WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HATES YOU, YOUR DOG LOVES YOU.
Mange Tout and a good Monday morning to you.
Came back to London today in rush hour traffic…
…How do people do that journey every day ?
I got to listen to the end of Sarah Kennedy and all of Wogan. Just over two and a half hours for a forty mile trip. What a palaver !
Who are the nutters here, the people who organise the roads, or the people who agree to drive on them ?
People power is everything, strike about the roads, strike about bank charges, strike about house prices, strike, strike, strike.
Of course that’s not going to happen, so being the entrepreneur that I am, I’m thinking how can we make those peoples, who have no choice in the matter, happier and earn a few quid on the side…
What about audio crosswords? I love the crossie but unless there’s someone with me to read out the clues I’m spanked.
What about car correspondence courses ? Tapes/cd’s, like they have already but with an exam and a qualification.
What about moving London to somewhere less central, with a bit more space, like Alaska for example ?
I feel even more responsibility now to churn our a decent show every night, knowing that you must be gagging for some in-car fulfilment.
I’m now all arrived in the capital and gymmed up and everything. I have a meeting in a mo’ as well as the big chat with the drive time producer, Lady Helen of Hullsville.
So much to talk about from the weekend, will try and get much of it o the air as possible.
In short… Ireland and France, ouch ! Top Gear the best it’s ever been, apart from the cow on the roof, no need for that. Dame Mirren, the best ! Oh and marinated venison on a bed of parsnip mash, yumsville after a good old yomp of a Sunday morning walk.
Blog on people.
CLP x.
Comments
I'm with you Chrissie LP - the reference to 'cow juice' was VILE!!
Laughed my socks of though when the 'boys' turned up at the gas station.
TOP GEAR RULES!!!
Hi Chris, glad you're feeling ok!
Yes the rush hour...fortunately (dependent on whether my car is working or someone brings me to work) I am usually only in it for 15-25 minutes. Having said that, there are three (count 'em) schools between me and my place of work, so leaving just those couple of minutes later means a whole new ball game!
Regarding your in-car ideas...can you think how the authorities are going to react if there was 'more to do' in cars? I reckon that the extra penalty coming in regarding mobile phones, is already proof that there is soon going to be some kind of zero tolerance to anything at all in the not too distant...makes you think twice about peeling that banana while you're stopped at the traffic lights!
During the meanwhilst, I'm fine bumbling along at the end of the day listening to what you are already doing, and then hopefully even being able to listen indoors too...More than enough mate...
tarte tatin
love
hazel
x
Morning CLP
I'm so pleased that I'm one of the people that don't have to commute to work every day and the days I have to go into the city (whichever one that happens to be) I tend to arrange appointments at times where I can get a train or drive in after the rush hour traffic. I do feel for those of you who have to endure it day after day and I can understand why so many people are angry at work.
Top Gear-EPIC! what a shame about New Orleans though, what a disgrace!
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
ps. if I do have to drive into-out of work appointments I do try to be in the car to listen to the show... is that crazy?
Afternoon Christoph
I couldn’t do the London thing.
Friends of mine trudge up on a daily basis, plugged into MP3s or portable DVD players on the train or spending hours on end in the traffic. I drive 43 miles each way to work – against the traffic – with 5 Live guiding me in and you taking me home. It takes me about 50 minutes each way, so I don’t have to get up at stupid ‘o’ clock and can be in the gym by 6.30 each evening.
We did our 15 mile Surrey Hills yomp on Saturday.
From Box Hill we head across to Ewhurst , via Leith Hill. Chucked it down at the beginning, chucked it down at the end, but most of the time it was sunny!
Weird weather.
As we hauled ourselves through the rain for the last few miles we had but a single thought – a roaring fire and a few pints of your finest ale, please barman. We were almost jogging as we came around the corner to find,
The pub was shut.
It was like Michael Palin going around the world to find the Reform Club wouldn’t let him in at the end. Well, OK maybe not quite as dramatic, but it was a pretty empty feeling. We had neither the energy or the enthusiasm to go any further and although I was barely 5 miles from home, we had no means of transport to make the next pub. All we could do was sit in the rain and wait for the bus, our thirst remaining firmly unquenched.
Having stripped off and changed on the bus – you ought to try it – we eventually made it to a pub that was open and perched ourselves at the bar and remained there for the rest of the evening.
