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Fraser McAlpine | 17:09 UK time, Monday, 24 September 2007

The Tiny AcornFrom tiny acorns do mighty oaks grow. Well, mighty oaks, weedy oaks, stunted oaks, saplings, shoots, squirrel poo...they ALL come from tiny acorns. The story I'm about to tell you is about the transformation of one tiny acorn, in conversation form, to something else. Whether you consider the result to be a mighty oak or a plop on the forest floor is entirely up to you.

THE TINY ACORN:
One day, I was having an IM conversation with Steve ChartBlog (formerly known as Steve P) about some of the satirical songs Tori Amos has been singing recently about modern celebrities. One of them is a very funny dig at Lindsay Lohan, and one of them is a half-sarcastic song of support for Britney Spears (YouTube is a wonderful thing, you see).

In the interests of full disclosure I've included the actual conversation as it happened. It might be useful to know that Steve was born in Cornwall and raised in Kent, and I live in Cornwall now.

Cornwall, Devon and KentSteve Perkins says: Tori's at it again...[puts in link]
Fraser McAlpine says: She lives in Cornwall, y'know
Steve Perkins says: I believe I do know! All the best people are connected to Cornwall in some way.
Fraser McAlpine says: I do believe this to be true
Steve Perkins says: But you try to ignore Joss Stone, right?
Fraser McAlpine says: DEVON. SHE'S FROM DEVON
Steve Perkins says: Hee.
Fraser McAlpine says: Actually she was born in Kent. She's one of YOURS.
Steve Perkins says: No! I wasn't born in Kent, I'm not taking responsibility for her. I'm Cornish. She left Kent long before I had anything to do with it.
Steve Perkins says: I smell a new parlour game here. 10,000 Degrees of Joss Stone, where everyone tries to be as far removed from her as possible.
Fraser McAlpine says: haha!
Steve Perkins says: Maybe there's a blog idea in that? Popstar-related parlour games? I dunno.

BOOM! TINY ACORN IS TRANSFORMED!

We then spent the next half-hour trying to come up with as many pop party games as possible. Here's the best ones...you REALLY don't want to see the worst.

NOTE: Any of these would be perfect for, say Radio 1's 40 birthday celebrations...

===================================

Fiddy In The Muddle: You have one 'Fiddy' and you have to ask him a series of easy questions - his name, the time, his favourite colour, until he gets confused and lashes out.

Pete DohertyPin The Stale On The Doherty: One of you hides, the rest of you try and find him by following the trail of drug cack, blood and chaos the hider has left behind. Once found, the 'Pete' has to act like he wasn't playing the game all along, and look quite wounded by the whole ordeal. They then suddenly run off and hide again, cackling. The game ends when everyone else loses interest and wanders off.

I Have Never, where you get all the tabloids for the past week and you have to drink if you did anything that Amy Winehouse is accused of having done.

Murder On The Dark Floor: Sophie Ellis Bextor winks at you and you faint.

Blond Man's Buff: sit around and argue who's fittest out of Eminem, Orlando Bloom (Lord Of The Rings version), Lee Ryan, David Beckham, and Sting.

see also: Bland Man's Bluff - you take it in turns to pretend to be Shayne Ward. Most convincing 'Shayne' wins a blank CD.

see also: Brand Man's Guff - One of you is P Diddy, and you have to talk about yourself in the third person, as if you are a global conglomerate on a par with Coca Cola, for as long as possible. Extra points are awarded for deviation, repetition, and repetition.

Musical Chairs - Just like normal musical chairs, except one of you is Amy Lee and the rest of you are Evanescence, and Amy always wins.

see also: Musical Chores: Five chairs in a row, one Snow Patrol album on the stereo. Last one to leave the room wins.

see also: Musical Spares: Five people sitting on chairs in a circle, facing out. A boyband is chosen. Each person has to name one member of the band in turn. The last two in the circle will forget one of the least important members, and the first to do so will be 'out'. Round two is the same with a four-piece indie band (the drummer will be most people's undoing), round three with a female R&B trio, round four with any singer Fedde Le Grand has worked with, and round five is where the last person in the game has to name any winner of the X-Factor, Pop Idol or Fame Academy, or lose the game.

Party Games!

Moronopoly: you sit around and come up with the definitive list of the best '50 Best...' TV shows EVER.

Cluebo: board game where you sit around and try to work out who killed Britney Spears's career. Was it Kevin Federline in the bedroom with the spermatoza? Yes or yes?

Kanyequences, where you sit around with a bit of paper and you write down Kanye West's name at the top and as you fold it down everyone adds a line about what he said in a fit of rage after an awards ceremony?

Ker-PunkKer-Punk, where you set a game of Ker-Plunk up, and then knock it over and giggle as if you are very pleased with yourself.

Trivial Hirsuit : From a long list of musical stars, your job is to rank their beards in order of functionality. Least functional (on any level, including 'pleasant to look at') wins. Last year's winner was Madonna.

Arse The Parcel: One of you is 'Mariah', and gets handed around from person to person in as nice, helpful and friendly a way as possible. Your job is to make as many people cry by screaming about how incredibly rude they are to allow you to be treated in such a cavalier fashion.

===================================

Any more for any more? You know what to do...

Comments

  1. At 08:30 PM on 24 Sep 2007, wrote:

    great idea :) i love all the stuff like this, they make me chuckle

  2. At 11:02 PM on 24 Sep 2007, kayla-la-la wrote:

    omg! that was too funny!
    why aren't canadian blogs this funny?!?!
    and most ppl here haven't heard of mcfly...=( any way yeah really funny=p

  3. At 06:27 PM on 25 Sep 2007, Kimberley wrote:

    Great job! This is hilarious. And there's no way I could have figured out what was coming in this blog just by reading the title, so good job with that too!

    I might get through at least 2 rounds of Musical Spares (it'll be the r n' b groups that'd get me...I don't know them well). I also can only name one Pop Idol. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?!?

    And I really want to try the last game. With some practice I could be really good. hehehe :)

  4. At 06:16 PM on 30 Sep 2007, wrote:

    happy brithday to all radio one number1 the big one from gez and helen

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