±«Óãtv

Perhaps a Mr. Irwin is not the safest person to be standing next to when there are dangerous animals about

Asp you were

And are you sure these are koalas, Bob?

Tales of the barby: It's all in how you prepare them really.

The snake certainly was frightening, and Bob began to realise why he was called Slash

Slash introduces Bob to his agent

Er, anyone seen that baby koala?

Slash suffered terribly from chronic herpetophobia, but luckily he didn't know what that meant

It was the most realistic draught excluder Slash had ever seen

I'd put that down if I were you, Slash - it's feeding-time and we've just run out of koalas

Sweet python of mine

Snakes N' Slash(ers)

Slash stars in a film of the Sherlock Holmes story, "The Speckled Hard Rock Band"

Slash clearly has an appetite for destruction

Welcome to the man-made jungle.

I may just add a boa to my top hat then.

Of course he likes you. Just don't exhale too deeply.

Of course the Pine Koala is Lone - he's the only one left

Suddenly, the toad's tongue flicked out and the python was no more

"Bob, he's getting heavy and I want to go to the gift shop and look at the bracelets."

Don’t worry, they never bite when in captivity – a mate in the UK told me that..

Slash was practising his scales

You're going to need a bigger refrain.

Just looking for a birthday present for Axl, mate

Take that, Ozzie.

Does my Bob look big in this?

I am ready for the strip poker now.

They're perfectly safe, Slash, as long as they don't bite or strangle you

And this is how we play rock, paper, scissors down under, mate.

Bob: "When you get to handle them you realise they're not 'slippery' or 'wet'. You see what I did there, Slash?"

Slash: "Wrong band, Bob - that wasn't us."

Without looking very closely, it was very difficult to distinguish between this photograph and that of Harry in the nuddy

At a zoo near the Fukujima nuclear power plant, staff proudly display their new earth worm and frog..

Just listen to my years of experience, Slash - it's the teeth they go for every time

Is that a python round your neck or are you just pleased to see me?

And this is my new girlfriend Anna, Anna Conder.

I don't care if I do look a bit like a pygmy, Slash, I aint going in a pie with that thing

Slash? He looks more like a black-eyed pee.

Guns N' Boas

Following an unprecedented number of viewer complaints, producers of Celebrity GMOOH promise a review of this year's Bushtucker Trials

"...and yet ironically Whitesnake was a real pain in the neck for you."

Excuse my ignorance Bob, but this isn't a Koala is it ???

Slash looks okay, Axel looks wrecked!

And just why is Slash smiling?
Cos he's got a really big snake down under

So I said to him: "Sure, it's not the first time I've handled something with this much girth."

Pythuns 'n' Roses

Slash: "Are they an endangered species,Bob?"

Bob: "Well,Slush,like ageing rock stars,we may have to step in for their own good".

Slash expertly handles an earthworm at the Viagra Testing Laboratory

Well, we got Slash in to deal with the snake problem. Then, we had to get Rentokil in when we got overrun by guitarists.

Never Mind the Cobras, Here's Guns 'n' Roses

Snake, Rattle 'n' Roll

What's Slash's favourite scale?

Boa major.

A long and varied hiss-tory indeed.

The former Guns N' Roses guitarist had made a fortune from royalties from dot.com internet addresses

It was only when Bob took off his dark glasses that he realised it wasn't a koala he was holding

"I can't see the Koalas, Bob"
"How do you think the snake got that size"

Preparations for the new video were coming together nicely.

Great picture. Now Bob, where did you put my top hat and Fender?

A snake pit with caimans. I've played worse places.

Slash was not impressed with Bob's reputation as a conversationist. "All he talks about is animals and looking after the environment," he said.

"Yeah, we turn those cute little bears into fur coats," said Koala de Vil

And here,at a recent gig(gling),Slash's new band...Suns N' Poses.

Accessories for men : but Bob's naturally camouflaged clutch-purse is no match for Slash's real-leather boa!

As final prep for the big summer show loomed rapidly closer, a hasty typo saw the safari park recruiting for a ‘musician slash adder’.

Are those guns 'n' roses in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

An excellent choice, sir, and would you like the matching croc as well?

Hehehehe - can't wait to see the look on Adam and Eve's faces

He's hanging his head because he failed to get a C in GCSE English.

Slash : This thing's just pee'd all down me leg.
Bob : Thats not pee, mate, he's just glad to see ya!

Do they bite?

No, generally "shaking your snake after a slash" means something altogether *quite* different...

I had that Madonna here last week, it t'were hard to see where the snake ended and her arms began.

Every week it's something new in customs...

"I'm a wrap musician!" chuckled Slash.

Try as he might, Slash couldn't make a decent anagram out of the word Axolotl

It appeared that Gene Simmons had left his tongue backstage after the last Kiss gig

We're putting together some ideas for Peter Andrés new coat of arms

A queue forms in a Las Vegas circus for guests at Prince Harry's next party.

Hiya, we're your new neighbours, just wanting to say "Hello."

I don't fancy mine much either

Snake: I recognise those boots ...that's my big brother!!

The brochure hadn't lied. All residents at the Sunnybrook Retirement ±«Óãtv are allowed to keep their own pets.

"Snakes On A Continent" doesn't have the same claustrophobic sense of menace in the film title, Mr Slash!

It's not what he's got out-front that worries me . . . it's what he's got out-back

"Gold medals - they're for soft Poms. This is what REAL men wear, in Oz."

It's just the sort of thing that makes Shielas sit up and take notice...

Slash supports the Australian Society for Guide Snakes for the Blind

Koalas shouldn't have to pine alone. Bring 'em to the fjords to meet the parrots.

Struth! Bobs taking a Slash in the snake house!

'Speak softly and carry a big snake'

Err, I don't suppose you'd like to see my one-eyed trouser snake would you?

It beats carrying a man bag, mate.

From this month's ±«Óãtv TV series "Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure"

So today at Animal School, kiddies, we're learning volley-ball and skipping

Slash stars in the remake of Alien

Slash was dismayed to learn that there was no antidote to Bob's style of conversation

The Medusa was clearly beginning to go bald ...

Snake Child O'Mine

"Just don't let him hug you back!"

Copies of the picture are available at lonepinekoala slash snakes dot com

Bob neglected to tell Slash that he was more interested in conserving snakes than guitarists