Mongrels: Vince and Nelson answer your questions
Last week we gave you the chance to put your questions to two of our favourite foxes from Mongrels; the polite, Ben Elton-loving Nelson and the violent, foul-mouthed Vince. After a great response on the and here on the blog we selected some of the best ones for Nelson and Vince to answer. As you'd expect Vince's responses were particularly filthy and rude so if you think you may be offended...please don't read his responses!
From Chris Childs: Vince, Who keeps following you around with that machine that goes *bleep* all the time? Can hardly hear a word you're saying!
VINCE: Ah it's all some bull*bleep* ±«Óãtv thing. So now I've got some *bleep* in a tie telling me I'm not allowed to swear on TV. The 'Taste & Decency' *bleep*.
From Deejay Maximus: Nelson and Vince, What's better boggle, sex or sex whilst boggling?
NELSON: Oh crumbs, now you're asking. OK, so...on balance I would probably have to say...Boggle. For one, you can do it with anyone from ages 'eight to adult'. For two, it's quite portable so you can play it, for example, on the train. And for three, as long as you don't run out of the little jotter pads, you can pretty much keep playing it forever!
VINCE: *bleep*ing.
From Lara Ryan: Nelson, What is your idea of the perfect day?
NELSON: Ah, good question Lara. I'll say coffee and croissant in bed with the Sunday Telegraph, quick spot of antiquing, afternoon tea at Browns, sneaky crossword, cheeky nap, dinner with friends somewhere disgustingly expensive, finished off with an evening of Ben Elton-penned musical theatre!
From Stu Mc: Vince, Were you the hardest of the litter?
VINCE: Course I was. And do you know why Stu? Because when me and all my brothers and sisters were still in my mother's *bleep*...
NELSON: Womb, Vince. Technically you were in her womb.
VINCE: ...I beat the living *bleep* out of them every single day from the moment we were just tiny little spunks until the day we were born. Matter of fact, my youngest brother was so scared of me, one day he shat himself. To death.
NELSON: Benjamin Zephaniah! That's a horrible story.
VINCE: Yeah well, it's like I always say innit, "Life's a *bleep*."
From Scott Monty Field: Nelson, ever tried cat-nip? NELSON: Uh-uh. It's a slippery slope. Nelson says: "Just say no, kids!"
VINCE: ... Hold up. Did you just call Scott Monty Field a *bleep*?
NELSON: No.
VINCE: Right. In that case, may I?
NELSON: If you absolutely must.
VINCE: Alright Scott, me old *bleep*?
From R: Nelson, tell us about "The Divine Miss Vulpine"
NELSON: Oh, yes I'm glad you asked about that actually because I've had a lot of negative reaction to this among the animal community. Basically, right, I did it one time, for a laugh, for a couple of mates. Next thing you know, I'm being asked to do corporate events, private functions, hotel visits...Look, I was young, I was naïve, it was Blair's Britain! The boom years! Things were different back then! I mean, 'let he cast the first stone who hasn't dressed up as a woman and performed a private burlesque show for a lonely Taiwanese fund manager!' Right?
From L2A: Vince, if you had twenty-four hours to live and only had time to fight one famous human, who would it be and why?
VINCE: Who's that Welsh *bleep* who reads the news?
NELSON: Huw Edwards?
VINCE: Him.
NELSON: Him? Why him?!
VINCE: Dunno. Just feel like it.
NELSON: Mental. Absolutely bloody mental.
From Luge: Vince, I assume you are the fox that keeps eating my sister's chickens. Do you know that my nephew gets upset every time you do it? And also what did you do with the rabbits you horrible *bleep*?
VINCE: Yeah. It's me. I'll hold my hands up. As for your nephew, consider it a lesson in life from your lovely uncle Vince.
NELSON: Sorry, what sort of lesson?
VINCE: The sort of lesson that teaches you that all chickens are dirty scumbag *bleep*s. NELSON: Right. I'd say that probably comes under Sociology.
VINCE: As for the missing rabbits, all I'll say is this...I *bleep*ed them. Then I ate them.
NELSON: OK, that's just unhygienic. Frankly. I mean no wonder you're always catching colds.
From Rycochet: Nelson, What do you use on your fur to keep it so red and glossy? I've tried everything and I just can't get my tail to look that fabulous.
NELSON: OK Rycochet, quick tip, if it's a hot day or if you're holidaying somewhere muggy i.e. visiting a pen-pal in the South of France, simply apply a healthy squirt of good quality conditioner in the morning, then leave it in until bedtime. It'll keep your tail looking lush and full of life all day!
