HELP LADIES, HELP - I NEED HELP.
Yes I know you know that but I'm not talking generally I'm talking specifically...
You're going to go mad with me but I have no idea what to get my wife for Christmas, tomorrow is the designated day for the shop...a.m. only.
Jewellery is the salvation of the man with no immagination or the guy with a guilty conscience along with the flower seller. So that's out. I can't buy her clothes because she does it so well herself. Undies are out too, we did a joint naughty day in London a couple of weeks ago - very successful and we got a room ! I know but why not ? I suspect she wants a fab pair of boots, or is that me ? No, it's definitely her, honest, tell me wa woman who wouldn't love a pair of leather leg enhancers.
My God, I've just had a eureka (johnson) moment - I've got it by gumdrops I really have.
"What is it ?" Now of course I cannot tell you that would indeed be telling.
Tomorrow on the show, our annual what do we get at the last ditch for a tenner. The winner from the last six years, still to be beat, a lottery ticket !
Bring it on.
CLP.
2OO7.
X.
Comments
CLP!
You are naughty - I'm sure she must have dropped hints - it's what us ladies do best! Failing that - a couple of days at a spa 9you could go along too), or one of those experiences - you know the type - rally car driving (would love that!), 4 x 4 off-roading, hot air balloon flight, etc, etc...
I think Richard Branson has a website...
Good luck!
S xx.
P.S. Tinsel - have a great night tonight!
You don't need help.
I wouldn't want boots, but then I probably don't have the gorgeous legs your wife has. I could have a new pair of legs!
What about........a bike. I'd quite like a bike. But then maybe my priorities in life are different from your wifes?
DWNB
Christmas Shopping is a nightmare - especially when you haven't had any clues as to what your other half actually wants.
Standby pressies include; perfume, boots, handbags and jewellery or all of the above!!
But the best pressie is happiness and health.
How about some perfume made especially for her? I think to be romantic you have to prove you've thought about it, and the gift has to be personal to her rather than something that could have been given to just anyone......
Mange tout CLP, sounds like you've cracked it!
lottery ticket? Only really any good if it's a winner!
Secret Santa here for a few years, she shall remain nameless, always buys 5 quids worth of lottery then signs card love from .....x not Secret Santa but her own name. Don't think she really gets the premise!
TTFN
Tiggy xx
I bought my wife a rainbow maker for her birthday last year as a bit of a joke and she seriously loves it - can't remember the exact cost but it was defo less than £25. Great for any large room with a south facing window.
Some ideas for Natasha, some perhaps a bit late for Christmas:
An IWC Pilot’s Watch Double Chronograph Edition TOP GUN in ceramic with black soft strap. But you won`t get one now or well into 2008 for love or money!
A nice scarf, M&S have ladies pure Cashmere scarfs in lots of different colours for £19.50 - bargain!
A trick golf ball!
Hot water bottle.
m xxx
LOL Tiggy! Somewhere where I used to work they lost the spirit of Secret Santa too.
The majority were so flamin' fussy and devoid of a sense of humour they'd go out and buy their OWN gift and then put an email round the whole department along the lines of "whoever's got me in Secret Santa.. I've bought myself a XXXX and it's in my top drawer, so can you please just take it out and replace it with a fiver ..."
Honest!!!! You couldn't make it up (unless you're Marian Keyes or someone equally talented!!)
We're doing our Secret Santa tomorrow afternoon. I have no idea who's got me and I'm part dreading it and part can't wait! I know there are some "wind-up" things under the tree for some staff tho.
Off to the Post Office now.
Ho Ho Ho!
CtD xxxxx
Chris,
This is a toughie. How about some Cashmere bed socks from the White Company? She doesn't have to wear them in bed, could be they would be handy for just walking around the house!
Also, again from the White Company, a lovely fluffy (but not bulky) dressing gown. They are gorgeous.
Incidentally, I do NOT work for the White Company - I work in an office!
And a really good book - you can come up with something. And a fabulous scarf from a fab wee boutique somewhere - London is heaving with these places!
Good luck!
C xx
P.S. I am hoping for a really nice watch and the second series of Extras!
Don't ask me I never know what I want for Christmas so it's lucky I don't have a special someone to buy something for me!!!! Ha Ha
Bingo Star - there are plenty of good women looking for their perfect fellow (meself included) so don't give up!!
Joyeux Noel
Cathmel x x x
Hi Chris,
So bad of you not to have been listening indeed.
I agree with Spa day, experience day - Hot Air Ballooning is a fab one and rallydriving.
You could send her to a make over place for complete make over and photographs for her family and yourself.
