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Archives for January 14, 2007 - January 20, 2007

10 things we didn't know last week

17:10 UK time, Friday, 19 January 2007

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Snippets from the week's news, harvested, diced and sliced for your convenience.

1. Cloudy apple juice is healthier than clear, containing almost double the antioxidants which protect against heart disease and cancer.

2. Eating tomatoes and broccoli in the same meal is more effective at fighting prostate cancer than separately, according to a study at the University of Illinois.

3. The infant in iconic 1980s poster Man and Baby was named Stelios.

4. Gordon Brown prefers the X Factor to Big Brother.

5. Campaigners believe unpaid care of the elderly in the UK saves the British state ÂŁ57bn a year.

6. China opens a new coal-fired power station every five days.
More details

7. Just 200 people are responsible for most of the large-scale vandalism on the rail network.

8. School starts at age three in France - and many children start at two.

9. Thursday's storm - the most powerful to hit England since Burns Night 1990 - caused even more damage in northern Europe after developing what's known as a "sting jet", caused by cold air high above the clouds rushing down to Earth like an avalanche of high wind.

10. Citrus fruit growers in California use wind machines to protect their crops from frost damage.

(Sources: 2: The Times, 16 January; 3: Independent, 16 Jan; 4: Daily Mirror, 18 Jan; 6: ±«Óătv One news, 17 Jan; 7: The Times, 15 Jan; 8 and 9: G2, 18 Jan. 9: The Times, 19 Jan.)

Seen 10 things? . Thanks to Zack Ollerton for this week's picture of 10 books.

Your Letters

15:34 UK time, Friday, 19 January 2007

Can we have a new version of where Z-list celebrities are locked up with no cameras at all, and each week we get to vote for the z-lister we'd like to ban from our screens for the next few months. Now that would be public service non-broadcasting... but who to nominate first?
Jessica, London

Rebecca, Cambridge, on being abused for having red hair (Thursday’s Letters) - I couldn't agree more. There is somewhat less of a social conscience attached to making fun of people who are ginger - but nonetheless those who do it are making fun of somebody for being "different" to them, which is as morally wrong as racism. However, it usually lessens once you leave the classroom. Anyone who does it in the street in my opinion deserves to be put back there... including morons in vans who yell it as they drive past (you know who you are)!
Chris Stephen, Dingwall, Scotland

Rebecca, I feel your pain. Here in the US, redheads are much less common than in the UK. My elementary school principal teased me about being a redhead ("All redheads are troublemakers," etc.) for my first five years in schooling (age 5-10). He thought it would make me tougher in the long run. It may have, but I cannot imagine anyone tolerating that sort of abuse from an authority figure for a racial or religious difference.
Dragon, San Francisco, California, US

Should the head of the RMT Union really be using "We have reached the end of the road"?
Michael Hall, Croydon, UK

The photos of the look like nature's revenge on machines, what with all the shots of trees crushing cars!
Sarah, Edinburgh

One of the reader’s pictures of the storm damage shows a tree in the road with a Police - Slow sign in front. () Surely "Stop" might be better advice?
Rich T, Herts

Two observations from your 'storm in pictures' feature:
Walnut Tree Close () appears to be the most inappropriately named street, with not a single walnut tree in sight, nor does the industrial building give it a 'close' feel.

is now even more dangerous, what with the risk of being showered with glass. Print that on the packet.

And, in - no birthday question? Maybe no celebrity birthdays this week - it is January after all, nothing exciting happens in January.
Basil Long, Newark, Notts

I am horrified and disgusted that the Magazine has chosen to degrade itself by featuring pictures of a young tennis-playing lady’s .
Please print other, similar images in the near future, so that I can keep my level of disgust constant and topped up.
Disgusted of West London

Re the story about the : Thank you for the perfectly worded finale: "Mr Sal Lou said the family was now watching her closely after she took her clothes off..." I nearly choked on my lunch.
Chris Kenny, Southampton, England

