The author uses two characters to create interest. They are both boys. They are wearing the wrong clothes for the setting. This makes it seem interesting. He also uses lots of similes and metaphors. There is also talking in the extract which draws the reader in.
Feedback - Basic
It doesn’t have many points, and it doesn’t develop any of them.
There are no quotations to support the points, and the points themselves are not very detailed. We’re told the boys are wearing the wrong clothes for the setting but not what the clothes are or what the setting is.
Saying there are ‘lots of similes and metaphors’ doesn’t show that the writer actually knows what one is, or how it is used.