Under £10 gifts include art deco glass and stained glass photo frames, trinket boxes and jewellery cases. Perfume but not with body lotion etc, Body shop does a nice make your own with 10 perfumes that you can mix and match for individuality.
Get a hot tub for the garden plus something to put it in as outside would get cold.
Take her over to france for a meal.
Take a trip to IOW and buy her IOW Pearls - oh yes they do exist.
Got to go
Phoenix
Season's Greetings Ter ALL Of.... The Blog,
Bingo Star ere.
CLP - A good present would be terrrrr get Tash a full astro reading from a proffessional astrologer. Yer know with all of 'er astrological make up.... if she's inter that kind of thing.
But don't write 'er a romantic song.... i've learned the 'ard way it ain't work outta the movies/ poptastic charts, ain't work friend!!!!!
Tinsel - No i'm not a woman in disguise just a modern man in touch with me feline side. i like chocolate as most men do.
Like I say if I met a Ukrainian beauty even though she'd probally want ter cook goulash for me, i'd say no..... let me.... let me. A sign of a modern man in touch with 'is feline side - know what am sayin'!!!!!!
Ok all eres me latest astro reading......
Terdee i'm using on me Bingo Crystal Ball Of..... The Zodiac fresh oranges. Trying ter keep away man flu with lots of vitamin C!!!!
Righto.. ere goes... rub, rub, rub, ploish, ploish 'old on it's glowing orange................. can't see anit.... oh it's orange blocking out the orange.... just clean it ere okayyyyy... yes it's glowing..... astro orange, I can see a field..... dung..... a bull with a ring in it's nooose. Wait am getting a bull near a pub called...... The Bull & a bloke in the pub talkin'....... 'ull!!!!!
Getting me wires crossed... ohhhh yes it's The Bull aka Taurus!!!!!
Taurus is the most Reliable of all the blog zodiac signs!
Taureans are very alike capricorns in many ways and are a fellow earth sign.
Taureans are linked with beauty, romance, sentimental, wealth, prosperity, materlialism, financial security, general security in family life, cautious and sometimes shy.
Taurus zodiacians are very reliable, you can always rely on one to get a job done, very dependable.
They can be stubborn though & can be slow to make discisions, pondering over things before taking action.
Although their stubborness can be good at work as they make excellent, reliable employees who will always get the job done.
Sometimes they can be a little quite too.... little to say but you will never find a taurean without friends as their reliability, easy going nature makes people like them.
Also taureans are very loving, placid, gentle calm & patient, they make very good cooks too!!!
Careers Suited To A Typical Taurus :
Anything to do with banking, farming, floristry, architecture, food, engineering. Anything to do with building/ construction, medical, secretarial & anything with a stable postition like lkarge companies.
Leisure Persuits Linked To A Typical Taurus :
They like singing, listening to music, gardening, queiter activities such as horse riding, gentle sports. Restaurants/ meals with family.
Sensual pleasures, gifts of value & routine like going for a walk/ walking the dog daily at the same time.
Health Problems Linked With Taurus :
Throat, tongue, tonsils, neck, veins & kidneys.
Famous Female Taureans :
Queen Elizabeth II (aka Aych R Aych), Andrea Corr, Enya, Cher, Barbera Striesand, Florence Nightingale, Renee Zellwegger, Janet Jackson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tammy Wynette, Penelope Cruz, Cate Blancett, Kelly Clarkson, Victoria Wood & Glenda Jackson.
Famous Male Taureans :
Bing Crosby (Yesssss Bing!!), Eric Morecambe, Micheal Palin, David Beckham, Ben Elton, Chow Yun Fat, Bono, William Shakespeare, Tony Blair, Stevie Wonder, George Clooney, Pete Townsend, Billy Joel (Up town girrrrllll or was it down town? Ain't remember), Enrique Iglesias, James Brown, Andre Agassi, Pierce Brosnan & Joe Cocker.
Bingo Celebrity Astro Compatibility Investigation :
Queen Elizabeth II (2nd) - Taurus / Prince Philip - Gemini - The Queen & The Duke Of Edinburgh are a very good match astrologically.
The Queen is a very calm, stable/ dependable person being taurus & Prince Philip is known for 'is wit, inquisitivness - very typical gemini!!!!
But both a good match!!!
I love Prince Philips dry 'umour!!!!
'ope this 'elps!!!!!!
Chow!
PS A festive message Sven style :
Mince pies without mince meat.......
I LIKE IT...... VERY MUCH....... I LIKE IT!!!!!!!
As she has just got her wings, how about a flight in a two seater WWII Spitfire? My dad was given this as a present and loved it, a once in a life time experience and with such a lovely story behind the restoration of this supurb aeroplane.
