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Welcome Back Everyone.

Chris Evans | 11:37 UK time, Monday, 17 January 2011

Three weeks off and it's like we've never been apart. That's how life is though eh? When you're back, you're back and it's like you never went away - frustrating, annoying and reassuring all at the same time. And all those sofa and kitchen adverts in between.

Anyhow, had something really funny to point out but it got lost somewhere in amongst all the flood water splashes on the A40. Blimey, more water out there than even a desert would know what to do with.

Have a nice day now you lot. I'm off to buy a pasty. Diet starts tomorrow ;-)

CLP

20 ELEVEN !!

X.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    welcome back CLP - good holiday?

  • Comment number 2.

    Hi CLP, great to have you back, but what do you mean "welcome back everyone", we have been here all the time!! LOL

    X

    Gail.

  • Comment number 3.

    Yeah, dont give too much away CLP. LOL!

    Happy New Year to you and the team.

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 4.

    ...anticipating that a more informative blog is to follow.

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 5.

    Glad your back.Chris and team

  • Comment number 6.

    Tada!

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 7.

    ha ha, more blog to read ;-)

  • Comment number 8.

    So glad you're back clp. We've missed you..

    Looking forward to many more 2011 blogs


    Mtd ffb xxx

  • Comment number 9.

    Welcome back CLP.
    Glad you had a good break.

    Now my ears might have been playing up but was there a mention of something special this morning?

    Best wishes to all. Work still getting in the way of blog activities I am afraid.

    Thunder

  • Comment number 10.

    Has the blog got its twitch back?

  • Comment number 11.

    I am glad for your return. I am car less at present so won't be able to listen to the Breakfast show till Wednesday when my car returns from it's holibobs lol. The local bus service is diabolical some days.

  • Comment number 12.

    Morning!

    CLP, Welcome back but please don't ever go away for so long again! We missed you! (and the Blog couldn't cope!)

    Isn't it a lovely day!! Well, it wasn't cos it's wet and miserable and Monday but

    Chris is back!

    Daffodils are poking their heads up in the garden

    Birds are singing in the mornings - although they are singing in the dark!

    And, prompted by my colleague needing to know, I've just booked annual leave for the year! Now I'm thinking of all the good things I'll be doing over the year!

    That's the first of my trying to find 3 good things every day!

    MTF, If I remember rightly and it was you who posted on FB, can you send me details of the thing in May on FB when you have a moment. Thanks If you haven't got details, can you send me who has. Ta.

    Hugs to all who need them. CG am thinking of you and your family

    Sezza xxx

  • Comment number 13.

    Welcome back Chris (and Johnny & Moira)!

    Nice to have everything back to normal - whatever normal may be.

    I went to see The King's Speech at the weekend. Absolutely brilliant. They didn't clap - but they did when my mum and dad went to see it. Definitely one worth watching! Jasper wants to do a sequel called "The Dog's Bark". I don't think it would have quite the same impact...

    Keep smiling,

    Roo xxx

  • Comment number 14.

    Hiya everyone

    seza - love your idea of three good things - great plan ;-) We keep getting asked about holiday but as I'm unemployed as of April and Mr bp is still doing his masters it's really hard to plan anything!

    Baggy

  • Comment number 15.

    Hurrah - welcome back to you and the rest of the team. You've been sorely missed and the blog is so excited it's got hiccups again!

    I didn't get the chance to post over Christmas and New Year so can I take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy - and healthy - 2011.

    CSN - so pleased about your results x

    Hugs to anyone who needs them {{{{{hugs}}}}}

    jillygoat xx

  • Comment number 16.

    Afternoon all

    The blog's got hiccups again!

    Welcome back CLP. It was great to hear you back on the airwaves this morning and thanks for the burst of Eleanor Rigby.

    I'm at home today. Woke up at 3am and just couldn't get back to sleep. Today is meant to be the most depressing day of the year (Blue Monday) and I am really feeling down in the dumps at the mo. I am trying to fight it but finding it really tough, to be honest.

    On the plus side, Marlon's got 40 friends now and says thanks to you all for being his chum! He's out of control though - this morning he was hiding behind the sofa. Again!

    Something to look forward to - Nic and I are off to see the amazing Ed Byrne in May. And The Cult next week.

    Maybe I need some daffodils?

    Muchos amore.

    Deevs
    x



  • Comment number 17.

    Deev - we have tickets for Ed Byrne as well, and Punt and Dennis soon

  • Comment number 18.

    SBP, Have just booked dates so far - new house = staying at Ourgate to enjoy it!

    I did want to get the dates in though as ending up getting it all wrong last year


    Although I have just been looking at taking the boys to a Youth Hostel for a short break while Mr Sezza works. Anyone been and got any ideas?

    Deevs, Definately daffy..............dils sound like a good idea! Anything to cheer the day up

    Was "I don't like Mondays" for you too?