Re: The identity of Magazine Monitor. (Fran, Thursday’s Letters) They’re DEFINITELY American. Some months ago, he/she "took the fifth" a reference to the 5th amendment to the US Constitution which relates to self-incrimination. I meant to write in at the time, but I must have been doing actual work that day.
Heather Simmons, Macomb, Michigan, USA

Fran - PM isn't American, just young and hip (unlike me apparently, as I've used the word "hip").
Robin, Edinburgh

To Steve Elsworth on songs stuck in your head. (Thursday’s Letters) I hate you now... stupid song.
Darren McCormac, London

Thank you Sarah, I now also have La Cucaracha stuck in my head, at least no one has said “Hey Micky”.
Lee McCutcheon, Newcastle-upon-Tyne

Humming the theme from "The Pink Panther" is guaranteed to remove even the most stubborn song from one's head.
Robert Stanton, Kenilworth

There must be flexicon entry for infecting someone else with an annoying tune?
Robin, Edinburgh

I could not get Tom Jones singing Delilah out of my head so I saw my doctor. He said it’s not unusual.
Suntrecker, Hatfield

Here's a good game to play in the office: Insert the title or a well known line from a song into a conversation (it has to be in context). The aim is to get that song stuck in the target’s head for the rest of the day.
Amelia, Aberdeen

Caption competition results

13:10 UK time, Friday, 19 January 2007

Comments

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It's time for the results of the caption competition.

This week, actress Sienna Miller shows her range by pulling a face while with friends backstage at the Golden Globes. But what's being said?

1. Helen
"Oh my god is that bag George at Asda?"

2. MJF
"Oh dear, she's got Hey Jude playing in her head again."

3. Nigel
"...and when I push here, she sticks her tongue out."

4. Simon Rooke
Sienna's audition for second series of Ugly Betty was going well.

5. Jip Foster
With the taste of polish in her mouth Sienna makes a mental note never to kiss a Golden Globe statue again.

6. Darren
"Exactly what did Jim Carrey look like in the flesh?"

Thanks to all who entered. Click on the comments button below to read the losing entries, not excluded on grounds of taste and decency. Can't see your entry? Did you use the right form, and not the letters box?

Paper Monitor

12:12 UK time, Friday, 19 January 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Paper Monitor has got that Friday feeling, and its thoughts wandered while reading about carbon footprints, racism rows and, er [sotto voce] Lindsay Lohan on the way into work today.

After yesterday's musing on how the Daily Telegraph is fond of the "filly on the front with accompanying article on page three" formula - a variation on the Sun's page three stunna - Paper Monitor found itself musing on how the papers typically fill page three.

HALF-HUMAN, HALF-ANIMAL: RETURN OF THE GIRL WHO WAS LOST IN THE WILD FOR 18 YEARS - the Times, always keen of a strange tale of human drama for this slot (a recent example was the pregnant teenage actress playing Mary in the Vatican-endorsed Nativity film).

YOU'VE CHECKED THE PRICE AND CALORIE COUNT, NOW HERE'S THE CARBON COST - hello, the Guardian.

SPOTTED IN OUR GARDEN - a Metro quirky picture-driven piece, about big cats turning up in urban gardens in India.

ONE MILLION (AND 66) YEARS BC... AND ISN'T RAQUEL STILL LOOKING SWELL - the Daily Mirror, always keen on cleavage shots but never quite bold enough to go down the Sun's route (the same story crops up in later pages of the Dailies Mail and Express, of whom the same could be said).

NICOLA T, 24, OF CROYDON and MYLEENE'S ÂŁ1M BOOBY PRIZE - can you guess? Yes, the Sun.

ULTIMATE IN THROWAWAY FASHION... THE WORLD'S FIRST DISSOLVABLE DRESS - IT'S SEXY AND IT HELPS THE ENVIRONMENT. JUST DON'T SPILL YOUR CUP OF TEA - ah, the Telegraph, how we love your headlines that are so comprehensive there's no need to read the story.

Yes, all present and correct. How reassuring.