Jam? With alcohol in it. That's nice.
Hoi Bingo Star.
I'm Taurus. I think you have me off patt. Well Done. Which book are you using?
And it makes me wonder one and all
What the present for Tash is? Something fab I'll be bound.
As for unusual pressies... how about a car door so when it gets too hot you can wind the window down. OK OK. i'LL GET ME COAT.
Cartmel- Maybe you and Bingo should get together. Are you Astro suited?
Meanwhile at Plum Towers there is a fridge freezer in the hall. Handy to offer drinks to passing carol singers.
The sink is proped up in the kitchen and mirowave is in the lounge.
That is no joke!
Toodle oo
Bingo - Keep meaning to ask you, who do Sagittarians get on well with? (Or have I asked you, can't remember!)
Don't agree with you re jewellery Chris, it depends what you get I think. If you look at what she already has that should give you some clues. I would really love a watch, something really special. You could get a Nintendo DS, I got one last year for my birthday and I love it!
Absolutely whacked, off to bed when the kids go, tidy up day tomorrow.................
Em xx
chris outdoor and camping shops hav some fantastic boots especially for an outdoor type of woman...gardening,walking the dog,work on the house, type of things.merry christmas bloggers
Good Thursday one and all...I take it that I'm too late to the 'Wot to get Captain Tash for Christmas' party...so I'll just help myself to a vol au vent and get on with it...
I was off with a sniveller yesterday in all it's full force. Felt so blimmin awful - all thick and snotty - AND my ears were singing. We are going to try and get a turn at the karaoke machine in the shopping centre next time as they manage to keep in tune quite well...
How about a lovely furry (faux of course dahling) hat and some mittens
love
hazel
x
Plum...you'll have to give the carol singers ice pops!
2 days of work to go, peeps!!
I think men are much harder to buy gifts for than women. I'm quite happy with the usual jewellery, lingerie, purfume and shoes. Just have a another naughty day, Chris, you can never have too many sexy undercrackers.
Failing that, the Mighty Boosh are on tour next year. See you there?
Rosie x
Season's Greetings Ter..... Ter..... Ter...... YOU!!!!
Bingo Star ere.
Prof Plum & Cathmel - Are you single Prof man?You two make a very good match astro wise - Pisces & Scorpio - what beautiful water sign 'armony!!!!
DWNB - It's my many years of training of failed relationships, many, many books & net research of the zodiac.
Hazel Love - Very sorry ter 'ear you've now got this damn bug aswell - if it's the same one I know everyone 'as 'ad it only lasts 3 ter 4 days. 'ope you get better soon!!!
Em M - Sagittarius are compatible with Sagittarius as all signs are with their same sign. Plus capricorns, aquarians, arieans, leos, librarians..... sorry librians, some libririans too though... depending on the sign & scorpios too.
The signs that you may find it difficult with are pisces, gemini & virgo. And as every sign 'as two no. no signs were things could be very difficult for sag dudes, they are taurus & cancer.
Having said that these astro matches are not set in stone & depending on the individual & the extra astro signs in a persons birth chart. Which is to do with their time of birth, a persons astro make up is made up of two other zodiac signs aswell as their sun sign - their main sign.
But ultimately their sun sign is their main sign and a persons typical personality traits will normally be pretty similar to that.
A couple with totally wrong astro matches can still get on very well & find harmony together - it's just i've seen so many times couples that are not good matches end up splitting up.
Bingo Celebrity BIG Astro Investigation Of Not Good Astro Matches:
Prince William - Gemini/ Kate Middleton - Capricorn - These are not a good match astrologically - be interesting to see if they do manage to stay together - I hope they do!!!
Also Nelly Furtado - Sagittarius / Timbaland - Pisces - Again not a good match astro wise... maybe the Furatado will end up single again - know what am sayin'!!!!
'ope this 'elps!!!!!
Chow!
PS Another festive message Sven style :
Baubles.... big ones.... little ones, with.... different patterns & different colours...... dangling..... yes dangling from a green branch......
I LIKE IT....... VERY MUCH....... I LIKE IT!!!!!!!
CLP you little tease you don't need any help with what to buy for the missus; even from a professional shopper like meself.
I wouldn't even presume to guess since I don't know the stunningly gorgeous and seemingly lovely Natasha. But you'll pass with flying colours and we all know it.
The thing is this with presents. You know the old saying about it being the thought that counts. Well it's totally true. It's the thought that's gone into the gift that will show if you've truly tried to give that specific person what they would wish for, and put time and care into it.