    Sezza xx

  • Comment number 19.

    also - good morning too:
    Dozy, MTF, Captain stella, MTD, thunderclap, Hannah J, Roo and Jillygoat

    And anyone else that blogs x

  • Comment number 20.

    Hello Christophe Lambie Pie.

    Welcome back on what is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year. But it's not, the sun is shining here in Wirral and you CLP are back Hurrah!

    Don't talk to me about sofa ads CLP! I was awoken in the middle of the night with a certain sofa ad going around in my brain. It's on the TV every few minutes and it's driving me mad, now starting to make me angry. If I wanted to buy a new sofa I most certainly wouldn't get theirs.

    I'm now awaiting Mr Rent-A-Nerd to come and fix my computer as top up is going much too fast, almost gone now after doing it again this morning.

    Phone rang as I speak, he's on his way. Hurrah!

    MM xxx

  • Comment number 21.

    Morning Maddy

  • Comment number 22.

    Seza - NotSoBigUn dedicated I Don't Like Mondays to me on FB last night, and then Zen Bruce played it this morning. Spooky!

    Loose Women - they've just asked multi millionnaire Dragon James Caan if he's blue today!!! If I had tenzillionsquids in the bank, do you think I'd be blue. Yeeeeee Gawds!!!

    Deevs
    x


  • Comment number 23.

    deev - money does not make you happy or buy happiness, but it can take away some of the stresses of life

  • Comment number 24.

    and let me know if I get annoying, am doing a really dull thing today and keep distracting myself on this ere blog

  • Comment number 25.

    Baggy - the "Dragons" have probably got more in their current accounts than the likes of you and me are ever going to earn in an entire lifetime. I think that would make me kinda happy!

    x

  • Comment number 26.

    deevs - it would worry me that amount of money, who to give it too, is it invested wisely, how best could I help those less fortunate then me, would my family now hate me, etc etc etc

  • Comment number 27.

    'Money cant buy me Love'

    Deevs?

    By anyone well known?

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 28.

    Ps, Sezza, check your inbox.xx

  • Comment number 29.

    Baggy - we went and saw Punt & Dennis on Saturday night ..... they were very funny so I think you'll have good time. I have to say, I've got a wee crush on Hugh Dennis and he does wear a suit well !! Hope you enjoy.

    Deevs - sorry you're feeling so blue and hope you're feeling brighter soon. Given that Christmas and New Year are over plus for many it's at least five weeks since payday with two weeks to go until the next one, and the weather's foul, it's no wonder today is Blue Monday. If it's any comfort Deevs, you're definitely not alone in this!

    jillygoat x

  • Comment number 30.

    Thanks Jilly.

    x

  • Comment number 31.

    Chin up Deevs - the days are getting longer, nights are getting shorter and it'll soon be the weekend again :-)

    Sending big hugs

    CGx

  • Comment number 32.

    for the first time since I started here I'm all alone, so risking listening to radio iplayer on headphones

  • Comment number 33.

    afternoon all,
    Welcome back on the airwaves! has it really only been 3 weeks that you have been away? He i am honest it seems an awful lot longer than that to me. ;)

    I am on my phone so i will keep this short. what do you mean good? Lol

    Keep smiling

    Keith
    Xx x

  • Comment number 34.

    PS - deev **hugs**, I woke up feeling pants (not literally) but feel good as so far nothing bad has happened today

  • Comment number 35.

    Hello all,

    Sorry you're feeling blue Deevs - but thanks for solving the Marlon mystery!! Jasper's favourite toy is a little cheeky monkey at the moment - have had to hide it for a bit though, as he keeps taking it outside and forgetting to bring it back in again! I had a grim old night too - was supposed to be fasting from 10pm last night for blood tests this morning, but had a Weetabix and a few glasses of vodka post-10. Slightly concerned about what the doc'll say about the results now. Oops... ;-) Keep going hun - you'll get there. x

    Will keep the bananas on standby for Marlon!

    And - it might just be me, but doesn't the pic on Chris's front page make Gary Barlow look exactly like a skinny Gladiator-era Russell Crowe? "At my signal, unleash pop tunes!"

    Keep smiling,

    Roo xx

  • Comment number 36.

    Welcome back Chris ,really nice to see you .
    I'm glad that you said your diet starts tomorrow ,must be the same as me ,but you know the saying dont you !!!.Tomorrow never comes ,that means that I must try harder .

    Deev ,I don't work Mondays as you know ,so I don't get the Monday blues ,but sometimes get the Tuesday ones instead but not that often.
    Hope that Malon has calmed down somewhat now .

    Sezza ,clever girl getting your holibobs booked early .Activity holidays would suit the boys ,ie canoeing ,rock climing trecking.prob be on tinternet some where .Just a thought .

    C/Girl ,my thoughts are with you .

    Hello to erveryone that I've not mentioned .

