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Everyone gets angry sometimes. However, no-one really enjoys getting angry. Anger is a difficult emotion to manage. When we are angry, we can act differently. We get frustrated. We shout and cry. We say things we don’t mean to say and sometimes even hit out at people. None of these things are likely to make us feel happy inside and it usually leads to some kind of conflict with somebody else.

Conflict is a word we use to describe disagreements between people that aren’t sorted out happily.

When you have an argument with someone else you can react in lots of different ways. You can shout, scream, huff, pull a face, call people names or push and hit each other. None of these actions help to sort the problem out. In fact, they usually lead to bigger rows and more anger. It’s very easy for arguments to get out of control when you are angry, because you aren’t able to manage your emotions.

When something happens that makes you angry and causes conflict with someone else, it is important to try to take some time to think. Ask yourself these questions. Why am I angry? Am I sure the other person is at fault? Is there something else I could do instead of arguing? Will I feel good if I fight with someone else?

It’s not easy to think things through when you are angry so it’s often a good idea to walk away and be by yourself for a while. This helps you cool off and be calm. If you can’t leave the situation try counting to 10 slowly to stop yourself reacting badly to something someone else has said or done. If you are very upset and there is a grown-up in charge, talk to them and express how you are feeling. Often, when we express our feelings in this way, we get less angry about things.

Usually, when children are fighting with each other, both people have said or done something to cause it. It really helps if you can think about anything you may have done to upset the other person. Try to think of a way to make things better. Don’t shout. Use kind words and friendly voices. It always helps if you say sorry. Even if you aren’t sure what you have done to upset someone, you can say you are sorry to have upset them!

Conflict often happens because we are being selfish. We are so concerned with doing what we want and getting our own way, that we forget about other peoples’ feelings. The best way to avoid conflict is to think about how others are feeling and try to change your behaviour so that you are putting other people first. This means sharing and taking turns. It means not demanding things and not being mean about other people. Remember, no-one’s perfect. Including you!