I'm unimpressed by fancy wrapping done in some posh store by a person I don't know; and a mouldy old bunch of flowers don't do it for me either.
All my life I've been told by my family that I'm impossibly difficult to buy for, hence I've been bought the most bizarre and inappropriate gifts forever. Equally they say to me, "Oh, you're lucky; you just have the knack of buying the right thing." Guys, it's just because I actually THINK about the recipient, it's not rocket science.
So how come the daughter finds it easy peasy to buy for me. It's because she pays attention to my needs and wishes, that's why; when she's purchasing a gift it's with ME in mind, rather than buying what SHE thinks I SHOULD want.
I well remember when, not long after her father and I split up, she, then aged about 5 or 6, went out Christmas shopping with him and on Christmas day presented me with a huge bottle of perfume which must have cost the ex-hubby an absolute fortune. I could have chucked it right out the window, I was furious, but naturally didn't let her know this. I felt that spending an excessive amount of money without any thought behind it was sending the worst possible message to her.
Therefore we set down a rule. She should give me a gift on Mothers' Day, birthdays, etc., that's healthy. But it should cost no more than a pound. And guess what. I've loved every present she has ever given me....the best one ever was a coffee truffle and a bunch of sweet peas from the garden, wrapped in a home-made card with the maddest-looking portrait of meself, grinning maniacally and with a big red heart and "I love you, Mum" scribed patiently within.
Naturally our budget has gone up somewhat and these days I'm able to spoil her myself (them Mulberry handbags don't come cheap) but the thrill of those moments down the years is precious and priceless to me.
Knowing somebody loves you, warts and all, is the best gift you can be given....and it's free.
Ok sermon over.
Now then one and all. I'm in LOVE.
With Heston Blumenthal. Proof if proof were needed that the line between madness and genius is indeed a fine one.
Move over, CLP whilst I climb over to get to Heston. And he looks wierd, too. Just the chap for me. Hurrah bless 'is little blow-torch.
Reindeer milk.xx
Clodagh.xx
Good morning!
Date last night was OK - seems a nice guy - I know he liked me - his body language mirrored mine and he texted me as soon as he got home!
Bingo - I understood that Cancer and Pisces were a very good match (from what I've read), but I'm not sure he floats my boat! Am prepared to see him again though, just to see!
Oddly enough - he's just texted me...
Off to works Christmas lunch later and am playing a selection of Christmas CD's to get in the mood - to be honest, I am in half a mind about whether or not to go! But, according to my horrorscopes, I should! Hey - it's a free lunch...
Hope CLP got Tash something gorgeous!
S xx.
Morning all. First of all - Bingo, hope I didn't offend you with my 'woman in disguise' comment - if I did, a thousand apologies. I hate the thought that I might upset someone.
((((Debbie)))) - you will get there in the end, CtD's advice is spot on.
Sammie - thanks for the advice. Yep I'm deffo going to do some fun things. Learn to tango for one. I met my ex on a dating website - thought I might try speed-dating for a laugh!!
Party was fun, not feeling too grim (althuogh 2 hours late for work but who's checking???)
CLP, someone on the radio the other day was talking about unusual pressies - the best one was a jar, in which you put lots of handwritten little love notes, written on beautiful paper, all folded up, so that every day she can read a new message about how much you love her/what you love about her etc?? I thought that was lovely!
Good days all
Txxx
And whilst I'm dreamin' of Heston feedin' the Togmeister, on the theme of roastin' chestnuts on an open fire, after 3...
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Black Forest gateau up your nose,
Yuletide logs bein' thrown by a choir,
Egg yolks dressed up in Marie Rose.
Everybody knows roast turkey stuffed with mistletoe
Starts the season with a fight;
Nineteen shots, twelve mince pies in a row,
You'll find it hard to sleep tonight.
You know old Santa's on his way;
He's got champagne and pheasants on his sleigh,
And every pint of mild will make you spy
That pigs and reindeers really fly.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
With special thoughts for Lindyloo,
Though it's been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas, Lambpie's listeners, Merry Christmas to you.
xxxx
Clodagh.xx
Hmmm, I've often wondered what 'celebs' buy each other at Christmas time. It appears from the outside looking in that they seem to be able to get anything at anytime, so what makes that special gift????
I always try to 50/50 it for MrsW, I get stuff I know she wants and then get a load of stuff iwhich is purely my choice!!! Normally works but there has been the occasional clanger dropped.
I would suggest something along the lines of flying stuff due to MrsE's current success, failing that I don't suppose a woman can ever have enough jewellery....
...or lingerie (can never have too many naughty days)
Back to work tomorrow - right through now until 7am Xmas day! Hope you're all well and you get what you want/need.