    Bids.xxx.

  • Comment number 37.

    Baggy - what I'd give to wake up feeling pants! LOL

    MTF - whas occuring in May????

    I'm so out of the loop I only just saw the list for CiN 2011 yesterday - doh! and double doh!!

    Deevs, I saw James at lunchtime too - he's a lucky man - maybe you should get his book they were on about - how to get your dream job. As a recruiter I have to agree that preparation, presentation and a PMA are essential tools for getting a new job.....

    Right those reports unfortunately not typing themselves
    Back to the grindstone

    debs
    X

  • Comment number 38.

    Debs - you think you're out the loop - I haven't seen the list for CiN 2011 - I'm in ;-)

  • Comment number 39.

    oooo CLP how very rude, but baggy's pants got me all of a dither....


    Welcome back old bean, lovely to have you back on the radio box and the blog - huzzah for pasties hey - just dont ever ask me to make you one - your diet would start today! ha ha ha MTF has seen the evidence

    debs
    x

  • Comment number 40.

    Deevs,

    Try a little trick i use to keep a smile on my face. Write down one good thing that happens every day and when you feel down read the note to cheap yourself up! It may seem silly but quite often it is the easy things that work best. :)

    You have so much to be thankful for and life is to short to dwell on the bad days. X x x

    When i say keep smiling i mean it. . . . .

    Keith
    X x x

  • Comment number 41.

    oh dear, sorry Deevs, it is this phone. . . . Honest! Of course that should be cheer yourself up not cheap! I think i will write that down as it made me laugh. X x x

  • Comment number 42.

    Hi Chris: welcome back to you too! Wonderful to have you back this morning - getting to work today was a breeze!

    Hi to everyone else, haven't really managed to read everything since last Friday, but just to say:

    CSN: I am so happy to see your news. What a relief for you and your lovely family. I hope you will take things easy this week - that really was a bit of an ordeal.

    CG: thinking of you - what a difficult time for you.

    Well, I normally hate Mondays too, but not today. 35 years ago, MrS and I were married! We got up this morning, getting ready for work, listening to Chris. I said "oooh, this is our anniversary!" and MrS said "35 years ... incredible, eh? Mind you, 25 of them were a bit dodgy, but not to worry"! I love that guy, I really do!

    Hugs to everyone who needs them, and I include myself in that, I'm afraid!

    C xx

  • Comment number 43.

    Happy Anniversary Chrissie, and well done to you both on notching up 35 years!

    Keith - I quite like the sound of the note, even if it is to cheap me up - lol!! I put a note in with Nic's lunch every day, and like to think it makes him smile halfway through his day.

    Bids, Marlon is calm now. He's having an afternoon nap and is quite overcome by all his new friends on FB. (Baggy - he's still waiting to 'meet' you!)

    Roo - hope the blood tests are ok. But Weetabix ..... eww!

    Baggy, I hopr they were MrBaggy's pants you were feeling this morning ...!

    I've confused myself something rotten now - playing Scrabs on FB whilst watching Countdown. No mean feat, let me tell you!

    Deevs
    x



  • Comment number 44.

    weetabix (esp hot) is food of the gods - yummy ;-0

    Deev - I can't get on fb at work apart from on my home and am trying to give it up in the evenings as I am getting bad headaches, but I'm guessing its some sort of animal and I'll have a look sometime. I can get on using my phone at work but thatas not much good for most things.

  • Comment number 45.

    Noooooooooooooooooo.

    Weetabix mashed with milk, whether hot or cold, is cat yak food. Likewise porridge, cauliflower cheese, macaroni cheese and rice pudding.

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

    x

  • Comment number 46.

    Deev - that would be a grea meal for me ;-)

  • Comment number 47.

    OK everyone, I think it's time to tell you an amusing story, I don't want us all to be depressed!!. Just be prepaared if you are of a nervous disposition or a bit squeamish ........
    Whilst I had a lousy Christmas, there were lighter moments and this one just has to be told - on Christmas morning Treacle (oldest cat) bought in a live mouse and let it go so she could play with it, and it ran up the Christmas tree. Mr CG tried to get it but there were loads of presents surrounding the tree and it was such a little thing sitting on a bauble, so we decided not to tell my Dad as he's frightened of mice (yes, really!!)but we told our daughter and her fiance. During the day we kept referring to it as Mildred, we became quite attached to it! Lilly (kitten) knew the mouse was there and spent the day sitting on the arm of the sofa to try to get it. In the evening we were sitting in the room recovering from the meal when Treacle suddenly made a dash for the tree. The mouse jumped out of the tree and landed in my Dad's lap! He screamed, the mouse rang towards the closed door followed by Treacle and also Lilly. With no exit, the mouse then ran back up the tree. Mr CG eventually shook the tree to try and get the mouse, and it fell on the ground. Mr CG didn’t see it and stepped backwards as we were all shouting at him ........then he trod on the b thing and killed it! Poor little mouse had lived in the Christmas tree for 11 hours and then gets killed by Mr CG not the cat!!
    not sure there's a moral to the tale, but thought it might amuse .....
    CG x



  • Comment number 48.

