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Is this a great irony, or a hoax? In , the band Anvil were "were formed in Toronto by Kudlow and his schoolfriend Robb Reiner".
Rob Reiner of course directed the greatest rockumentry ever - This is Spinal Tap. Are they related??
Jimlad, Paris

I'd like to propose that the 13th month be called Octember. Then maybe I'll finally get that big green kangaroo.
Iain, Sheffield

Quote of the day, from the News Channel's coverage of the rural housing market on Friday: "There's really no way to underestimate the impact of this on the economy." Which means that the rest of the report is necessarily an overestimate.
Ian Kemmish, Biggleswade, UK

From : "There are a host of (Somali) pirates, but they don't identify themselves with eye-patches and hook hands so it isn't immediately obvious that they are pirates." Quote of the day, surely!
Martin, Bristol, UK

Can we add "décolletage" (Paper Monitor, Friday) to the list of words which are only ever used by newspapers?
HB, London

People have fingered Paper Monitor as an American before, through the use of "green thumb" and other such expressions. I wasn't sure and had a letter published saying s/he may use these expressions by virtue of being a London media type. However Paper Monitor has now used "disoriented". Surely all true sons of Albion, meeja types or not, use "disorientated". I therefore have to join the "PM is American" camp.
Ken, Hornchurch, Essex

I don't understand your confusion over Cameron's straightforward idiom. I've usually seen it as "if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a cart" - it means don't worry about hypothetical scenarios that are (in the speaker's opinion) highly unlikely. Rather like "if wishes were horses". If Paper Monitor were told it was raining cats and dogs, would s/he think that domestic animals genuinely were dropping from the skies?

Mark, Reading (Your Letters, Thursday) - Kerry Katona used to be in Atomic Kitten (think bad, bad cover of the Bangles' Eternal Flame), she then left because she fell head over heels with one of Westlife, popped out a couple of kids, got big breasts and made a lot of noise when her Westlife husband was linked to Aussie songstress Delta Goodrem (she who used to be in Neighbours, recorded an album and then got cancer. But not Kylie). Kerry then drank lots, had lots of falling outs with her mum/foster mum, took drugs, went to rehab and is now married to a taxi driver. Oh, and spending lots of time talking about herself on MTV One. Put it down to age that I know all this. I really wish I didn't.
Molly, Dorking

The first time I heard of Kerry Katona was on the (ironically named, because, really, have you ever heard of any of the contestants?) I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Apparently she was in Atomic Kitten before that, and married one of Westlife or some other boy band. They split up and she got her revenge by continually irritating him on Iceland ads. The rest of the nation are collateral damage I'm afraid.
Louise, Surrey

Lucy (Your Letters, Wednesday), I once rang the fire station to ask for the fire safety officer, because I wanted my house to be checked for fire hazards. "Oh, he's not in, but we'll send someone 'round," the guy said. Five minutes later, a large fire engine and five burly firemen arrived. Their driver stayed in the vehicle so they could speed off in an emergency, and the rest came in to look around and drink cups of tea. Not that I'm complaining!
M Ross, Lancaster, UK

After a shaky start this morning (the cat decided to tree itself) the day is looking up as Gosford Park is on TV tonight and I scored full marks on 7 questions for the first time ever! How about publishing this letter and making it the best Friday ever...
Monitor: Now where did that reader's name go?

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