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How To Destroy...Shakira

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Fraser McAlpine | 16:10 UK time, Tuesday, 26 June 2007

How To Destroy Shakira

NOTE: Babies, freakishly strong little beggars, aren't they? And cherubs like that little fella are even MORE so. It must be all that harp-lifting, really builds up the muscles. Now, you and I both know that ripping Shakira's head off is a) very hard to do and b) A REALLY BAD IDEA. But, should you ever find yourself with a baby in one hand, an apple in the other, and Shakira advancing on you in a threatening manner, well, give it a try.

SECOND NOTE: Sorry for all the blood. It's a bit much, isn't it? Let's pretend it's jam, shall we?

Comments

  1. At 12:59 PM on 27 Jun 2007, kerry wrote:

    why do people want to kill you for you asre a good singer and dancer same people say you are a slag but i don't think so??

    [Me? No, definitely not. - Fraser]

  2. At 06:09 PM on 27 Jun 2007, Eve wrote:

    Urggghhh. I'm very squeamish, you know. Nice jam idea though.

  3. At 09:01 PM on 27 Jun 2007, Jamesy wrote:

    Noooooo! Shakira! How could you?! :P

    [Weren't me guv, blame that little nipper... - Fraser]

  4. At 09:38 AM on 18 Jul 2007, Mark Haworth wrote:

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  5. At 05:52 PM on 19 Jul 2007, Laura wrote:

    thank you so much for this!
    i've always hated shakira.
    she said she'd 'rather sing to
    a bunch of pigs than jews'.
    she deserves to be destroyed.
    HAHAHA!

  6. At 06:21 PM on 21 Jul 2007, ~Rachel~ wrote:

    I've just realised why this is so implausible: that cherub isn't REAL...he hasn't got WINGS - so how could he have got up into that tree? It's all a fraud, I tell you!!!

  7. At 01:09 PM on 25 Jul 2007, wrote:

    Ewwwwwww! Thats grose but cool

    she must have deserved it lol

    Lvoo.
    Clo
    xXx

  8. At 09:56 PM on 14 Aug 2007, char wrote:

    i like ur thinking, wish id thoght of that ,lol

  9. At 08:33 PM on 25 Sep 2007, Lizzy wrote:

    Lol I'm one of the biggest fans of her music and I think she's one of the most amazing human's out there but this is pretty humorous I have to say. The stuff she said about the Jews has long been confirmed as not true, I can't believe people are still gullible enough to believe that. xx

  10. At 06:18 PM on 09 Oct 2007, wrote:

    This is selfish! How can someone do that to dear Shakira! No one deserves to be destroyed accsept she who did this! Its sooooo freaked! Shakira do soo much for everyone should have it good! More than you ever have done!!!!!

    F*** you!!!!!! ITS YOU WHO DESERVE TO BE DESTROYED!!!!
    Viva Shakira

  11. At 03:01 AM on 25 Oct 2007, wrote:

    This is racist.

    [Please explain how. - Fraser]

  12. At 08:34 AM on 08 Dec 2007, 12-18 wrote:

    haters! get a life!

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