    Baggy, I'm with you! Hot weetabix for breakfast is just scrummy! Esp with some dried fruit on the top!

    I keep being told by the papers and radio and such that today is Blue Monday and i should be miserable but i resude to go along with that!

    If we all smile we'll beat the lot of them

    And honestly, if someone say Blue Monday to me this is what I think of!



    Laters

    x x x x

  • Comment number 49.

    Afternoon all

    Cold and wet here.

    Welcome back Chris, hope you had a lovely holiday.

    Thank you, Jilly and Chrisse for your kind wishes. I will be having a restful week. xx

    CG, thinking of you. xx

    Chrissie, Happy 35th Wedding Anniversary to you both, have a lovely evening. xx

    Sending hugs and lots of love to you all.

    csn. xx

  • Comment number 50.

    Hi Chris

    Delighted to have you back this morning, it was so much easier to rise from the pit.

    Santa very kindly gave me MOAF, blubbed when I got to where you and Billie parted, but what a brilliant read, loved every minute.

    Chrissie, Happy Anniversary! No doubt a little celebratory drinky-poos will pass your lips later! However, my thoughts are still with you, as I know you have other things on your mind xx

    CG, thoughts go out to you also xx

    Hello to everyone else.

    Pen xx








  • Comment number 51.

    Penny - amazon voucher presents boutgh me a piece of cake, it's in the huge pile of christmas books i treat myself to once a year but really looking forward to it

  • Comment number 52.

    I'm reading Dawn French's "A Tiny Bit Marvellous" and it's fab. A really easy read but very very funny. Highly recommend!

    x

  • Comment number 53.

    Baggy, you will love it!. It's the only cake I had for Christmas that didn't pile on the calories :-)

    xx

  • Comment number 54.

    Cheryl, CSN and Pen: thank you for your anniversary wishes. Sometimes anniversaries and birthdays come and go, and we don't really appreciate how important they are. Today, I have relived every minute of my wedding day. I certainly remember it was dark when we came out of the Church!

    And, Pen, thank you for your other thoughtful comment.

    So looking forward to getting home ... as predicted by the lovely Pen, a drinky-poo does await, and then dinner with our lovely daughter and her gorgeous boyfriend - can't wait!

    Millions to do before 5.30, so will get on with it and will report back in the morning. Have a nice evening, everyone.

    C xx

  • Comment number 55.

    Deevs, i want the Dawn French book too. Might wait for the paperback

    I got Maureen lipman's book, started it on Boxing day, put it out of the way when we had people round and haven't picked it up again yet!

    Penny, I didn't have any Christmas Cake this year! My mummy didn't make one :-( I'm still feeling quite deprived (although i shouldn't be eating cake at all!)

    I may have to make a Hairy Bikers Sticky Date Cake to console myself!

    Sezza xxx

    PS Had my fruitcake delivered when it came out and read it way too quickly!

  • Comment number 56.

    Deevs, I recently saw Dawn promoting her latest read on the telebox. Might have to now go on the river site!

    Pen xx

  • Comment number 57.

    Pen - it was her interview on Simon Mayo's show that made me want to read it - she's so funny! I was lucky in as much as Santa Claus Nic got the book for me for Christmas.

    x


  • Comment number 58.

    Sezza, that's the trouble with a great read, I can't put it down and then when it's finished, I'm so disappointed I didn't make it last longer! What's that all about?

    Pen xx

  • Comment number 59.

    Evening all

    Welcome back CLP, you've definately been missed!! Hope you and the team had a good break though, even though you were working for some of it!

    Happy Anniversary Mr & Mrs Chrissie, even though I've missed you now!

    CG, thoughts are with you, but loved your mouse story! What a patient cat, Finlay would have destroyed the tree in his efforts to get to the mouse!

    Still haven't read CLP's first book, got them stacked up now, along with DF's Dear Fatty and a few others....

    Well I've been in a meeting for over 5 hours today, and am shattered! Not helped by having to gove some a life home who chatted continually all the way, and fiddled with the buttons and dials in my car! I'm not used to having passengers!

    Anyhow, better feed Finlay and give Mum a quick call

    JG x

  • Comment number 60.

    Wonderful to have you back Mr. Evans,

    It does seem a damn sight longer than three weeks since last we met.
    I have nothing against Richard Madeley and listened quite often, but I have to admit that he works better on a Sunday afternoon than a Monday morning.
    Hope you had a fantastic break with the family, but welcome back!

    Thunder #9 I didn't get to hear much of this morning's show, what did I miss?

    CG - Hilarious, well, for you anyway - not so sure the poor mouse would concurr ;0)

    Hi to everyone else x

    Rips

    x

  • Comment number 61.