VINCE: My god. You don't half talk some *bleep*.
NELSON: Says you. With the split-ends.
From Joel Hopwood: Vince, Did you just call me a *bleep*?
VINCE: Yes.
NELSON: He did. I heard him. Sorry.
You can watch the next episode of Mongrels TOMORROW at 11pm.
Special thanks to Mongrels writer Jon Brown.
From Chris Childs: Vince, Who keeps following you around with that machine that goes *bleep* all the time? Can hardly hear a word you're saying!
VINCE: Ah it's all some bull*bleep* ±«Óãtv thing. So now I've got some *bleep* in a tie telling me I'm not allowed to swear on TV. The 'Taste & Decency' *bleep*.
From Deejay Maximus: Nelson and Vince, What's better boggle, sex or sex whilst boggling?
NELSON: Oh crumbs, now you're asking. OK, so...on balance I would probably have to say...Boggle. For one, you can do it with anyone from ages 'eight to adult'. For two, it's quite portable so you can play it, for example, on the train. And for three, as long as you don't run out of the little jotter pads, you can pretty much keep playing it forever!
VINCE: *bleep*ing.
From Lara Ryan: Nelson, What is your idea of the perfect day?
NELSON: Ah, good question Lara. I'll say coffee and croissant in bed with the Sunday Telegraph, quick spot of antiquing, afternoon tea at Browns, sneaky crossword, cheeky nap, dinner with friends somewhere disgustingly expensive, finished off with an evening of Ben Elton-penned musical theatre!
From Stu Mc: Vince, Were you the hardest of the litter?
VINCE: Course I was. And do you know why Stu? Because when me and all my brothers and sisters were still in my mother's *bleep*...
NELSON: Womb, Vince. Technically you were in her womb.
VINCE: ...I beat the living *bleep* out of them every single day from the moment we were just tiny little spunks until the day we were born. Matter of fact, my youngest brother was so scared of me, one day he shat himself. To death.
NELSON: Benjamin Zephaniah! That's a horrible story.
VINCE: Yeah well, it's like I always say innit, "Life's a *bleep*."
From Scott Monty Field: Nelson, ever tried cat-nip? NELSON: Uh-uh. It's a slippery slope. Nelson says: "Just say no, kids!"
VINCE: ... Hold up. Did you just call Scott Monty Field a *bleep*?
NELSON: No.
VINCE: Right. In that case, may I?
NELSON: If you absolutely must.
VINCE: Alright Scott, me old *bleep*?
From R: Nelson, tell us about "The Divine Miss Vulpine"
NELSON: Oh, yes I'm glad you asked about that actually because I've had a lot of negative reaction to this among the animal community. Basically, right, I did it one time, for a laugh, for a couple of mates. Next thing you know, I'm being asked to do corporate events, private functions, hotel visits...Look, I was young, I was naïve, it was Blair's Britain! The boom years! Things were different back then! I mean, 'let he cast the first stone who hasn't dressed up as a woman and performed a private burlesque show for a lonely Taiwanese fund manager!' Right?
From L2A: Vince, if you had twenty-four hours to live and only had time to fight one famous human, who would it be and why?
VINCE: Who's that Welsh *bleep* who reads the news?
NELSON: Huw Edwards?
VINCE: Him.
NELSON: Him? Why him?!
VINCE: Dunno. Just feel like it.
NELSON: Mental. Absolutely bloody mental.
From Luge: Vince, I assume you are the fox that keeps eating my sister's chickens. Do you know that my nephew gets upset every time you do it? And also what did you do with the rabbits you horrible *bleep*?
VINCE: Yeah. It's me. I'll hold my hands up. As for your nephew, consider it a lesson in life from your lovely uncle Vince.
NELSON: Sorry, what sort of lesson?
VINCE: The sort of lesson that teaches you that all chickens are dirty scumbag *bleep*s. NELSON: Right. I'd say that probably comes under Sociology.
VINCE: As for the missing rabbits, all I'll say is this...I *bleep*ed them. Then I ate them.
NELSON: OK, that's just unhygienic. Frankly. I mean no wonder you're always catching colds.
From Rycochet: Nelson, What do you use on your fur to keep it so red and glossy? I've tried everything and I just can't get my tail to look that fabulous.