Nice.
Kinky afro everyone
MfR
PS You can’t mail pants by computer design
Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2006
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of
the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at
the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I
was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the
last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him
by the ears to make him come."
Good Morning CLP!!!
Bright and early for a Monday! Know what you mean about the driving - it's awful, isn't it? Sometimes, even though you set off with plenty of time - there's something that's bound to scupper you - if it's not my fault, I don't get stressed - what's the point???
Not such a good weekend - ended up poorly (aaahhhh :-( ) so, spent most of the weekend indoors resting and sleeping - in between shouting at the lovely rugby men that is. Yesterdays game was an absolute corker - action all the way through - bet the Irish are damn mad at themselves though....
Popped round to A's last night - couldn't stand the confinement any longer, but - here's the news especially for you Susan S and Hazel Love - I am going out with K tonight!!! (Who has spent most of the weekend on the phone to me incidentally, in between A ringing to make sure I'm OK and do I need anything collecting from the Chemist/supermarket etc...) So watch out for tomorrow's update!!
Monday Monday - a brand new week - hope it's a good one for us all!
S xx.
i have a really bad hangover today.
DWNB
It takes me sometimes over an hour to get to work in Newcastle. I only live 13 miles it shouldn't take longer than 30 mins I hate It!!!!!!
Hi Chris.
How about roasted butternut squash and sweet potato! I found some ready prepared in my local sainsburys and bought it to try and it was FAB!!!
I have found that working hours that miss the Traffic works for me. Unfortunatly it means getting up at 05:30 every morning, but when I'm home by 4pm it doesn't seem so bad!
Anyway, if they moved London to Alaska the roads would be really quiet due to everyone taking a Snow-day!!!
Love the show.
Mary
one and all hello
How true, the one friend who will never let you down is your dog. Except of course when they have a thing about rolling in horse manure or cow pats. Now why do they do that? I don't know but it's then a quick journey home and straight into the Jacuzzi bath. A peg on the nose job.
have a nice day ya'll 10/4
Chris
Hi
I too thought that Top Gear was fantastic, but thought that the cow ordeal was completely out of order and I can't believe they did it. Seems that they are really trying to push peoples buttons on that show at the moment. If hamsters crash got them close to be taken off the air then the animal lovers and brain damage sufferers will gang up with everyone else they plan to offend this series, and it will probably get the chop.
Thought the rest was a work of genius though, and like most genius acts there is always a downside.
What a great trip through the states with yer mates around you, school boys / grown up men's dream. Can you imagine trying to do that over here. You would get to the Blackwall tunnel and give up after about three hours.
It was very interesting to see New Orleans, and asks the massive question "why are they bombing Iraq and Afghanistan when they can't provide for their own?"
Please, please everyone reading this, Please watch a video on Google Video called "Loose Change", it is enlightening and some of the best, informative TV I have ever seen. Chris perhaps you could get the makers on the phone sometime?
James
If you haven’t watched this weeks edition of Top Gear catch it on Wednesday ±«Óãtv2 at 7pm. It was so funny and an eye opener, best for a long time. Apart from that and the Rugby I had a pretty dull weekend. Oh I did watch Brentford play Brighton but I`d rather have been watching some motor sport. Off to the doctors soon, I’ve noticed my `man-boobs` getting bigger and I’m getting worried, I’ve told my friend James he’s in big trouble if he buys me a bra!! But perhaps it’s my body telling me to get a girl friend!!!
QUESTION: To Technical Support:
I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and on doing so noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing which took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but cannot uninstall Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User,
This is a very common problem that many men have. Many upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
Once the Wife 1.0 program is installed it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the files and return to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. At this stage it is advised to refer to the Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the programs Nag or Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. Some recommended programs include Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
P.S. Don't forget when you get the fatal blue screen to install chocolates 7.2 and wine 6.0 - A miraculous way to restore the operating system and keep it sweet - it works with certain versions anyway!
Also Installing "you look good" 1.2 and "your Bums not Big" 2.8 can help recover from that system crash you got when you tried to fix the "your fat" error.
If these new installation refuse to work try "beg & grovel .01" it's still in beta testing but is showing some promise.
Ma chere Christophe Tarte-Au-Citron,
Welcome back to Monday - big hugs to you and Enzo. Ruff.