    Rips,
    It was something I thought I heard but given that there is no mention by anyone on here I guess I was hearing things or taking something out of context. It would have been repeated so I will retreat back into the naughty corner and keep quiet.

    Hope you and family are better.

    Thunder

  • Comment number 62.

    Evening chaps, and welcome back to the airwaves CLP and the rest of the Breakfast gang! I was gald to hear normal service this morning, I couldn't take to RM really.

    So today is the most depressing day of the year? Mine has been pretty good: the sun has shone, and I have various things to look forward to later in the year: a wedding on the 29th April (not THAT wedding I hasten to add!), and hopefully a holiday to somewhere new and exciting for my birthday. I had an email from my best friend in Sweden and so am looking forward to organising a visit to see them all in March.

    Just to add to the Weetabix debate it is my breakfast of choice too, well the mini ones with fruit and nuts in them. I pour the milk over them and leave them for a few mins until they're nice and gooey. Yum!

    Hope everyone has ahd a good day, hugs to those who are feeling down.

    Rx

  • Comment number 63.

    Urrrgh...Milk = nasty!! Most dairy stuff disagrees with me if I have very much of it!

    That's why my nails look awful and my skin is like paper!!

    I need some supplements methinks!!

    JG x

  • Comment number 64.

    Evening all,

    CLP good to have you back, it's been too long ,please don't book another holiday too soon .

    Chrissie, many congratulations on your anniversary, I have been thinking about you too . x

    CG, the mouse story was a good 'un, although I think I would have spent the day locked in another room . Hope you are ok too .x

    Well, Mr MC has treated himself to a surround sound system this weekend. He has wanted one for years and I have always managed to disuade him.
    However, we have spent most of the weekend wiring it, unwiring it, reading manuals and shouting at each other . Eventually we got the wretched thing into action, and he is chuffed to bits with it . So tonight , he put a film on and was messing with the sound system and blew the living room lights.
    Boys and their toys ............

    Right, off to find my earplugs.

    JG, I dont do passengers either .......

    Oh, and it's crunchy nuts all the way for me ;-)

    MC xxx

  • Comment number 65.

    Greetings Ter The CLP Blog In 2011, CLP & Each Blog Operatative...

    Bingo Star 'ere...

    CLP – Welcome Back.... Back At Yer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!@!!@!!@!!!!

    Am so glad ter see yer back blogging & 'ear yer back on The R2 Gig & INDEED back in one piece!!!!!!!
    After the trailer for the Famous & Fearless Gig in which yer atemped ter do an Evel Knivel jump... The one where yer crashed.... all a can say is am glad yerv made a full recovery & stick ter crashing tunes CLP!!!!!!
    It's less painful unless yer an abject fishyernardo of music!!!!!!!!!!!

    A came ter the F&F on the Wednesday, the day yer came in in the yellow Lambo!!!!!!!
    A brought me wonderful new girlfriend along & we both enjoyed the show very a lot ;)))))
    A really enjoyable evening for all ages& great ter watch it on tv all week too!!!!!
    AND that fact it was free ter get in made it awesome... a great idea in the middle of a recession!!!!!!
    A was gonna pop down, see if yer were staying at The 'ilton in Liverpool... Strange ter think yer were so close all week ter where a live!!!!!!
    Thought yer might ave needed some 'elp... A would ave been more than willing ter do abit behind the scenes... But unfortunately a was so busy with me new job all week!!!!!!

    When a came ter the gig... It was the first time ave been in the new Echo Arena & whatta venue!!!!!!

    It must 'ave taken months of planning ter organise the F&F show... really amazing ter pull it all off!!!!!!

    A 'ope it returns next year.... i'd certainly take part if a was a celeb!!!!!!!

    I can understand it's not easy introducing a new show to the public... yer never know 'ow it will be received by the public.... And yer will always get yer knockers!!!!!!!!!!
    And am not just talking about the female contestants!!!!!!

    The only change a can think of ter improve it would be ter start of with 20 celebs, 10 men & 10 female & whittle it down ter the last 3 rather than just 'ave 4!!!!!!!!!!
    AND.... maybe it would better pre-recorded & shown abit like gladiators.... aka a full series over say 6 or 8 Saturday nights!!!!!!!!!
    Understandable it's gotta be made in one week as it's the best way ter take over the Echo Arena for a week!!!!!!
    The only way ter make the show!!!!
    Be too expensive & logistically impossible ter keep setting up the gig once a week – know what am sayin'!!!!!
    It's too too large... too large CLP lad!!!!!!!

    All in all a great show!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh well a better go now... Very glad yer back CLP... We all were getting' worried yer weren't gonna blog anymore!!!!!!
    But it's understandable when yer a man in demand... what with the F&F Gig.... And then some VERY important family VERY much needed after all that work!!!!!!!!