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:16 UK time, Friday, 19 January 2007

Yesterday we asked what Gordon Brown had said when pressed for an opinion on the Jade-Shilpa rift in the Celebrity Big Brother house. We got you good - he told the Daily Mirror "I prefer X Factor to Big Brother", which only 10% of you got right. But 55% of you reckoned he'd said "I have not seen the programme in question" - which was Tony Blair - and a third of you thought he'd used what was actually David Cameron's line, "There's a great regulator called the off button". Today's mini-question is on the now.

Your Letters

15:01 UK time, Thursday, 18 January 2007

Re: The racism row. I remember in a previous series, one contestant was being abused for having red hair. I was taunted, bullied and battered at school for the same thing. But we redheads are not a race so we get no protection. So-called comedians are free to go on TV and make vile jokes about us. If they replaced the word "ginger" with "black" or "irish" their careers would be over. I get verbally abused by strangers on the street. People are stupid, and ignorant, but to say "racism = bad, other abuse = fine" is pathetic.
Rebecca, Cambridge

About the only good news to come out of the endless stories is that, despite all the publicity, nearly 93% of the British population still chose not to watch the last episode.
Valerie, Wigan, UK

Regarding the story. I’m male aged 53 and have shaved my underarms for as long as I can remember. It seems a very logical thing to do for reasons of hygiene as well as removing unsightly hair. I don’t shave my arms and legs because there doesn’t seem to be any point, but I do keep intimate areas shaved, again for reasons of hygiene. Does anyone know what percentage of men shave underarms?
Ian

Re: Handbags and their contents. The best thing to carry is a primed mouse trap to stop men trying to find out what you have in there.
Vanetia, Dartmouth, Devon

Never mind men not having a clue about the contents of a woman's handbag, Chadra, I'm a woman and I was pretty baffled at the contents of yours: a piece of hollow bone and a spare pair of kickers?? I won't ask...
Sue, London

Tim McMahon is right, all must defer to Mary Poppins . But not to be pernickety (oh, who am I kidding), technically what she carries is in fact a carpet bag. Whatever happened to them?
Suz, Southend

Tim, apologies for being a pedant, but Mary Poppins carried a carpet bag rather than a handbag. It was, however, smaller than most of today's women's handbags.
Basil Long, Newark, Notts

tO SAM. tHERE'S A GREAT WAY TO AVOID THIS - IT'S CALLED LOOKING AT THE SCREEN!
oOPS!!
Andrew, Eastbourne

Patsy, Sheffield: I currently have the worst song ever in my head it is 'Snow' with Informer - "a leaky boom boom now". Is there any way i can download it to my generic mP3 player and get it out of my head?
Steve Elsworth, nantwich

I too often get random songs stuck in my head, rather like a renegade radio station. Yesterday it was La Cucaracha. But at least i know where it came from - a generous work colleague wanting to share her pain.
Sarah, Edinburgh

Stoo - I think the phrase you are looking for is In Loco Parentis.
Rob McKay, Banbury, UK

Re: Stoo, the phrase you are looking for is "Reverting to Type"
Caroline, Southend, UK

To Stoo, I think the word you are looking for is postaegism.
Nick Rikker, Barcelona, Spain

How come every time I turn on the television there is a reality program featuring celebs. I now live in fear that one day I will switch on my PC, open the MM section and find Celebrity Caption Competion or PunoStararama
Tony Doyle, Holmes Chapel, Cheshire

Ahh, another clue... Paper Monitor says "go figure".. could s/he be, no surely not, American?
Fran, UK

Paper Monitor

11:10 UK time, Thursday, 18 January 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Sex, sex, sex and secrets - it's all laid bare. The Daily Telegraph continues in its proud tradition of plastering an attractive - yet just demure enough - gel across its front page, with page three devoted to a follow-up article.

Can it be... Keira Knightley? No, not this time. Princess Beatrice? Wrong! Kate? Neither Middleton nor Moss. Shilpa Shetty? Sort of (see below).

Give up? It's Margie Geddes, long thought to be just friends with John Betjeman - who famously noted that his one regret in life was "not enough sex" - who was in fact "just friends" with the former Poet Laureate. For two decades!

Perhaps as evidence that women's attention makes men , the pair began their affair in 1960, while "Betj" was married and conducting another liaison.

