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A small atomic bomb?

Sham pignon?

An M&S Vegetable Curry for one?

Why didn't Guinness accept my world record toadstool collection?

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

There wasn't mush room for anything else

What surprised scientists when they cracked open the first Mars rock?

But a hazelnut in every bite

And that looked as if it were left over from someone's operation

So there's not too much of interest in "Alice in Wonderland" for mycologists

So not much of a fun guy then?

There again, I thought mycology was only what Michael was studying

Why was the last Glastonbury Mushroom Festival such a failure?

How could you tell the cheese was off before sell-by dates were introduced?

It had one mushroom, innit?

What was the content of Victoria Beckam's food shopping basket?

What would you find in a toad's toolbox?

Apart from the bananas, a pineapple and some plums, what else was in Carmen Miranda’s hat?

Recession Watch, what indicates the downturn in the economy when it comes to pies?

What was in the packet of Bird's Death Angel Delight?

At what point did I feel it wise to visit he doctor abouth this growth?

At what point did I feel it wise to visit the doctor about this growth?

Correction

In an attempt not to get beaten again by Australia, what was England's argument in trying to convince the umpires that the Trent Bridge outfield was unplayable?

What was the MM's very first Caption Comp picture like?

Why was the mushroom stroganoff surprise from Roberto’s Magnificent Mushroom Restaurant so disappointing?

What was the bonus that Jeremy Clarkson found in that pile of dung?

Traction Man, on his meal of braised beef in mushroom sauce

You know that five-thousand-yen box of shiitake in the Tokyo department store ...?

What was wrong with the storage facilities that caused huge pile of mush to build up outside the premises?

Why fungus amongus?

Doctors show optimism on my Fungal Nail Infection.

At the Christmas lunch HR had the beef, PR had the turkey and QA went for the lamb. What did the geeks choose?

Answer to this A level maths question:
If Darryl's plate had 4 mushrooms on it and Alysha's plate had 3 mushrooms on it, how many more mushrooms did Darryl's plate have?

What did Mervyn King recently have to say about the state of the tresury's coffers?

How many mushrooms did a hospital patient's braised beef in a mushroom sauce contain?

Why was Jeremy Clarkson not too annoyed about the manure dumped on his lawn?

What was the problem with the steak and mushroom pie consumed by traction man in his hospital bed? (It was a nice mushroom apparently)

What was surprising about a Tesco Basics, Mushroom Extravaganza ?????

Why did the rampant toadstool have a great big grin on his face?

After the devastating attack of the Gnome Horde, what was left of the Pixie village?

The worst STI ever?

Peyote Light?

Waiter, this German mushroom soup is a bit watery?

In the vegetarian update of the legend what, after all the meat had flown, was found at the bottom of Pandora's box?

The police suspected a crimini had been committed?

My friends dirty armpit wasn't that bad

When they analysed the tin of cream of mushroom soup what did they find?

How did Egon's collection of spores, molds, and fungus start out?

So how allergic are you exactly?

Super Mario for the ZX Spectrum

may I ask what is wrong with your meat feast pizza sir?

Why was Prince Charles so critical of the planning officer in The City of Toadstool in Fungasland?

How did the Italian plumber get so big?

Many chidren left Mario world Angry and upset. Our reporter asked 9 year old Nigel why he was so disappointed?

What was the sole remaining asset left on Barclays books after their deal to offload billions of pounds of toxic loans to the Cayman Islands?

Why was my 10 things picture submission rejected this week?

What was found in the mushroom store?

(not mushroom inside?)

Ot was the hospital lunch!

Dave spent 1 trillion local dollars in the Zimbabwean supermarket, what was the contents of his trolley?

Did their vineyard farm have anywhere to tread grapes ?

What was so different about this year's winning victoria sponge cake?

This particular restaurant is very literal with it's menu descriptions. The mushroom pie for example, didnt say..................?
Maybe next time I will ask for the 'MUSROOMSSS' pie then.

This particular restaurant is very literal with it's menu descriptions. The mushroom pie for example, didnt say..................?
Maybe next time I will ask for the 'MUSHROOMSSS' pie then.

Sorry posted it again..typo!

Draft version of 'My Favourite Things'?

Manager of exclusive restaurant to diner......sir, can you just confirm for me the reason you sent the two-mushroom omelette back to the kitchen?

A 25 acre field 3 miles from Chernobyl has yielded a bumper crop this year. Early indications are that it will be is excess of 37,000 tons in weight. What is unusual about the quantity of this years harvest?

What was contained in the flu-jabs administered to the Super Mario Brothers(for 5 and a quarter gold coins)?

Why did Farmer Joe take action over the local authority in a planning dispute over expanding his land?

So why did you call this dish toadstool curry plus?

What is the major inaccuracy regarding the contents of the cupboard in the nursery rhyme "Old mother Hubbard".


Editors note:- The original nursery rhyme actually read "..... and when she got there the cupboard had only one mushroom, and so the poor doggy had none". However, over time the rhyme evolved, essentially because Victorian children were so malnourished that they didn’t know what a mushroom was and the orignal version fell in dis-use. Modern scholars have not seen fit to revert to the original, since it really adds nothing to the tale.

What explanation did London Zoos keeper give when the infamous Polly Parrot started singing The Beatles Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds and calling herself Jesus?

Derrin Brown's explanation of how he predicted the lottery numbers was so full of nutrients that what was found growing in it?

When Doctors opened up the head of a person who posted a correct answer to the WBQ, what did they find rattling around in place of a brain?

What did the analytical laboratory find to be the "magic" ingredient in a Weight Watchers hallucinogenic meal?

England’s cricketers have been performing so poorly in the one day international series that allegations of match fixing are beginning to raise their ugly heads. It seems that certain members of the England squad have received brown paper packages in the post. After being challenged on this matter, a spokesman said that rather than being anything sinister it was thought to be an elaborate form of Aussie sledging. The suggestion being that because they [the England batsmen] had given their wickets away so easily, that they were fun guys to be with, because when they opened each packet and looked inside they saw what?

The Not-So-Full Monty?

Was it growing on the fungus between his toes!!

What Jaimie Oliver dials M for?

How basic was Super Mario for the ZX Spectrum?

Green activists have accused northern supermarket giant Morrisons of not being serious about organic food, after they scoured a number of stores for naturally grown produce. After visiting 47 different stores, they found one which had an organic product. What item did that store stock?

How big was the first Smurf Settlement?

What Jamie Oliver dials M for?

(one 'i' too many)

What was the surprise in the Queen's Birthday Honours List?

just found a yoghurt in my office filing cabinet with a Best before date of January 2002 and guess what ...

Has Grannie's tea been spiked again?

What in this basket makes you think this pig can't find truffles?

Has Granny's tea been spiked again?

what was disappointing about Fungus-the-Bogeyman's sperm count?

why has my left shoe been uncomfortable all day?

What's the difference between "has Granny's tea been spiked again' and "has Granny's one mushroom tea been spiked again'

what's the difference between a bikini line and a bikini atoll line?

What's the main ingredient difference in German Baked Beans and British Baked Beans?

What was Keith Floyd's last complaint about the mushroom risoto?

"I had a look at that grotty little house just down the road"
"Really! Was there much room in there?"...

What was the Morel of the story?

Just how much space WAS there in that sled-dog's kennel?

What did my ice-cream have on top at The Fat Duck yesterday?