    Bingo Star, Striving For A Substantially More Sustainable Future ;))


    PS A Will tell all tomorrow about 'ow a spent me birthdee.... Bingo Star style!!!!

  • Comment number 66.

    Re passengers: I don't mind passengers too much, as long as they don't chatter on when I am trying to concentrate on driving!

    Very remiss of me, Bingo: belated Happy Birthday greetings to you!

    Rx

  • Comment number 67.

    Weetabix....

    Jam and butter, just like a piece of toast!

    Another none milk drinker.

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 68.

    MTF Boy2 like his weetabix like that but no butter!

    Maybe we should do the weetabix week!

    xxx

  • Comment number 69.

    Happy birthday Bingo - hope it was a good 'un!

    ESPECIAL love to CG. Loved the mouse tale and glad you are still able to smile. Thinking of you lots.

    Wow - I never thought my Weetabix comment would spark a debate! I stand by my love of Weetabix ("Okay"! - remember the cartoon Weetabix folk?!) as well as my passion for Shreddies (other breakfast sustenance is available). For those who may be interested, Jasper prefers Shreddies - but will never lift his leg on a Weetabix or other (branded or otherwise) cereal. I EVEN have a bona-fide Weetabix anecdote... and, for that matter, - MC - an operator manual anecdote... but for another time, as Jasper has (oh dear) a new joke. He insists I share it with you.

    This genuinely isn't my fault.

    Jasper's latest: --


    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck has passed away."

    The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

    "But are you certain?!" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma!"

    The vet rolled his eyes, opened the door and whistled. A black Labrador Retriever trotted in. The dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then 'wuffed' and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and it left the room.

    "Your duck is definitely dead." said the vet.

    "I cannot believe it!" cried the woman. "Surely he's just unconscious?!"

    Sighing again, the vet opened the door and made a sucking sound with his lips. A few minutes later a cat entered. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." He turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

    "£150!" cried the duck's owner, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."

    And THAT is what makes Jasper-Horatio Stafford laugh. Pity me, my friends, pity me deeply.

    Keep smiling them pretty smiles - even when it hurts a bit,

    Roo xxxx

  • Comment number 70.

    Roo and Jasper, very funny. LOL!

    I love weetabix too.

    Hope all went well for you today.

    csn. xxxx

  • Comment number 71.

    Evening all

    Roo and Jasper: that (apawling?) joke has made me chuckle :)

    CG: Not a mouse fan, but your story made me smile, as did the one about the visit to you mum armed with the kitten. Hope you get to make more memories to savour.

    Animals can be very perceptive can't they. My friend had to have her cat put to sleep a few weeks ago, and a day or so later she visited some family, and their cat (who normally avoids her like the plague) decided that would be the day he sat on her knee... she wasn't really in the mood, so I'm sure the cat got a shower of tears for it's troubles.

    On the cereal front, I tend to be a cornflakes girl (sorry if that's set anyone off humming), with the odd foray into porridge (with golden syrup) when it's very chilly and special K with fruit in for a change. Can't say the idea of weetbix (and similar products) with or without jam and butter appeals.

    Regards to passengers, I can take them or leave them, depending on my mood. There are times when I enjoy company in the car, and others when I prefer to have the radio / cds up loud my thoughts to myself.

    Jolly nice to have CLP back this morning, have to say of his holiday cover I did prefer Aled, although RM wasn't quite as bad (for the half hour I tested him) as I thought he might be!

    Hugs to anyone wanting one
    Oz

  • Comment number 72.

    Oz - Helloooo! LOVE the pun - a laugh, rather than a groan! SORT of agree with you. I love Aled (Jeez, I even have an Aled anecdote, what's WRONG with me?!).

    Your cat story is amazing. I cannot explain it - but animals know. They just know. It's true.

    I LOVE porridge - sweet not salty. Whenever it snows, I think of it. My dad used to make a pan of porridge for me and my brother on winter mornings and we would sit and eat it while our mum put the radio on to see if our school was closed, hehehe.... good times!

    I know this comment may now sink in popularity - but did it seem this morning slightly as though Chris was counting down the years until his Breakfast Show contract is up? No-one seemed quite themselves on the show today. Maybe it's just me; maybe it was just "first day back blues".

    Hey-ho. I'll do it - I'm told I have the perfect face for radio... ;-)

    Did anyone hear Vanessa Feltz's show? If so, what did you think? I missed it - was drifting in the arms of Morpheus at the time...

    Keep smiling!

    Roo xxx

  • Comment number 73.

    Roo, I didn't hear Ms Feltz' show.

    I hope she does well.

    I cant say that I liked her promotional clips. She seemed to take on that 'raised at the end of sentence voice' that drives Wrighty mad!