Further secrets are revealed a few pages on - quads crowded in a womb, cheek by jowl, filmed in special scans smiling and interacting with each other. How they find the room, Paper Monitor will never know.

And the Independent makes the so-very-wrong decision to reveal what Michael Winner wears on the beach during his annual escape to the Caribbean. Paper Monitor can bring itself to say little more than the dread phrase low-slung boxer shorts.

PS: Now that Celebrity Big Brother has become an international incident, the Telegraph wades in with a full page report on the alleged racism in the house. Unsurprisingly, in its profiles of the main players, the paper knows somewhat more about the fragrant and middle class Shilpa than of Jade, detailing her dress sense ("raunchy - by Indian standards"), her film career (not such great box office after all) and her parentage (both models... go figure).

And the TV editor details the alleged racist incidents for those Telegraph readers who may have been writing angry letters to Radio 4, or reading an instructive book, at the time. Perhaps rather too fearful for their sensibilities, he recounts that Jade's boyfriend Jack "referred to Shilpa as a '****', not a 'paki'." A what?

Daily Mini-Quiz

10:25 UK time, Thursday, 18 January 2007

Yesterday we asked when did Jeremy Paxman and Kirsty Wark last share a studio, having just jointly presented a Newsnight special on the Act of Union. Just 11% of you correctly said it was in 1989, on Breakfast Time. Another 38% said the 1997 election night special; and 51% said Children in Need's Rocky Horror performance in 2002. Sadly, no. Today's mini-question is on the now.

Punorama

16:56 UK time, Wednesday, 17 January 2007

Comments

bus.203.jpg
It's Punorama results time again.

You know the rules, we give you a story and you give us your best pun.

This week's tale it was about 23-year-old Josephine Kime, who was told to get off a crowded bus because she was too tall.

The 5ft 11in former model had to stand because there were no seats left and was promptly ordered off the bus by the driver because he said she was blocking his view. "I thought he was joking," she said.

How did you do? Tall order was a popular entry, from Gary Hammond, Will J and Tony to name but a few. Chris Stephen and Rob Pallister thought along the same lines with Tall aboard while Ryan got bonus points for Small aboard.

Going for a slightly different take was Nigel Macarthur with In-tall-erance.

Taking inspiration from Ms Kime’s family name were Rob Falconer and One Eyed Owl with Kime and Punishment, and Candace with High Kimes and Misdemeanors. Others favoured her first name with Danny Burke getting in tune with Jo lean, Jo lean.

Simon Rooke gets bonus points for using both in You must be Jo Kime.

Others took inspiration from the world of London bus travel. Kip went for Not fare and Derek Behan went a step further with Highly unfare. Thinking laterally were Simon Rooke who suggested Not for higher, and Helene Parry with Oust-her card.

The World of arts proved a help for some with the very apt Barringheight 5-11 from Michael, and Blinded by the height from Jill B. While Angela Barlow went for Driver makes mountain out of a model.

But top marks went to Declan in Dublin for Double Ducker, one of many on the theme.

Your Letters

14:59 UK time, Wednesday, 17 January 2007

Re: The debate on racism in Big Brother. Racism = ignorance. The question is not whether certain comments were racist or ignorant. If they are racist, they are ignorant by definition. It is possible to be ignorant without being racist, but it is not possible to be racist and not to be ignorant at the same time.
PS: People taking part in Big Brother programmes are ignorant by definition too, but not necessarily racist.
Peter, Amsterdam

I am half Irish-half English - during my time at an all-English comprehensive I was taunted, bullied and battered - and I mean physically. I think Shilpa Shetty knows what she is doing - she has brains and beauty and grace - and she only serves to highlight the difference between our own culture - a culture of moral vacuity - and her own. All praise to Big Brother for highlighting what this nation has become.
John Kelly

In Punorama, the story of the bus driver throwing a tall passenger off his bus for obscuring his view doesn't really hold water. I used to be a coach operator, and the interior mirror was only used for watching the passengers. So he was clearly more interested in what the passengers at the rear of the bus were doing.
Rob Falconer, Llandough, Wales

