Tired parents: How to deal with being exhausted and too tired to play with your baby

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They might be little, but children have a massive amount of energy.

Which is lovely. Except for the times when you’re absolutely knackered from work/ no sleep/ being a parent (or even all three). Or when you’re stressed, which is probably the majority of the time.

So what are you meant to do when you're too tired to play with baby?

Janet Cooper, Speech and Language Therapist and Early Communications Lead at Stoke Speaks Out says: “Don’t feel guilty about feeling burnt out. We all feel like this at times and it’s OK to take your foot off the pedal now and again. As well as being a parent you’ve got your job, and your daily chores: these things don’t go away just because you’ve got children. And children don’t always fit in with your energy patterns.”

Luckily there are ways to keep your child happy and amused that don’t require a load of energy from you, says Janet.

You need to be physically and emotionally present but there are lots of games you can play that are less energetic and that will still keep your baby or child entertained.

If you're thinking "I don't have the energy to play with my baby", there are still plenty of exciting activities you can do with your child.

Child holding plastic brick up to ear of her dad. — Image caption,
If you're lacking energy, there are still plenty of exciting activities you can do with your child.

If you are caring for a newborn...

Your baby isn’t old enough to play on their own. But for those times when you’re exhausted, there is a low-energy solution.

“You don’t need to be playing, dancing or singing all the time," says Janet. "Your child will just want you in sight and get reassurance from your voice. You can talk about anything and everything. Get down on your baby’s level so they can feel your proximity and safety being there.”

Low energy activities for tired parents

Try lying next to each other on the floor for some one-to-one time
Blow some bubbles for them
Having a cuddle is great for a young baby's development

If your baby is 12-18 months...

Your little one is likely to be on the move, so help them use up that energy by singing some of their favourite songs. “Singing releases serotonin which is a ‘feel-good factor' hormone,” says Janet.

Sit on the floor and sing, and if you need some inspiration, check out the Tiny Happy People collection of nursery rhymes and songs.

And bear in mind your baby might be feeling sleepy, too.

“Parents can miss the cues of their child being tired," says Janet. “If they’re being grouchy or demanding more attention it’s often because they’re tired. So instead of trying to think of new games, it might be better to think of ways to give them some downtime, like snuggling up with a book.”

More activities for exhausted parents

Let your toddler explore the objects around the room and help their language by describing what they are
Why not pretend to put Teddy to bed? You might be able to catch a few seconds a sleep as well!
Lullabies can lower your babies heart rate and calm them down

Toddler sat on floor doing nursery rhyme actions. — Image caption,
Young children love nursery rhymes and doing the actions.

If your toddler is 18-24 months...

Your toddler is developing a sense of independence. So why not help them develop this, especially on those days when you’re feeling exhausted.

Janet says: “Puzzles, shape sorters and posting games are all great activities. Give your child a choice of which one to do. You can get them started by putting one or two pieces in, and then get them to complete the task. You’ve focused their attention on the task and you can help them if and when they get stuck.”

If you’ve got music on, you can take singing together to the next level by getting your toddler to be the entertainer. “Even little toddlers can perform for you," says Janet. “Help them dress up then they can do a little show by doing the actions to Dingle Dangle Scarecrow or another of their favourite songs.”

Activity ideas when you're struggling with lack of sleep

In need of a sit down? Why not play the shopping game and take the role of the shopkeeper?
Playing with sock puppets is an great activity that you can also do sitting or lying down
If you've got loads of chores to do, why not get your child involved?

If your child is 2-3 years old...

One of your child’s favourite games at this age is likely to be pretend play. And this is a great activity to encourage when you’re tired. “With pretend play you can let your child take the lead. You might have to get them started and give them focus but then you can be more passive in that play.”

When they’ve had enough, grab a book and get comfy on the sofa. Pick a book that’s got a nice rhythm to it, like the Julia Donaldson books. If you’re too tired to read, you could listen to an audiobook with your child. “It’s not as powerful as sharing the book together but if you’re tired and stressed, playing that book and sitting alongside your child listening is a nice activity,” says Janet.

Activity inspiration to cope with exhaustion

Your child will love having a teddy bear’s picnic
Have a sit down with your child and try making faces at one another - this can help them learn about emotions
Ripping up paper is a fun way to help your child develop their hand-eye coordination.

Mum and daughter sat on sofa looking at each other. — Image caption,
Pretend play is a great chance for your child to take the lead and use their imagination.

If your child is 3-4 years old...

You might not have the energy to play. But you can still help your child find ways to entertain themselves.

“If you keep saying ‘no’ or ‘in a second’, that will just escalate your child’s behaviour," says Janet.

Instead think of ways to involve yourself in a game but where you don’t have to use loads of energy.

“Help your child get started in their activity and then let them play," says Janet. “At this age, your child can often just hold you in mind. They know you’re there and feel secure even when you’re out of sight.”

A couple of ideas for when you're too tired to think

Why not try some sleep time games like sleeping lions to keep your child entertained?
Build a cosy corner for your child to play in
Try a memory game together - can your child tell you about something you did earlier in the week?

If your child is 4-5 years old...

Your child loves challenges. So why not set them off on an indoor treasure hunt?

“Think of activities that are a bit of a challenge so your child can go off and independently do something. For example, ask them to bring you five things that are red, or five things that are round," says Janet. "As the parent, you don’t need to use too much energy. Instead, you can set things up then sit back.”

Another great idea is to give your child different activities to complete and you can be the ‘judge’. This could be a throwing game using just rolled-up socks that they have to get into pots or saucepans.

And don’t forget to get your family involved. “When you’re too exhausted, you could video call granny and ask her to talk to your child," says Janet. “If you have the energy, you could visit them or just go for a walk to get a change of scenery if you’re feeling stressed.”

Entertaining an energetic 4-year-old

Drawing together is an easy activity to get your child talking
How about a simple game of I spy?
Why not have a sit down with a story book and add some special sounds?

What about screen time?

Sometimes when you're struggling with sleep deprivation and your energy levels are low, screen time seems like an easy way out. But giving your child a screen to watch can often come with parent guilt too.

How much screen time is too much? Should I be doing more?

But screen time doesn't necessarily have to be bad. We spoke to speech and language therapist Janet Cooper about how we can make a positive of time on devices.