    I am also amazed to find out now that she is the same age as me. A few years ago, she was a bit older. That must be me catching up then ;)

    I hope you are wrong about your contract commments, unless it means him coming back to Drivetime ( sorry Blogpoppets.x)

    Maybe its just a 'getting back to work thing?'

    I missed out on my Christmas break this year after only having 6 days hols last year. But, in the big scheme of things, things could be worse.

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 74.

    Age ,Age eveyone is on about age .
    Yous not old ,yous youg you lot .not a pesioner between you .hehehe!!!!
    Bids.xxx.

  • Comment number 75.

    I'm married to a pensioner Bids.

    He's going back to work on Wednesday. Something we didn't imagine possible after the terrible scare that occurred 3 days before Christmas.

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 76.

    Yes wasn't he a lucky chap ,not nice when you have a big scare like that .Been there ,done that ,no more I say .

    must be nice for Mr MTF to be going back and getting into the old routine will be good for him .Bet he was going a bit stir crazy being home ,three weeks is it ???

    Give him our regards and tell him steady as he goes .

    Bids.xxx.

  • Comment number 77.

    Haha - Bids (and MTF) - plenty 'o good years left in us yet!!!

    AND you - grey hairs are the Silver Crown of Wisdom, you know... That's in the Bible, you know (my parents are missionaries. Again - pity me), so it MUST be true...!

    And Bids - you're NOT old - just "differently-young"(or "chronologically-challenged"; take your pick)!

    Right. I really MUST go and deliver that £20... :-(

    Rx

  • Comment number 78.

    4 weeks Bids, altho it seems a lot longer!!

    Yikes Roo, why am I in brackets? LOL.

    Bids, you have been through a lot of worries I know, but that lovely husband of yours is Superman. Dont tell him mind!!

    MTF.xx





  • Comment number 79.

    Mr B has just turned in and so must I go also.

    No I wont tell him MTF ,we'll keep that to ourselves .x

    Roo,nice to see you ,them blood testsare going to throw out all sorts of wrong info ,you naughty girl .
    And there is one thing about age ,I think you are as old or as young as you feel at the time .If you want to be old you will be ,me I'm young ,mad ,and sometimes sad .I wont tell you what my girls say hahaha.

    My dear old mum always said that she was as old as her tongue and a little older than her teeth .Took me a while to sort that out when I was a young girl

    Righty ho !!!

    I'll say goodnight to you ALL.

    Sleep tight and stay safe .

    Bids.xxx.

  • Comment number 80.

    ....and on that note Bids, I will say goodnight too.

    Its nice to have a catch up again.

    Time passes by, just doing the same old, same old.

    Lets hope this day of darkness, turns into a day of brightness by tomorrow.

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 81.

    I've just had a late night read through.

    Chrissie, many congrats to you and Mr Chrissie.

    I hope you had a lovely evening.

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 82.

    Good morning ALL,
    Yes On just rising I forgot to bestow my wishes.

    Crissie ,Many congratulations to you and Mr Crissie on your wedding anniversary ,that's a lot of years to be together .And I hope the drinks flowed last evening .

    Right must get the coffee into MR Band get my breakfast then off to work .

    Have a good one Folks and take care .

    Bids.xxx.

  • Comment number 83.

    Morning All,

    Happy Tuesday

    Chrissie, Congrats to you and Mr Chrissie on your years of wedded bliss and as Bids said I trust a glass or two passed your lips last night xx

    cg, Sending big hugs xx

    Deev, I had porridge for breakfast yesterday, macaroni cheese for dinner last night and Weetabix for breakfast this morning!!!! Hope you are feeling less blue today xx

    Now can I have a moan?? It is nice to have Chris back on the blog, but something has tarnsihed my listening to him on the radio! He's probably been doing this for the past year, but the last two mornings it has really, really irritated me and that is talking/singing over the records and even the jingles. Steve Wright does it and that annoys me too. What is the point of an artist putting blood, sweat and tears into a song only to have the DJ talk over it!!! I even shouted at Chris this morning, but I don't think he heard me. I'm going to put it down to him being excited to be back after his break and for clocking up his first year on Breakfast. But let's hope he stops this awful habit soon!!

    Sorry to moan, carry on, as you were :)

    AliB
    xx

  • Comment number 84.

    Morning all.

    Just quickly re: Weetabix .... we were given two each for breakfast as kids, but not with milk. Oh no ... mum put butter and marmalade on them - they took an absolute age to eat - just try it! Happy to report that I haven't touched them since leaving home! And the other delight as kids was being given cornflakes in the winter with warm milk .... blurp, blurp, blurgh.

    Have a good day and hope the blues are starting to fade fast.

    jillygoat xx

  • Comment number 85.

    MTF - I've just seen your post about Weetabix with jam & butter - really?!! I still think it was mum's way of keeping us quiet in the mornings!

    jillygoat xx

  • Comment number 86.

    LOL Jilly, still eat them that way.

