±«Óãtv

Blimey, I don't remember eating that!

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In loo of a beach holiday

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Come to the seaside, he said; play in the sand, he said; build sand castles, he said; I do hate it since daddy became socially aware.

Somewhere way under the rainbow

Now, that's what I do call flatulence!

A loo with a view

"Don't flush yet, Dad, I'm not finished the sand castle yet or dug the moat."

In politics, there's always the turd way.

Sand dollars? If I'm digging in this muck there better be gold.

Political commentators applaud an imaginative postmodern interpretation of the state of the UK's finances.

Throne for loop

It would takes years of psychological intervention to erase these memories from young Goda's mind.

Great Goda! This is an awful place.

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Don't worry daddy, if you roll them in sand first they're quite easy to pick up.

Goda's expression hints at some pending mirth caused by clingfilm.....

James was pleased that the holiday cottage was indeed a stone's throw from the beach, but an extra three walls would have been nice

Little Goda had dressed up as Paddington Bear, but was destined to finish up as Pooh

Daddy, the sea weed!

Suddenly the thought of a happy meal wasn't quite as appealing to Goda.

Vindaloo causes extreme pebble dashing.

Mr Sandman bring me a dream

Advertisers launching their new brand mascots eventually had to admit that the Andrex seagulls weren't quite as quick off the mark as the puppies used to be.

'Why is this sand browner and smellier than he rest?'
OH GOOD GODA!

Well the Doctor said i needed more roughage...........

The new ad for Werther's Originals.

Ireland launches the cut-price version of Wii Beach Sports

SWANage

Put your ear to a smell and you CAN hear the ocean.

The historical fishing port of Looe.

The things I do for F-Art!

Sorry, Dad I forgot the loo paper.

Who got sand on the toilet paper?

"The Emperor tired of his designers for new cloths, now employs interior designers for new bathroom." Child laughs and see's it for the DUMP that it is.

These are some pretty smart pants, look what they can do.

BOGnor Regis

And we’ll have no more talk of this being a crap holiday.

Even a Dung beetle would struggle with that one........

OK better go, looks like the tide is flushing in.

Sewage and Swanage - closer than you think.

When Thomas Crapper goes on holiday.

After years of testing scientists finally a way to prove men can multitask.

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"My friends have gone to France...."

John wasn't joking when he told his mates; 'I'm just going to drop off the kids'

Archie vowed never to have beer a curry and salted nuts ever again..........

Archie had always fancied himself as a beach bum.........

Unfortunately, James wasn't able to get to a phone to warn President Obama not to touch the shamrocks

Flush-some and Jetsam

Look, we’re not getting a cat. I can’t stomach the idea of a litter box.

Yoda, hopes 'the force' is not strong in this one.

As it turned out, Bognor was not so happy with its new advertising campaign

Playing on the beach just wasn't safe the day after the lifequards' curry night

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The new bag it and take it home with you campaign got off to a good start.................

"Here'ssssssssssss JOHNNNNNNNNIE!"

Children should be seen and not turd.

Anything would seem normal in the land of Flann O'Brien

Dublin looks after its Guinness drinkers.

Goda objected to being used as the USWAN dam

Arts and Farces

Dad if you wait until the tide comes in, it turns into a bidet....

Tracey Emin unveils autobiographical exhibit, My Beach

Scatology for fun and profit.

Doublin' requires the number two

Strangers on the shore..

And I bet all the other kids are stuck inside watching South Park.

Jim, shocked, resolved to write to the paper about how little Lucy had found a condom on the beach.

Irish economy impacts the Floozie in the Jacuzzi.

Goda was a great fan of Robbie Williams, so everyone was waiting for it to hit the fan

James suddenly realised he wasn't asleep and having one of those weird toilet dreams

Just ask yourself what ±«Óãtvr Simpson would do.

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Given that I had two entries removed in 'Treo week' for references to dog mess I think the moderators could be quite busy this week….

Little Goda was happy, stuffing crabs up that grey pipe she'd found

Goda discovers that firing pebbles UP the pipe from a plastic spade is just as unpleasant for some

Going on holiday with the kids always was a strain

... and people would pay Geoff Hoon £3,000 per day for similar?

Dublin's Fair City, as announced by Jonathan Ross

The BMA's demands about the dangers of noxious odours from passive smoking and children is taken to it's logical conclusion.

I told him to go before we left home!

Faecal expression

Don't parents just know how to embarrass their kids.

Little Molly Malone decided she'd never be able to face cockles and mussels ever again

Going to Looe on holiday?

One minute i was aboard the QE2 next minute i'm on the beach, mind i did strike a match...

"My friends' parents take them to feed the ducks.... we have to feed the prawns..."

Are you sure? When I spoke to my agent, he told me in his rich Irish brogue that I was to get ''Time and a third.....''

This beach is poo!!

OK kid, that was a mud slide, this is a Tsunami....

I'm sure the advert said baby-SITTER.

"Do I look 'flushed with joy'?"

As James explained, he was only trying to keep the jellyfish away from her

SkegMESS!

What d'you mean, the holiday home's got no doors? How are we going to get in?

BlackSTOOL!

Kids Will Do Anything For A Creme Egg - No.27