Katie, 27, gave birth to identical triplets Tommy, Joshua and Eddie last year. She shares her story and talks about the challenges of being a mum-of-four.
Being pregnant with triplets
The sonographer at our 12 week scan said they were detecting three heart beats. To be honest, I was absolutely terrified. Iâd never even heard of anyone having had triplets, let alone considered it could happen to us. We already had Jacob, who at that point was four years old. I cried and got a little bit hysterical, they had to ask me if it was ok to carry on. My partner Rob was completely silent, and heâd turned as white as a sheet.
We went for a follow-up scan at Liverpool Womenâs Hospital later on. The doctor said: âIâm just going to say it now, Iâve never seen this kind of pregnancy. Itâs likely that the team in Wrexham have probably got it wrong.â He didnât really talk much, but eventually he confirmed that I was having triplets. He turned to me and said: âI canât believe it. Iâve never ever seen this kind of pregnancy, Iâve only ever researched it.â
Giving birth to triplets
They managed to fit 33 people into this tiny room for the birth. Each baby needed to have a team of people to deliver them. They were giving me magnesium to make sure the babiesâ brains were protected during labour. They gave me an epidural but I begged the doctors not to knock me out as it wasn't what I wanted. The surgeon was lovely and allowed that. It was all really scary, but they made me feel absolutely like they knew what they were doing.
My only regret is not videoing the birth because everybody in the room cheered and clapped. The babies came out a minute apart and I felt so euphoric after all that stress. Everyone was so happy, patting me on the head and telling me the boys were fine. I saw the triplets briefly before they put each of them in their cot, made sure they were ok and then whisked them away for tests.
Getting organised with four children
Iâm not really an organised person. I can be a bit chaotic, so I had to teach myself to be organised when it came to sleeping and feeding schedules. Having triplets really forces you to think about how to plan your time. I did a lot of research: I spoke to every paediatrician I could. Nowadays I am military when it comes to naps and sleeping.
With our first-born Jacob, we rocked him to sleep every day. It would get to a point where he would be 9 months old (and quite heavy) and weâd be spending an hour rocking him to sleep. We were not having it the same way with the triplets. From day one Iâve always put the boys down awake for naps or bedtime. That was the only way it was going to work.
I know for a fact that my babies feel loved - I hug them and kiss them all the time. Now that we have a clear sleep and feeding schedule we actually have time to do other things. Because the boys are so used to their routine now, they never really cry. When thereâs a whinge or they start to get a bit clumsier, I know itâs nap time. I think babies need that stability; the safety of knowing whatâs coming next.
Relationships and sleep deprivation
The best advice I was given is that you cannot make any rash decisions about your relationship in the first year of having kids. Sleep deprivation and sheer exhaustion, even with one baby, let alone four, mean that youâre obviously going to be rowing more â itâs completely normal. We were just so much more exhausted and there were definitely points where we were taking it out on each other. You do get through it though, and as soon as you start sleeping you become a bit more rational. Thatâs the thing I would like people to know - you will sleep again!
The cost of having triplets
When we first found out we were having triplets, we thought âhow are we going to afford everything?â We did have to adjust our finances somewhat. Iâve become brilliant at setting money aside, as itâs not cheap having four boys, but weâve got a brilliant support network around us. People were extremely generous. My best friend gave me bags full of clothes, baby wipes, bibs, and muslin cloths.
Robâs best mate came to the hospital after theyâd been born and gifted us some money in an envelope for each of the boys. He said to us, âI know itâs expensive and I didnât know what to give you.â Our local pub did a fundraiser for us when they found out about the triplets being born, and people even dropped off wipes and nappies on our doorstep. Itâs been brilliant seeing how kind and generous people can be.
How to balance the needs of a family with triplets
We went out of our way to keep our eldest son Jacob involved with his brothers. We never pushed them on him and after a while he started asking to hold them. The bond between Jacob and the triplets is just amazing. Sometimes when theyâre all chirping and shouting for their dinner he will say: âMum, theyâre doing my head in,â and I tell him he can go chill out in his bedroom if he wants some space. He doesnât have to sit there and listen to them if he doesnât feel like it. Crying triplets can be stressful enough for adults, so I canât expect a five-year-old to find it easy.
I try not to expect too much from him. He is absolutely brilliant and I am so proud of him, I really couldnât have asked for more from him.
Katie's tips
- Surround yourself with positive people
At the beginning we got a lot of support from grandparents who rallied round. They said âweâll take Jacob for a bitâ or âweâll watch the babiesâ whenever they could. Having positive support makes a massive difference.
- Do your research
Speak to medical professionals and get advice if youâre looking to implement a routine. I spoke to everyone I could find and asked loads of questions.
- Be kind to yourself
When I was in hospital I would forget to take my painkillers and rest because I was so focussed on everything that was going on. Iâd say donât forget to take your painkillers, go for a long shower, make sure you stay hydrated and prioritise rest.
For more information and support about raising twins, triplets and multiples check out .