What song is stuck in your brain right this minute - and how exactly does the brain decide which tune to endlessly loop? I woke up with a CBeebies ditty going around and around, one I'd heard two or three days beforehand. If any song, why not something more recent?
Patsy, Sheffield

In response to your pedantic engineers (Wednesday's letters) on bolts and screws, to us ordinary folk it's simpler than that. If you can't tighten it with a screwdriver, it ain't a screw!
PJ, West Yorks

Now I know it was very lax of me, but I didn't make a note of that handy short cut to correct yourself when you've inadvertently typed something in upper case, when you meant to type it in lower case... any of my fellow Monitorites able to help?
Sam, Waddesdon, Nr Aylesbury, UK

Re: what women have in their handbag. I have a penknife, compass, and piece of hollow bone I found on the banks of the Thames in my handbag (along with the usuals like makeup, purse, spare knickers and so on). Men may think they know what women carry, but in reality, they haven't a clue.
Chandra, London

Mind-boggling confessions of handbag contents but the pioneer and prize-winning innovator of contents-in-a-handbag has to go to Mary Poppins - who included various items, not least a full-size hat stand.
Tim McMahon, Pennar, Wales

Is there a flexicon for typing a message ready to post on the internet and then deleting it when you realise you sound like your parents?
Stoo, Lancashire, UK

Paper Monitor

11:22 UK time, Wednesday, 17 January 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

When exactly does unpleasantness spill into racism? The papers big and small are humming with just this question, with not one but three cases in point to go at.

Far and away dominating the papers is the of Bollywood princess Shilpa by her fellow Celebrity Big Brother contestants, among them Jade "nation's sweetheart" Goody and ex-Miss GB Danielle Lloyd. The columnists have had a field day expounding on what it all means.

Germaine Greer (herself a reality TV veteran) piles in with a piece in G2 in which she argues that Shilpa - who is an actress by trade - knows just how to wind the others up to further her own ends.

"Bollywood is no picnic; anyone who makes 51 Bollywood movies in 13 years has to be tough... [Shilpa] is just the girl to raise the pit bull in a dizzy little drip like Danielle and keep her frothing at the mouth long enough for her nascent career as a sweet little Wag to disappear down the drain."

And on the offending word in Jade's boyfriend's tirade, Greer opines that "the word was bleeped out, leading many viewers to speculate that she had been racially abused. That is not surprising. This is a racist country."

The Sun's TV editor says that the coterie are "gobby and stupid" but not racist, and says that the greatest damage has been done not to Shilpa but to Jade's carefully constructed image - "the ignorance we once found so amusing is now seen for what it really is - just ignorance".

For the Times' Carol Midgely, it all comes down to an age-old struggle: "I doubt [Jade] and her gang are particularly racist. I think they are jealous - of Shetty's beauty, poise, talent and yes, her class."

And speaking of class, what of the Daily Telegraph, which typically ignores CBB antics? It merely reports the complaints, directing readers who wish to debate the story further to its website (a medium Telegraphites no doubt feel is better suited to such matters).

And in similar news, Janet Street-Porter has been arrested over claims that she ; and a judge who advised a man accused of a racist slur to call his victim a . But surely that's fat-ist. And insulting to those born outside of wedlock...

Daily Mini-Quiz

10:03 UK time, Wednesday, 17 January 2007

Yesterday we asked what WOULDN'T be found in a woman's handbag, according to quiz channel ITV Play. A penknife, which 16% of you got right. Another 12% said a dog, 31% said rawlplugs, 33% said a balaclava and 8% said dog biscuits (Ofcom chided the channel for including "unreasonable" answers). Today's mini-question, featuring the thinking man and woman's crumpets, Paxo and Wark, is on the now.

