one wrong

Tack to change heading? No, we simply send the hamsters to either port or starboard.

And this is just the funnel!

It's for cruising to the Arctic - it's a ricebreaker

We know where your country is, so we are giving you this. Unfortunately it doesn't come with a paddle!

This is for the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Rice

'Is that to eat here or tack away?'

Can you build a cage at that end? I've just seen Life of Pi

Italians unveil new warship, defend right to cream filling.

If you think this is big, wait till you see the chopsticks.

Work continues on Prince Charles’s new organic, biodegradable, hearing aid..

So you can have your rice cake and eat it

But it's freezing in here! Look, there are ricicles forming over there.

Banksy for sail

I don't know much about art, but I know what I like eating

Papyrus sailor man reveals plans for Olive on the Ocean Wave

Of course it will be equipped with ricelafts.

The pirates will not be best pleased, I'm afraid.

New engine filter guaranteed to meet EU emission standards - now legal requirement on UK manufactured products!

John Osborne organises auditions for the role of Archie in his play "The Entertainer"

Do you want ketch-up with that?

Scientists investigating the sinking of the Titanic find the cause - a riceberg

"Gulliver will never fall for the finger puzzle trick...."

And it's designed to float on the curry

It's all part of a Chinese children's game - rice paper scissors

Arriving at St. Pancras is the latest Eu-rice-star

Is it launchtime yet?

Ai Weiwei hoped this would float better than his sunflower seeds

No there is a flood coming. Yes it needs to be made of rice paper. What do you expect it to made of, wood?

Will this Float your Boat?

Swap places will you? I've read this bit.

Jet engine for a paper aeroplane ?

So Mo, have you ever riced before...

Harland and Wolff rebrand the company as Boats R'Ice

Mr Whitney is seriously concerned by Pratt's idea of aero engine weight reduction.

Curry and rice-boat? No, I think I'd prefer ships, thank you.

A paper boat to hold your paper aeroplane, sir.

And this is the flagship of the White Starch Line

When he's not writing songs with Andrew Lloyd Webber, Sir Tim likes nothing better than messing about in boats

Boeing go back to the drawing board with the Dreamliner fusilage following safety fears, and a very long list of complaints regarding the in-flight meals.

Mars Mission's first attempt at a compromise shuttle - combined insulation and loo paper - soon highlighted a vital design flaw

That gave me quite a shock! It must be special fright rice.

Thor Heyerdal is on the line. He claism you pinched his idea!

Say...would you mind putting out that cigarette?

The Chinese offer to replace Trident submarines proves too hard to swallow

And the whole thing was ruined after some joker used a small blue piece of rice paper, and attached a note that said "Light blue touch paper and retire to a safe distance"...

"And this is a joint venture between Ireland and China" said spokesman, Paddy Fields.

That reminds me, have you seen my comb honey?

In a strange twist of fate the Chinese workers find all the instructions written in English.

'I'm sure I had the plans here a minute ago.'

...And after the Exhibition, we can all Wok and Roll.

The good news is we've found a bigger boat. The bad news is we've torn it.

"Hello, Rentokill? We may have a wasps’ nest at Olympia..."

If they'd filmed "Life of Pi" in this boat, it would have had to have been renamed "Life of Pudding"

Roe, roe, roe your boat...

Bruce Forsyth reacts in typical fashion to first viewing of his new wig - "Rice to see you, to see you, rice"

'I got the idea from a blind Venetian.'

"No, THAT's the Final Straw!"

I said to get the ship designs on paper, not of paper

The problem is, that once you've seen it you feel like you want to see it again an hour later.

A soy there, me hearties!

Artist finds Guinness Book of Records fame with longest game of Rice Paper Scissors

After several bodies are found hidden in a massive rice boat, police believe it could be the work of a cereal killer.

Johnson, if you change the 3D printer from millimeters to feet again, you're fired!

All I said to that Romanian was did he have any more papers and he did a runner!

That Chinese artist is never out of the papers...

It was all going so well until they tested the sprinkler system.

... and now for the macaroon - so 130,000 egg whites....

You do know that boats don't have wheels, don't you?

Bodies found in long thin tube. Recorder's Office notified.

"It all started as an idea that I scribbled down on the back of 150,000 envelopes..."

Who lives in a house like this? If we take a look through this giant keyhole we discover that Kerry Katona has a huge Dido collection.

Workers finally found and fixed the light at the end of the tunnel

As Pope Benedict 16 sails into the sunset, a use is found for all the communion wafers he blessed but not distributed

'I based the design on an ancient Roman galley; using 1500 sheets of paper. I call it a Tri-ream.'

Police bust large scale money laundering ring.

Is this your foolproof plan, George, to stop the UK economy from sinking ................................ a rice paper boat?
Brilliant.

Unfortunately, it later tested positive for tissue paper.

So who got the short end of the straw?

It's for Uncle Ben Ainslie.

Last time I used a rice paper boat I got macarooned!

Starving people? Well I suppose you could say I'm feeding their imagination.

Captain, there's a massive riceberg ahead!

Weigh the anchor!
Er, which page is it on?

Ben Ainslie warns construction team: "You don't want to make me hungry."

Sailing holidays with Thomas 'Easy' Cook

Owner: "No, I said a SHOWBOAT dip..."

Ach, she can't bake much more of this, Captain.

It's going to be a luxury paddle 'steam'er with very comfy pilaus.