NELSON: OK Rycochet, quick tip, if it's a hot day or if you're holidaying somewhere muggy i.e. visiting a pen-pal in the South of France, simply apply a healthy squirt of good quality conditioner in the morning, then leave it in until bedtime. It'll keep your tail looking lush and full of life all day!
VINCE: My god. You don't half talk some *bleep*.
NELSON: Says you. With the split-ends.
From Joel Hopwood: Vince, Did you just call me a *bleep*?
VINCE: Yes.
NELSON: He did. I heard him. Sorry.
You can watch the next episode of Mongrels TOMORROW at 11pm.
Special thanks to Mongrels writer Jon Brown.
Comment number 1.
At 22nd Jul 2010, Dean Lythgoe wrote:Hi Nelson and Vince my question is if you could both desrcibe each other in one short sentence, what would it be and why ? . p.s. Love your lush tail Nelson
Complain about this comment (Comment number 1)
Comment number 2.
At 22nd Jul 2010, A_Wolf wrote:Hey Nelson, Vince. Quick, cheeky question... What are your thoughts on human "Furries"? Taking into account certain vulpine species... "reputation"...
Plus, one extra for Nelson, if you'd be so kind... Have you ever considered playing for the... "Other team"?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 2)
Comment number 3.
At 23rd Jul 2010, Rocker13 wrote:Hey, You Guys are awesome, I have a question for both of you
What do you think the best way of life is?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 3)
Comment number 4.
At 23rd Jul 2010, Rocker13 wrote:Hey I have a Question for Nelson
Nelson - whats the most exiting thing you've done?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 4)
Comment number 5.
At 23rd Jul 2010, Tokky Foxena wrote:Hi Vince; hi Nelson. Since you've both had some parenting experience i was wondering if you could help me. Last christmas i adopted a young fox cub named Malcolm and he keeps biting my friend, humping all my plushies, and updating my twitter and facebook status with rude comments when im not looking.
Can you both give me some parenting advice?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 5)
Comment number 6.
At 23rd Jul 2010, Kate and Hannah wrote:Hey Nelson just wondering, would you consider trying to get on Spring Watch again since they set you up last time? XD And Vince or/and Nelson...do you own a Nintendo Wii? If you do what do you play on it?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 6)
Comment number 7.
At 26th Jul 2010, mongrel94 wrote:Hi Nelson and Vince, Love both of you but the question i am asking is for both.
Nelson: Would you ever try to become Vince, and be very hardcore?
Vince: Would you ever try to become Nelson, and be a gentleman?
Are you two brothers?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 7)
Comment number 8.
At 7th Aug 2010, Captain-Pants wrote:Hello blockheads,What do you two think of Crufts?
ps, Marion? Jesus! he he.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 8)
Comment number 9.
At 12th Aug 2010, duncalf59 wrote:vince:if you were allowed how would you kill tourtre or kidnap nelson
Complain about this comment (Comment number 9)
Comment number 10.
At 13th Aug 2010, jakedm wrote:Is there going to be another series of MONGRELS!!!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 10)
Comment number 11.
At 15th Aug 2010, Sarah wrote:Mongrels is by far the best thing on tv by a mile and I have been forcing everyone I know to watch it!! Please please let's have another series and soon!!!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 11)
Comment number 12.
At 29th Aug 2010, some wierd bloke wrote:vince how did your cubs tast?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 12)
Comment number 13.
At 29th Aug 2010, some wierd bloke wrote:dame i was to late for this cors my bleep up email adres love the show best tusday night ever shame is of i player now
Complain about this comment (Comment number 13)
Comment number 14.
At 8th Sep 2010, Rocker13 wrote:Vince Would you ever get a swear jar and use it?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 14)
Comment number 15.
At 22nd Sep 2010, some wierd bloke wrote:thats a good ideer he will make a lot of dosh
Complain about this comment (Comment number 15)
Comment number 16.
At 24th Sep 2010, Rocker13 wrote:actually i meant all the money going to Nelson
Complain about this comment (Comment number 16)
Comment number 17.
At 24th Sep 2010, Rocker13 wrote:what do you think of that Vince?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 17)
Comment number 18.
At 24th Sep 2010, Rocker13 wrote:Vince your thoughts on censorship
Complain about this comment (Comment number 18)
Comment number 19.
At 28th Sep 2010, Rocker13 wrote:best live song you listen to?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 19)
Comment number 20.
At 28th Sep 2010, Rocker13 wrote:to both of you
Complain about this comment (Comment number 20)