±«Óătv

Ěý

Meet Scientists One, Two and Three...

The Three Scientists are Professor Dhurkins, Professor Boggins and Professor Lurd.

They came together after responding to an advertisement in a popular science magazine, although none of them is quite sure who put the advert in. They work together in a small lab space in the UK, having obtained funds from various organisations around the world, although some of the sources of these funds are being investigated by a number of national and international legal bodies.

Their remit is to know the unknowable, discover the undiscoverable and possibilicise the impossible, hence their experiments often enter strange realms of matter transportation, magic, time travel and miniaturisation. No concept is too outlandish, no invention too brain-melty, no potion too risky to swallow. The Three Scientists are pushing the envelopes of experience and thinking outside the boxes of rationality. This is science as you’ve never seen it.

This is Three Scientists.

Professor Dhurkins

Professor Dhurkins has been working in the field of robotics, immunology and plant psychology for fifteen years, having won a scholarship to Hawaii Science School after writing a poem about Jupiter. He worked for five of those years at NASA, but was forced to go freelance after an incident "involving a rocket". He also attempted to put monkeys on the moon, which was frowned upon by various governments. Also, the monkeys went missing.

When not in the lab, Professor Dhurkins, a self-styled maverick, likes to ride his scooter to places of scientific interest and write poems about them. A keen badminton player, Professor Dhurkins once won a 2nd prize trophy in the 2003 NASA Badminton Championships.

For Professor Dhurkins, science is a “big wondrous game, played in space and minds, and all the humans and molecules are players, but no-one knows the rules.” It is outbursts like that which greatly annoy his fellow scientist, Professor Lurd, although Professor Dhurkins is blissfully unaware that his gung-ho approach to their profession is frowned upon in such a way.

Did you know? Professor Dhurkins only eats ice cream.

Professor Boggins

Ěý

A child prodigy, Professor Boggins completed her A Levels at age 7, and was the youngest entrant to Cambridge University at age 9. By the age of 15, she had two 1sts from the university (one in biochemical manufacturing, the other in drama) but was injured in an experiment, and as a result was without the use of the back of her head for three years.

The successful recipient of a back-of-head transplant, Professor Boggins went out into the world to pursue her dreams of being a prominent scientist, easily finding a job within the UK government’s agricultural science sector, but the lasting effects of the damage to the back of her head were not known at that time, and when a three year study into the effects of GM carrots revealed that she’d been working all that time on a "hover-bed" she lost her job at once.

Happily ensconced in the lab with Professors Dhurkins and Lurd, Professor Boggins has resigned herself to the fact that she’s becoming technically stupider by the day. This hasn’t thwarted her ambitions in the slightest – in fact, of all three scientists she’s arguably the least lazy, with Professor Dhurkins often admitting that he won’t perform safety checks on his experiments as he finds them "tedious."

Did you know? Professor Boggins has faith in all of the major world religions.

Professor Lurd

Ěý

The eldest and most revered of the Three Scientists, Professor Lurd has worked in the field for thirty years (although three of those years were spent trapped in a cave, living off a diet of bat guana and stalactite water). Having apprenticed Einstein when he was a small boy (or so he claims), Professor Lurd went into the lucrative field of military science, taking great pride in developing bigger and better bombs, and what he described once in The Scientific Review as a toothpaste "that could make your brain catch fire."

A promising career beckoned, and Professor Lurd was very pleased to have assisted many nations with their weaponry needs, but after an accident in which a truckload of Colonels were blown up, he was forced to go freelance, and answered the ad in the magazine he found in a bin, leading him to where he works today.

Did you know? Professor Lurd claims to have no interests outside of the field of science, and it is rumoured he sleeps in the lab. That said, he has been married three times and is the father of five children (names not known).

Previous scientific experiments:

Watch the Three Scientists construct a Time Machine.

Watch the Three Scientists' cloning experiment.