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I've only been at university a year and I've quickly learnt that not only do toilets not clean themselves but also clothes and dishes. Also, surprisingly, food doesn't cook itself. And £5 can feed 4 people with some change left over for a quick bevvy

I learned that wasps love Over-head Projectors. In a meeting earlier today with some top level Managers, there was a wasp in buzzing about the room. This was of course the center of attention, despite the ominous gentleman presenting up at the front. Every few minutes, the wasp would fly through the light from the OHP, turn towards it, rocket towards it then bounce off the unit and fall to the floor. This happened several times until someone covered the poor confused creature with a cup!

After years of home cooking, I learnt that crinkle-cut chips exist!

I learnt that a reputation can be gained far quicker and easier than it can be shaken off!

I learnt a thorough grounding in many fields of engineering, including electrical, mechanical, thermodynamics and civil...

Which is what I would have hoped, having paid for it.

I studied chemistry at university. I learned that dropping a small piece of sodium in a bowl of water makes a pleasing fizzing noise. I also learned that dropping a great big chunk of sodium, embedded in a bread roll, in a river, makes a bloody great bang, and more pleasingly creates some wonderfully startled expressions on the faces of those boating near the bread roll.

I learned to read the instructions on ready meals properly, as the smell of burning polystyrene when you missed the "all" in the "remove all packaging" step was a bit pungent.

1. You can cook fish fingers in a toaster.
2. Fish fingers, when they have fallen inside the toaster, make an unpleasant smell as they are burning.
3. Coco Pops do not turn lager chocolatey.
4. Creme eggs sink in Guinness.

I didn't go to university but I have learnt that life experience will get you most places, even if it does seem to take a little longer because you don't have a posh piece of paper