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Return of The Brand

Stuart Baggs | 11:37 UK time, Monday, 23 May 2011

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Like all good parties the best guests arrive late…. so here I am, a week after the party started, arriving totally drunk and ready to offend the other guests. After all The Apprentice without The Brand would be like the Royal Wedding without Pippa Milddleton. Missing that special ingredient.

Yes the Apprentice is back and this time Lord Sugar’s offering a £250, 000 investment into a startup business. The catch? 12 grueling rounds in the boardroom and the inevitable loss of dignity that comes with paying £400 for some tea bags!

Lord Sugar is in an unenviable position. Forced to choose a winner from 16 highly skilled candidates, he would perhaps be better served by selecting numbers from a bingo machine. No prizes for guessing legs eleven is Edna.

Luckily for those seeking reassurance, Nick’s eyebrows have also made a welcome return this series.Ěý Seemingly set with an on/off switch (and wired directly into the mains), Nick eyebrows are either off or set to “Über-stunned” mode.

I’ll be writing a blog entry every week, so fear not loyal brand fans! I might not have won the job last year but this is one hell of a second prize!

For now, I bid you adieu, but don't be shy about adding your questions and comments below.

P.S. Fired candidates can collect their party bags filled with shattered dreams and humble pie on the way out.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    Brand = Legend.

  • Comment number 2.

    i suspect your humble pie won't be filled with humble though Stuart? After all, your apple pie was filled with oranges wasn't it? Maybe it's an ego pie, thinly veiled as humble pie... or even apple humble, depending on how much you love a pun!

    Good to see the brand back though, this series needs more characters!

  • Comment number 3.

    Should they get a party bag or a Party Baggs™? ;)

  • Comment number 4.

    much to say about nothing, nothing best said.

  • Comment number 5.

    Hello Stuart from a lifelong fan of the Apprentice. I must say that none of the contestants have really caught my eye yet although I must say that I really felt Vincent was the one who should have been fired last week. Was he not the one who said kick ar$e to get ice. Even you would not have done that!!

  • Comment number 6.

    I think the only strong candidate so far is Jim. I also really like Jim.

    Last year at this point the only obviously strong candidate was Stella and the one I liked was Chris. Hopefully a win for Jim then!

  • Comment number 7.

    Always enjoy the Apprentice but was disappointed by the "Buying/Negotiating" episode. Considering this year's candidates are supposedly entrepreneurs and are competing to set up a business all of them performed badly.

    I have a 3G phone and within seconds I can look things up on Google or Wikipedia, why then did one team waste time buying from Mayfair, and the other wasted time trawling through telephone directories? It is hardly what I call thinking on your feet, and in this day and age they all just looked stupid to be frank. I am 46 so I am hardly the generation that knows about the current technology but even I know I could use my phone to look things up. I do it regularly when chatting with friends to find out who is right or wrong for a joke. Or in a more Apprentice related skill I used my 3G phone to compare prices and products when trying to purchase blinds in IKEA, because frankly the salesperson had poor product knowledge.

    I am not a business person but even I know to do this, looking at this crowd I now understand why our economy is flagging. This year's candidates are the worst I have seen, last year, Stella stood out as a top, professional business person, this year none of the candidates fit this profile. The negotiating skills as the main part of the task were severely lacking, and with the exception of the Northern Irish man whose name I forget. It was almost childish to celebrate getting a penny off the price of a top hat, when no-one thought to look at costume shops or wedding shops where they would have been cheaper.

    I still find the Apprentice entertaining but I do challenge the veracity of the selection process. Are you Lord Sugar genuinely looking for a business partner or are you just trying to make entertaining TV?
    You are only succeeding on one of your objectives........

  • Comment number 8.

    To the writer of post #7; I would have thought it was pretty obvious that none of the candidates are allowed to make use of 3G/web facilities during the tasks.

    This means a greater need for the candidates to think on their feet, which I imagine is exactly what Lord Sugar wants to see.

    We can all compare prices using the internet, but far fewer can do it through on the spot negotiation.

  • Comment number 9.

    POST 7

    I'd have more of an issue with the soup-making being billed as a test of one's business acumen. It's clear that this show has absolutely nothing to do with business and the truth is i don't think Lord Sugar (is it just me but does his new title make him sound like a pimp from San Francisco?) cares who wins The Apprentice, as long as it raises his profile. He's done pretty well out of it, i can assure you. I'm just gobsmacked that so many people in management roles earning very good money apply to be on the programme. They believe they'll learn valuable business lessons and come out of it with an entrepreneurial spirit and a job to rival all others. In reality they g on television, get laughed at for a few months and earn a job as one of Lord Sugar's San Francisco employees. Great for a laugh, not a good career choice. I can only assume nearly all the candidates buttered up their C.V's a hell of a lot.

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