Your Letters

15:53 UK time, Tuesday, 16 January 2007

Re: - speaking as an obese person, it’s actually the swallowing I like, the chewing is just necessary so that I don't choke.
CB, England

Re: The , I'm sorry but I do have a pen knife in my handbag. I also have a screwdriver and some allen keys. You never know when you're going to be asked for them by the man mending your computer at work. They are always surprised when I can hand them over - I don't know why.
Anne, Peterborough

A penknife is the only object from that list that I do have in my handbag! Also, surely it would be unwise to keep a dog and its biscuits in your handbag at the same time?
Anna, Kent

So women won't be found with a penknife in their handbags? Maybe that's because they haven't seen the , containing the things a lady needs like nail files, scissors, perfume bottle and torch.
James, Newcastle, UK

Re: Eurovision. (Monday's letters) Do I smell a can of worms opening?
Anthony Finucane, Dublin, Ireland (SEVEN times winners of the ESC)

On Diana-watch in the Express, have I crossed into a parallel universe? Looking at the papers this morning I noticed that while the Daily Mail had a Diana story on the front page, in the Daily Express she was strangely absent.
Mark Ivey, Hartlepool, UK

Do you have an In Pictures montage of the faces of the French Politicians and historians, when they were told about ?
MCK, London

A note to Ed Loach (Monday's letters) - in engineering terms a 'bolt' has only a portion of its shank threaded, but a 'screw' is threaded all the way up to the head. Not only wood fasteners are called screws.
David Jenkins, Bentley, Suffolk

Ed Loach is thinking of wood screws. Here in engineering land we often match screws (set screws) with bolts. Bolts are like screws only the thread is limited in length, so, depending on the length of the bolt, won't go all the way to the head.
James Russell, Birmingham

Rod, (Monday’s letters). If you scroll over the picture of 10 things, it's title is something like "10 dishes". Although there are indeed more than 10 individual items, there are in fact only 10 dishes.
Dave Godfrey, Swindon, UK

Paper Monitor

11:29 UK time, Tuesday, 16 January 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Never to pass up the chance to feature a story about a blonde fiddling with her bra on live television, the Mail and the Telegraph give prominence to the unfortunate GMTV presenter Emma Baker.

The 26-year-old Anglia TV newsreader spent three minutes unaware she was being broadcast, in which she shared jokes with colleagues and, according to the Mail's eyewitness, "was preening herself and pouting like Madonna, sticking out her boobs".

But her Janet Jackson moment was still to come. When she adjusted her microphone, she "exposed a flash of tummy" said the Mail. Really? The paper went to Milton Keynes for further confirmation. Indeed, said a viewer, "I saw her tummy."

Emma's travails on the front page meant Telegraph readers had to wait until page six for another photogenic female - the 5ft 11in model thrown off a London bus.

Elsewhere, the story that France asked the UK to consider a union in the 1950s had the sub-editors busy flicking through their French-English dictionaries. Here's a selection of headlines...

Queen Elizabeth of France? Mais non Telegraph
Mon husband et moi... Mail
Allo, hello Mirror
Union Jacques Sun
S'il vous plait... can we be British, too? Times
An unlikely marriage: how France proposed to the UK Indy
Incroyable, but true... France's 1956 bid to unite with Britain Guardian
A France-UK political union? Dream on Financial Times (naturellement)

Daily Mini-Quiz

11:03 UK time, Tuesday, 16 January 2007

The Daily Mini-Quiz is reluctant to play up its influence on the geo-political stage… but after Monday's DMQ asked which country has Chancellor Gordon Brown not visited: India, China or South Africa (the correct answer, India, scored a paltry 24% of answers (China and South Africa both scored 38%)), where is he off to today? India.

How to say: Ardh Kumbh Mela

16:14 UK time, Monday, 15 January 2007

A weekly guide to the words and names in the news with Martha Figueroa-Clark of the ±«Óătv Pronunciation Unit.

