The Robbie Issue...
Simon Cowell, a man who is not known for his ability to offer kind words of advice to people when they're having a hard time, has been telling the press that he has very little sympathy for either Britney Spears or Robbie Williams, because their lives are hardly the toughest in the world.
His exact quote is this: "I mean Britney is not working in a coal mine is she? You are whisked to the studio in a very large limo, you are flown around in private jet, everyone will agree with you and physically making an album is a doddle."
Leaving aside the fact that Britney's problems don't seem to be even remotely linked to an exhausting schedule at the recording studio (what year are you in, Simon? 1999?), look, here's the video to Robbie's latest song, 'She's Madonna'. The video was filmed before he went into rehab (is it just me, or does that word automatically trigger a mental loop of the refrain "no, no, no" nowadays?) and is riddled with interesting clues...
It's a little close to the bone, isnit?
Put these things together with Take That's massive comeback and the sales figures for Robbie's last album 'Rudebox' (they're not disastrous, but not the level he is used to either), and it's easy to see why a lot of people have decided that it's all over for Captain Smug...Robbie, that is, not Simon Cowell.
The thing is, while he's clearly having a few problems at the moment, and his former band are even more clearly having the kind of resurrection that would put Lazarus to shame, it's not like he's been erased from pop life, is it? 
The fascinating thing about Robbie's career is that (IN! MY! OPINION!) he had been coasting on former glories for years. It wasn't so much the music - give or take some of the odd vocal ideas he tried out on songs like 'Tripping' - but you could just TELL he'd run out of stuff to say. And this is a bloke who clearly enjoys saying everything that enters his head ever.
All of which changed with the release of 'Rudebox' - not the song 'Rudebox', which was like listening to a poem based on the stuff you mutter under your breath while you're doing your Christmas shopping - but the album 'Rudebox', which contained some startlingly focussed lyrics. Some devoted to his past ('The '80s', 'The '90s'), some bleak tales from the dark heart of showbiz ('The Doctor'), and then 'She's Madonna'.
There's nothing about 'She's Madonna' which isn't brilliant. You knew nice things were going to happen when you saw that Rob had roped in legendary brainypop heroes the Pet Shop Boys, and who could fault a song which depicts the way Guy Ritchie supposedly dumped his girlfriend so he could run off and make Lord Of The Manor with Madonna? Even if the story is entirely made-up, as an idea for a song, it's GENIUS.
So, just at the point at which people (including me) are talking about how Robbie is so OVER that he'll have to go and rejoin Take That, he releases one of the best songs he's ever done, and proves once again that he's got the talent to back up that annoyingly huge mouth of his (Look at it! It's bloody MASSIVE!)...and then disappears into rehab.
Seriously, anything you or I or Simon Cowell have to say at this point is so far beyond irrelevant we might as well all hold our breath. Robbie is going to be JUST FINE, people. But he may never be this brilliant again. Enjoy it while it lasts...
Released: March 5th
(Fraser McAlpine)
Comments
The video really shows some psychological issues with Robbie. I don't know if he was making a joke of things, but it kind of seems like a call out for help. Glad he's in rehab (though we don't need any Joss Stone's making a big deal out of it at the Brits). This song is excellent, a great recovery from "Rudebox" which is by far one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Glad Robbie is going back to good music again, first good song he's released since "Feel".
How right you are about Robbie, we all have opinions about him, and to me there is nobody like him. He is absolutely brilliant.
As for all the negativity surrounding Rudebox (album) what a lot of rubbish that is, there are some great tracks on it, plus lyrics that nobody else can write. Once you are over the fact its a different Robbie, its a brilliant album and time will show how wrong people have been.
What a strange video!A sure sign that Robbie needs time away from the music business and reminiscent of the video released when he first went into rehab years ago{the name of the song eludes me,alas}.
Anyway,get well soon Robbie and let's hope you get back where you belong!
am i the only person who is disgusted that williams at th prospect of wiliams rejoining take that he shouldn't get any credit and sponge off the other boys success after slagging them for 10 years just coz his career is over and he's bitter? why can't america keep him our islands not big enough for his ego
why don't the boys listen to what there fans want we've stuck around longer than williiams ever did and we don't want him back.
feel 16 years on camping out again for tickets to see TAKE THAT i've wasted my money having to watch the robbie williams show,talk about misgudied consumer rights! williams didn't even manage an hour and a half at his own gig plus thought it was a the beautiful world tour what's he going to sing?tickets anyone?
do you think if my mum writes a letter i can join take that too? thats how he got in the band in the first place his mum wiritng to nigel, at 33 is that sweet or just plain sad???