±«Óătv

Well, it worked for ET.

See? I TOLD you you were a bit short for a stormtrooper.

Please deposit six bars of gold pressed latinum for the first three minutes…

The Assads make their way to Harrod’s.

The Death Star is not accepting collect calls, I’m afraid.

George Lucas unveils his next project: Star Wars - The Phone Wars

I told you the ±«Óătv would do anything to revive a dying franchise...

All my spare change fell down the cruiser cushions.

Boss? 1138 here... remind me... which droids ARE we looking for?

Princess Leia wants a credit card number before she says anything more.

You think it smells bad in here? You should see what it's like inside a trash compactor.

Don’t move, I’ve finally got a signal.

He’s definitely not my father.

Storm Troopers call for a lift home after being kicked off the Millennium Falcon on a backwards planet.

Mum? Do I have a twin?

Hello, Mr Vader? It’s a Bank Holiday down here, there’s no pasty shops open..

Too late, THX-1138 realised the perils of asking Lord Vader to accept the charges

I think it means "Go home Storm Troopers!"

It was the only way Samantha and her equally stunning husband could avoid jealous glances from the public.

"Hello, National TV Awards? We'd like to vote for The Stig for Best Entertainment Presenter, Best Factual, Best Talk Show..."

"Threepio? Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level! Shut them ALL down, hurry!"
"Dave, I keep telling you, this is a phone box."

You say Tardis, I say Ta dissed, let’s call the whole thing off.

Major Tom to Ground Control. We're ready for the launch

Look, I've been on hold for 600 seconds...

But we'll keep looking - Doctor Who must be around here somewhere

Ok, Trooper Vince, I’m at the phone box. How will I recognise you?

I keep pressing the Return button, but there just aren't any Jedi there

What! All lines to the Death Star are down?

If Carlsberg did chat lines

I knew they'd modernise Dr. Who eventually...

Don't worry about this not looking like Tatooine - Industrial Light and Magic will matte that in later

118 118 set for new 'image rights' wrangle.

Mr. Lucas? I keep forgetting what we have to undo to get to use the toilet.

Please press 1 for English, 2 for Vulcan, 3 for Ferengi...

They're two phoney.

Yeah, I can't get at my mobile either

Is there any toilet paper in your cubicle?

"Hello, Royal Mail? A problem - we can't fit our stamps in the jerry can."

Darth? No, can I speak to Luke's Mum, please?

BT phone home

"When you promised me a box at Covent Garden..."

Of course I can hear you - I'm in the next phone booth

You think it's tight in here? You should try getting out of a trash compactor.

It's no use, break out the tin cans and string.

Hello. Is that Hoover Parts Service? I'd like to order a new codpiece.

Hello? Well, we’re here, but what did you mean by a “mobile” phone, these things are damn heavy you know..

The poor connection makes me want to scream ... but there's not a lot of point in space

Hello, Mum? I've got good news about that advertising job.

Hello, Mr. Lucas? Are we allowed to use a split infinitive, or is that copyright?

Attack of the Phones

There's no Jabba here, Darth, but there is a Pizza Hut

They're savage little blighters, I tell you...

Madame Tussauds staff deny "only vague resemblance" to William and Kate.

As you can see, they're known as clone booths

This time Harry let Wills choose the fancy dress costume.

I don’t think much of these new routemaster buses, do you?

We're both being held prisoner by the BT, but we're planning a break-out this evening

Hello operator. I would like to place a long-distance call.

Darling, you'll have to come and pick me up. Maureen has turned up in exactly the same outfit. The shame of it!

Is that Wikileaks? I think you should know about an exhaust port design fault before someone gets hurt.

Bach and I decided to play cricket, but then The Umpire Strikes Bach

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Bi bye.

Yeah, we've all been down the pub again, couldn't hit a Wookie with a phaser at 10 feet at the moment.

Yes, Leia is just leaving Harrods now...

Hello, you're advertising a Millennium Falcon in the small ads? Low mileage, one careful owner ...

My mate needs medical attention - he keeps hitting his head when he boards space ships

Vic and Bob's disguises were seen straight through after Vic located the female panellist in the phone box to his right.

In a parallel universe far, far away.

Sorry, you're not the droids I'm looking for...

Camouflage? Camouflage?? In what way is this camouflage?

15:26 the time will be on the third stroke

Your call is important to us. One of our aliens will be with you shortly.

Ring 999 and the Force will be with you.

"Is that the clinic? Yes...well we have a little problem you see....we put in long hours in this get-up and,well,there's a sort of 'chafing' where you really would rather not be chafed".

There isn't enough room to swing an ewok in here...

Help Lord Vader we are being attackesd by a giant Piano.

The Masque of the Red Darth

There's some heavy-breather on the line...says he knows you...

I can't get through to Darth Vader I keep getting heavy breathing

Yeah, running the Marathon was pretty difficult, but it was worse for the guy dressed as a polar bear

Well last time i went into a phone box i came out as Superman

We just bumped into the UK's Deputy Prime Minister - we both thought it was Jar Jar Binks

Yeah, Mr. Lucas, the accommodation you arranged for us is a little poky, but at least it's got a phone

The Emperor's going to kill you for reversing the charges...

It's just not true, Darth - they're the same size on the inside as the outside

Hello, David? Victoria here. I'm afraid the plastic surgeon may have gone a little too far this time.

I'm afraid I'm hors de combat, Darth. I sat too near the fire and my bottom melted.

Trials reveal the basic flaw in Edinburgh Zoo's plan to get the pandas together.

These phones are so outdated I was at least expecting an droid

Sorry, Darth, but our Delta-Class DX-9 got clamped

Sorry about the landline, Mr. Vader, but roaming facilities are poor on Earth

"Is this the way to the Ministry of Magic?"

Hello? 118? Those were not the droids we were looking for

Doctor.. who?

I thought I'd found C3PO, but it was some guy called David Dickinson

Yes, Darth, we've booked into two rooms in the HoTel ePhone

I have to lose weight. It's all right for you, Darth - black is so slimming.

We've just been to Harley Street - apparently, it's asthma you've got, Darth

The Empire Phones Back