I like it - voice interface for one of those navigator things that make it do something useful - like crosswords or games (though not Tetris -yelling "Left! Right! Rotate rotate rotate!" at your car is liable to get you stopped for insanity).
Something related - whether you're supposed to ask life questions on the blog, but hell, if you don't ask, you don't get.
Question:would you prefer 33% more salary (working in London, 2 hour commute each way) or four hours more a day free time (ie: work 10 minutes walk from home?)
Afternoon All, late entry into the blog charts this week as I seem to be unable to blog from work at the moment! Not quite sure where the problem lies although it is definitely not the person looking at my screen right now!
Anyway, Had a lousy weekend! to summarise
THURSDAY Snow yay! day off work, impossible to drive in as snow 6 inches thick! Decide to clear snow from patio and drive!
FRIDAY Ouch, cannot move neck in wither direction and struggling to lower shoulders from crucifixion position! See Doc, advised trapped nerve at base of neck. Probably caused by shovelling snow at THURSDAY above. Later excruciating pain in head as world dissolves into spinning, fog and twinkling in front of eyes ........... no, not alcohol induced but migraine, spend rest of day in darkness, in bed, in crucifix position.
SATURDAY still got migraine, Mrs DD gives massage to ease shoulders stay ing bed still in same position!
SUNDAY As for Saturday but much easier, therefore later get up to go to flicks see Epic Movie ........... NOT!!! save your money!!! Watch Top Gear Fantastic only Jeremy could bring in a dead cow on the roof of a camaro! and as for disabling James' AirCon ....... classic!!
Monday back to work
Who did I P*** off!
DD out
PS Looking forward to the rest of Rainbow in a short while now that I am home again!
PPS and we won the cricket ...... apparently!!!
I posted at about 11.00 today but nothing's appeared yet and I wasn't BeePee'd so not sure what's going on. It seems a bit quiet so perhaps I'm out there in the ether with everyone else!!!
Can't remember what I said now, but suffice to say Mr E we really do appreciate you between 5 and 7pm and, of course, anywhere inbetween!
Looking forward to the show,
jillygoat xx
HI Chris et al,
Couldn't agree more, plenty of room up here on the North Yorkshire Moors....but then, that would spoil it for me, sorry, changed my mind! (Self. self, self!) However, I wouldn't have so far to trave to Uni' every four weeks, so it would have it's advantages too.
Birthday trip to Bruges cancelled thanks to P&O, marvellous. Anyone know why? 'Health and Safety' they said, the mind boggles.
Spent the day at a kids play area instead; now have blinding headache and badly in need of Birthday drink.
Have a good show, looking forward to it, need cheering up!
Lots of love,
Jake. xx
hi Chris
mange tout to you to.
Having a horrible monday but am
hopeful it will be better towards the
end of day. Good blog you made
me smile anyway
x
Reading the blog - We moved out of the city (Newcastle)- it was taking my husband 20 minutes to do the 7 miles out of the city to work - near the airport, Now we live in the coutryside and it only takes him 18 minutes to drive 15 miles from here to the airport! And talking of cows on roofs - do you remember the story about the boatload of Japanese tourists who were whale watching or something and a cow dropped on their heads? It had gone a bit crazy in the back of a plane and they'd kicked it out!!!Thanks Chris for a super show AprilAtkinson, Morpeth. x x x
Good afternoon to all....
Mr E you may have had a very timely thought about moving Cities to more accessible spots as there is a documentary tonight about moving whole buildings to new locations. It seems there is some old footage showing them moving whole buildings via water and there are now two new attempts one in Canada and one in Colorado both moving completed buildings across miles into there new sites. C5 8pm.
PS End of public service information.
PPS I'm going home for me tea.
Keep safe and warm.
Wilsmar
Hi Chris
Took my first steps on the entrepreneurial road today with the launch of my new company, Pop2Stop Limited. We have developed a new approach to help people quit smoking based on my own success in ending a 20 year addiction and we strongly believe that this can really help people. Love the show,
Hello CLP
Glad you had a good weekend, I hate traffic which is why I would NEVER move to London and REFUSE to drive anywhere near the centre of it:0)
Top Gear was Ace last night only caught the last 1/2 hr as was out but oh how I giggled :0) Am going to watched again tonight on the ±«Óãtv pick of the week channel!