This week, millions of Hindu pilgrims are expected to immerse themselves in the river Ganges (pronounced GAN-jeez), in the northern Indian city of Allahabad (established English pronunciation: al-uh-huh-BAAD) as part of the 45-day Hindu festival, Ardh Kumbh Mela (AARD KUUMB MAY-luh) which began on 3 January. Hindus believe that bathing at Sangam (SUNG-gum (-u as in run; -ng-g as in finger)), the confluence of three holy rivers, can wash away their sins and break the cycle of reincarnation. Some holy men, or sadhus (SAA-dooz), had threatened to boycott the bathing ritual, claiming the river was too polluted. In an attempt to reduce pollution, the authorities in the state of Uttar Pradesh (UUT-uhr pruh-DAYSH) last week flushed the Ganges with fresh water and have since ordered the closure of 80 factories which will remain shut until the festival ends in mid-February.

(For a guide to our phonetic pronunciations, click here.)

Your Letters

15:29 UK time, Monday, 15 January 2007

So we have excessive of coverage of and her sniffle. Not a word, however on loosing both Michael Brecker and Alice Coltrane this weekend. Is influence now measured not in artistic terms, but in Hello column inches.
Evan Beswick, Edinburgh

Re: Unfair . At the end of the day forcing the banks to cut their "unfair" charges isn't going to reduce bank profits or cut the cost to the customer. Since the law changed on reducing charges for overdrafts and late payment fees every single one of my credit cards has written to me and increased the interest rate. I'm unfortunate in not being able to clear my balance every month and have been fighting for four years to reduce my debt. Now that the banks have increased normal rates I'm being penalised once a month on each card instead of once in a blue moon when I got my timings wrong. What's fair about that?
Joanne, London

Re: . I hate to nitpick, but isn't too much anything dangerous? That's kind of implied by the fact that it's "too much".
Jake Perks, Shropshire, UK

Congratulations to the where "you can walk in with a screw and they will find you a nut to match it". Presumably they do so without pointing out you are holding a bolt, rather than a screw.
Ed Loach, Clacton, UK

You're so cruel. may have once made a faux pas, but you didn't have to rub it in by making it the Friday story, meaning that photo had to be up all weekend too... Talk about undue prominence.
Lester Mak, London, UK

Re: Eurovision. You walked into this one Sara.
Phil, Guisborough, UK (FIVE times ESC winners)

Sorry, but the photo with 10 things depicts 13 items!
Rod Mitchell, Owensboro, Kentucky, USA

Paper Monitor

11:09 UK time, Monday, 15 January 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It's scary how all-consuming reality TV can be. "Big Brother is getting bigger" runs the headline on the front of today's Metro, sending Paper Monitor into an Oliver Hardy-style double-take as it tried to reconcile the claim with news that the latest Celebrity Big Brother has suffered a ratings drop. As it turns out, the BB in question isn't, in fact, CBB, or indeed BB as in C4's BB, rather BB in terms of CCTV BB.

Over at the Times, chief political correspondent Anthony Browne clearly had a busy Sunday shift, landing today's front page splash, and two stories on the inside pages.

However, all come with the noticeable imprint of Tory Party HQ. "Pupils kept in crumbling classrooms by red tape," runs the front page splash, which turns out to be based on "figures, obtained by the Conservatives".

"Blair seeks a butler as taxpayers' bill for running No 10 trebles," according to "figures… compiled by Oliver Heald, the Shadow Constitutional Affairs Secretary".

"Chancellor needs to see more of the world, Tories claims." A-ha. At least this one comes with an attribution in the headline.

Not that the government can complain. At the height of New Labour's powers, the Times had a reputation for being very chummy with Mr Blair's spin doctors.

But on that last story, one might ask: what is a top politician to do these days? The article focuses on the claim that the chancellor has a huge gap in his worldly knowledge because he hasn't visited lots of countries… all of South America for example. Only last week, Mr Blair was accused of being selfish after defending his right to a long-haul holiday. Now, Mr Brown, is accused of being politically naïve for NOT going to enough far-flung destinations.

Daily Mini-Quiz

10:01 UK time, Monday, 15 January 2007

On Friday, we asked how long would David Beckham take in his new job to surpass the salary of his worst-paid LA Galaxy team mate. The answer, as half of you correctly identified, is two hours, according to the Washington Post. With his sponsorship and shares of profits, Beckham's annual income will be in the region of $50m, compared to the $11,700 of one of the club's defenders. Today's DMQ is on the front page.

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