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Sample answer – Attempt two

Golding uses a number of techniques to create interest for the reader. The exotic setting, which includes a ‘lagoon’ and ‘jungle’, is contrasted with the ordinariness of the boys, who are wearing school uniform. The ‘grey’ uniform is dull compared to the ‘vision of red and yellow’ of the bird. This contrast means the reader is left wondering why the boys are in this jungle.

Leaving questions unanswered is a way that Golding uses the structure of the text to create interest. The dialogue begins before we are aware of who is speaking. The voice does not have a body at first. Using the pronoun ‘it’ to refer to the voice, rather than the boy behind it, creates a sense of mystery. This mystery is heightened by the fact Golding does not tell us the names of the characters – one is simply ‘the fair boy’ and the other one is just a voice at this point.

Feedback - Improving

  • Using the name of the author to refer to him shows an awareness of the fact there is a writer behind the text.
  • There is an introductory sentence before the answer starts.
  • The points are backed up with short quotations which are embedded into the sentences, not left hanging.
  • The point about the contrast is developed, with detail about the colour supporting it. The answer then goes on to explain what the effect of this is on the reader – which brings in the second half of the question.