Byeee xXx
Hi Chris and Gang
You mentioned Early morning traffic.
I live in a village between Exeter and Honiton.
There are approximately 20 sets of traffic lights bewteen my home and work(which is in Exeter).
Buses,buses,buses.On the back of the local buses it says something like'Catch a bus , stop congestion'.
The buses create the congestion,the buses stop in silly places,holding up trafffic.Sometimes upto four buses are at the same stop at the same time.In the week it can take upto 1 hour to get to work,on Saturdays 20 minutes, following the same route.(Less buses on the road)
There is a Train station at my village,but this week the line is closed for a few days.
Let say my meal time is more frequent than the train stops when it is open.
Car,car car (Top Gear)is best by far.
Ha ha
Andy White
Hello CLP
Glad you had a good weekend, I hate traffic which is why I would NEVER move to London and REFUSE to drive anywhere near the centre of it:0)
Top Gear was Ace last night only caught the last 1/2 hr as was out but oh how I giggled :0) Am going to watched again tonight on the ±«Óãtv pick of the week channel!
Byeee xXx
Hello CLP
Glad you had a good weekend, I hate traffic which is why I would NEVER move to London and REFUSE to drive anywhere near the centre of it:0)
Top Gear was Ace last night only caught the last 1/2 hr as was out but oh how I giggled :0) Am going to watched again tonight on the ±«Óãtv pick of the week channel!
Byeee xXx
Chris
Great blog.
Rest assured you provide quality, my friend.
Crosswords are so much more fun with two, aren't they? It just adds another dimension.
Fantastic music tonight Chris.
Thanks for reading my text out: 1 out of 365 ain't bad, I guess : )....joking : )
I so agree about the tie thing - professionalism and sex appeal. They all wear them on Sky (sorry to mention that word), so come on Mr Inverdale....buck your ideas up. Anyway, in my opinion, it matters bo**ox how they 'feel' when they are presenting. The important thing is how they APPEAR TO and are PERCEIVED BY the customer?
Must dash - got to put the sprouts on
Gaby
x
Parker, you are a hoot! What does Wife 1.0 think of Lady Penelope then.....or didja swap jobs?
....and today is a day I really wished I had a Dog. I've wanted one since I lost my faithful hound in a separation deal, HE was able to look after MY trusty hound when I couldn't, because I had to work full time and couldn't keep her in the manner to which she had become accustomed. SO unfair, but I had to put the mut's welfare before mine.
No unpacking this weekend then Chris? Surely you have lots of peeps to help you with that lark anyway?
London elsewhere? What about the North Yorks Moors? Would certainly help me with travelling to lectures once a month, on the other hand, it would spoil it for us yompers, perhaps not eh?
Funny Monday alright, my Birthday plans were thwarted by P&O, no Belgian Chocs or Leffe for me and hundreds of other disappointed travellers, anyone know why they cancelled? 'Health and Safety' was the excuse but not seen or heard a thing on the news .
Had to spend Birthday at kids play area instead to console distraught seven year old and ended up with Mother of all headaches and badly in need of Birthday Bubbly. Just got back from ASK (fav Italian closed on Monday night) and now subjecting Temple to serious abuse at home. Things can only get better.....
Lots of Love.
Jake.xxxxx
Hi Chris et al,
Has Blog gone 'tech' on me or did I do something wrong?
TTFN.
Jake.
xx
ACCESS DENIED
Morning bloggettes
Ok the BP got me last night. I won't mention my suggestion of how the Rugby chaps should dress then! Great show Chris, and I'm definitley a country girl. I love visiting big cities - in fact i'm off to Glasgow today, but love coming home to the lovely country smells.
Ciao xx
I'm with you Chris, I drive for a living (44 tonner) am always on the A1M on a Friday and can't understand why all the drivers are so mad, thy do things just to get home a few seconds before the next one and they have left a lot of drivers in a bad mood with there anticas.
Me I just look and laugh at them as I know that I will be home on Sunday with my wife and dog.
Life is to fast and when we all learn to slow down and and let the mad one's get on with it the roads will be a lot safer for us all.
Chic H
Get your facts right
The distinctiion between a cake and a biscuit:-
A cake gets hard with age
A biscuit gets softer.
From Colin Andrew. Ayr, Scotland.
Say Hi to Karen on the M6 on her way hom to Jordan Callum & Daddy