    H/m lemon curd is my favourite, then a last blob of butter on the knife to pick up all the crumbs with.

    Mawning all.

    MTF.xx

  • Comment number 87.


    Ali - calm yourself! Shouting at CLP will serve no porpoise at all, although had I heard Fireflies this morning (I missed it - yay!!) the air would have turned darker in my vicinity.

    Back at work today but not happy. As soon as I walked in my heart sank at the dread of the next 8 hours or so. I was online at 6.30 this morning applying for more jobs so we'll see how it goes. I've also been given a sickness form to fill out but am refusing to put what was wrong with me in the relevant box - it's none of their beeswax, frankly.

    If I want to sit at home in my PJs and eat Jaffa Cakes they don't need to know that.

    Thanks for all your kind words - you're a fab bunch of friends.

    Chrissie - hope your anniversary evening was all you wanted it to be.

    Huggles to everyone else, esp. CSN and CG.

    Muchos Amore

    Deevs
    x





  • Comment number 88.

    Deev, I'm calmer now ;) I wish you could come and work in my office we could keep each other company. I'm facing another day of loneliness, it wouldn't be quite as bad if I was going home to someone :(

    MTF, #86, that is exactly what my Mum does but with Ginger Marmalade xx Has anyone every tried weetabix with butter and marmite?? Go on I dare you.

    AliB
    xx

  • Comment number 89.

    Ali - I must admit, I'm with you on the talking over of music and jingles etc. SW is by far the worst offender and I also shouted at him yesterday - grrrrr!

    Deevs - hee hee - I thought of you when I heard Fireflies and did wonder if you were listening. I imagined the air being bluer than yesterday's mood!!

    I think Jaffa Cakes should be available on the NHS - think how much happier we'd all be!

    jillygoat xx

  • Comment number 90.

    Jaffa Cakes on the NHS ...... Jillygoat for Prime Minister!!!

    Ali - I don't mind being in the office on my own. I usually bring in my iPod and an ickle speaker to plug it into and can pretty much please myself, although the day does tend to drag. It's days like today - hearing my young, inexperienced boss whinge all day about how busy she is, how she doesn't know where to start, how she can't fit in all the things she needs to do .... all whilst I'm sitting there like an ornament waiting to be polished! Yes, I've spoken up as to how bored I am but "it's nothing you can help with" seems to be the standard response.

    She'll miss me when I'm gone ....!

    I used to like dry Weetabix - kept me going after school when mum was at work and I had homework to do.

    Is it 5 o'clock yet!?!?

    Deevs
    x


  • Comment number 91.

    Deevs, It's 5 O'Clock somewhere xx Chin up chuck as you said she will miss you when you're gone xx

    Right, I'm off to put the kettle on anyone want a cuppa? I can even offer Roobois!

    AliB
    xx

  • Comment number 92.

    Mornin', mornin'.

    Enjoyed today's show much better than yesterday's. Nearly caused a major traffic incident when Chris mentioned about pockets in babies' trousers, hehe! Jasper took the wheel until I was able to stop laughing. ;-)

    Sorry you're job's no good, Deevs. My last one was like that - intrusive forms to fill out, etc. Most miserable. Hope you find something else to tempt you soon. xx

    Ali/Jilly - TOTALLY agree about the talking/singing over tracks and jingles. It's annoyed me for a long time about the otherwise-fab Steve Wright. I'd like to listen to the tracks played, not something that sounds like Karaoke Afternoon at the local Senior Citizens' ±«Óãtv, hehe! Wrighty probably can't help himself now, bless him, but there may still be hope for Chris. He should channel more of his energy into winding up Johnny and then he might not have enough puff left for warbling ;-) !

    I heard a bit of Vanessa this morning. Better than I was expecting. She sounds a little bit desperate and scared, but I'd be desperate and scared too if it was MY first week on Radio 2. I think she'll do well - she's got a nice voice and I've always quite liked her.

    Better get on...

    Laters.

    Roo xxx

  • Comment number 93.

    New blog :)

  • Comment number 94.

    Hello Peeps, what a lovely day today (hope it is where you are) I'm in the office this morning (on the top floor) looking out over the Norwich landscape and it makes you feel pretty darn good I can tell you! not a cloud in the sky.
    Weetabix discussion - hmmm, can't really get my head around the butter & jam bit but as a none milk drinker I couldn't fancy a soggy mess either - euwwww! Mind you, I do like porridge - made with milk & no sugar though, what's that all about?
    Roo - loved Jaspoers joke, not really sure I should admit to that, should I?
    JG - I hate having passengers in my car - they always talk over the best music!
    I have listened to Vanessa & although she does sound a bit nervous (who wouldn't!) I think she'll settle in really well.
    Loving having CLP back, I know he has to have a break, but please could we have another presenter next time - not RM!
    Right - work to do .........

    CG xx

  • Comment number 95.

    #94 - Jasper even - oops! x

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