Love to all
KWx
Alwight,
Clodagh - Merry Christmas ter you too, well not too merry or yer mighty end up in the 'AA' in the new year - know what am sayin'!!!!!
Like yer Christmas poetry Clodagh.
CLP - Talkin' of Christmas.... still tryin' ter get me Christmas Crackers played tergether!!!!
Christoof man thee are Whigfield - Last Christmas & The Darkness - Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bell's End..... friend).
'ope this 'elps!!!!!
Chow!
'Naughty day' ......you better buy her the "Peekaboo - Poledancing Pole" it comes as a flat packed 'do it yourself kit' you can 'erect' it in your bedroom, and it comes with instuction leaflet, pink garter, and fake 10 dollar bills, for you know what!
It is supposed to be good exercise...well thats what you will tell her!
Buy her a flying lesson!!
Then when she gets her Pilots Licence she can take you on holiday!!
What a fabulous day one and all
It's like being on the top of the mountains in Austria.
Do we get madder as we get older thats what I want to know.
Or is it we don't care what people think anymore.
Anyway, Bingo man If you had heard my Christmas gobsmakers you would know that Prof Plum is no Christmas fairy or whatever else the song refers too.
Hazel, all Carol singers welcome to help themselves in the fridge, plenty of green mould there.
Great peom Clodagh.
Q How do you microwave a Turkey.
Guten Dias
Afternoon Blog friends worldwide!
I thought I would cheer you all up by relaying the tale I have just espoused on the dark side. If it gets through the Blogblock!
So, you're fast asleep and the person next to you is obviously mid-dream. You know his arm is in plaster. There's lots of thrashing about, moaning and screaming? He says "It's got my arm! Get it off of my arm!"
What do you do?
Do you
A) try to gently wake him and bring him out of a bad dream?
or
B) Wait for him to rip the plaster cast off of his arm and then lay there laughing as he tells you what was the cause of the bad dream?
Mrs Dissing this morning at 3 o'clock chose option B) as the plaster cast flew across the room, she finally woke me and proceeded to kill herself laughing as I told her that in the dream we were on safari and a lion had got hold of my arm. I obviously was not best pleased about this and tore my plaster cast off whilst trying to remove the lions mouth from my arm!
NICE!!!
For those sniggerers amongst you! Enjoy!
DD Out
PS That's the last time I have a curry during the week!
PPS 4 candles!
Hi Christophe
I expect you are jostling with the shoppers to
get your wife a prezzie. Hope you did well
Happy Christmas
Have Fun
Love
Kazz x
Prof - shut the door and press the button????
EmM - HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow x x x
KWx
Afternoon,
Back from lunch - very full, don't think I'll be eating again today!
Daughter (bless her) has marzipanned the Christmas cake for me and made mince pies for me to bring to work tomorrow - she's after something...
My boss just called and asked me what I was doing back in the office, as he didn't expect me back! Duh!!! Nice guy - he's told me to go home early! Such a change from the Monster I worked with before.
'Tis all ok peeps...
S xx.
If I may offer advise, I had the bug last week, burning eyes, aches , sweats ,a throat full of razor blades and a strangley swollen uvula ( spell!). 2 days in bed didnt help so stuggled back to work on wednesday where my saviour, the chef here at work, made me a flask of hot water, fresh ginger, local honey and fresh lemon juice. I drank about 3 pints of it and it was magical. Throat gone, aches gone and a bounce back in my step.
Get well soon CHris you brave soldier you
Saz
Ken Wells, you`ve not been paying attention!
Afternoon,
Back from lunch - very full, don't think I'll be eating again today!
Daughter (bless her) has marzipanned the Christmas cake for me and made mince pies for me to bring to work tomorrow - she's after something...
My boss just called and asked me what I was doing back in the office, as he didn't expect me back! Duh!!! Nice guy - he's told me to go home early! Such a change from the Monster I worked with before.
'Tis all ok peeps...
S xx.
Hi all!
Tinterweb is playing up - can't see today's post!
Also, I posted a comment earlier, at work, but there were problems! I think the Blog elves have had too much Christmas Pud!!!
Anyhoo - date was good last night. I will see him again, as he is a nice guy, but I'm not sure if that 'thing' is there - or does it happen after some time? Who knows?
Had Christmas lunch at work today with my old team and then rang my boss when I got back to the office, only for him to ask me why I was in the office at all! Ho hum!!
Hope you're all having a great day - only 5 sleeps to go!
S xx.
Ken Wells...........!
assume you not a regular reader/listener
She already IS a qualified pilot....duh..!!
:}
d