During the month of Ramadan, Muslims fast during the daytime. No food or drink from dawn to sunset.
However, if you are pregnant or a new mother, you don’t have to fast during Ramadan. But if you don't fast, how do you still feel connected during this time?
What’s it like for new parents, observing fasts or supporting others during fasting, navigating social events and busy lives all while raising a little one?
We’ve spoken to parents about how they observe Ramadan - the challenges they face and their top tips for new parents - as they begin fasting.
Aseel, mum to Ilias
What was the best bit about having a little one and doing Ramadan for the first time?
Having so much to show your child! Ilias was only 7 months at the time and I loved bringing out the really fun aspects like decorations and all the build-up to Eid. It’s like you are a child again! It also pushed me, as a parent, to be the best version of myself I could be.
You chose not to fast as you were breastfeeding, how did this feel?
Initially, I felt disconnected. Obviously, fasting is a big part of Ramadan and not being able to was hard.
How did you try and overcome this feeling?
I felt motivated as a new parent. I’m a great believer in starting early with children. They take a lot in, even at a really young age.
I made Ramadan as visually appealing as I could for Ilias. Normally Ramadan is a time for us inwardly, a spiritual time of change. This time we made a big deal of showing it outwardly too.
We have a special rug that only comes out at Ramadan. We have fairy lights and balloons up, Qurans out and a big Ramadan banner, as well as decorations.
What are your tips for maintaining energy levels during Ramadan?
1. Plan in advance – thinking about multiple tasks is draining.
2. Manage expectations – I had much less energy during Ramadan with a little one. I divided the week into 4 easy meals, 1 special meal and 1 take away. Even with the special meal I took all the short cuts I could.
3. Nap!
4. Work as a tag team – my husband and I would take turns looking after Ilias
What did you find most challenging about Ramadan?
I didn’t feel connected or able to devote myself in the same way. I wasn’t fasting and I felt tired as Ilias was waking up all the time. Normally, the food we make in Ramadan is levelled up, but I didn’t manage that last Ramadan and the fact I couldn’t see people was probably the hardest part.
I tried to focus on the most important aspects of Ramadan – it became more about connectedness, and how my little one is making sense of the world around him through me. How kind and compassionate you are comes out in your interactions and I’m mindful of that.
How are you planning on involving him now he is older?
I plan to give him jobs to help him feel included and part of things, like putting out the prayer mats, and getting involved with making the Ramadan banner.
What are your favourite Ramadan activities to do with your children now they are older?
1. Making an advent calendar. Most of the shop bought ones are not age appropriate.
2. Making Ramadan and Eid banners - hand print time!
3. Getting little ones involved in messy play - homemade Eid decorations are the best.
4. Getting creative with Ramadan and Eid cards.
Maymuna, mum to Hafsa
What was Ramadan like for you as a pregnant mum?
At 20 weeks pregnant, I had experienced a lot of sickness and was worried about the baby being a certain weight, so I knew I wasn’t going to fast.
It made me apprehensive as I felt like I wouldn’t be doing Ramadan properly when everyone else in the household was fasting. But it turned out to be the best Ramadan ever!
Because I wasn’t fasting or working, I could focus on worshipping and my spirituality. I really reconnected with my salah (daily prayers) and I’ve managed to keep hold of that deeper spiritual connection.
What was the best bit of having a little one and doing Ramadan for the first time?
When I was pregnant going into Ramadan, she was moving around loads, and I was so excited for her to be here and thinking about what we were going to call her.
Now, she just makes the days go by so quickly and is always changing and developing. I'm looking forward to seeing those milestones during Ramadan. I'm really excited for her to do Eid, be with the family and buy her some nice presents.
Did Ramadan affect your relationship with Hafsa?
I can’t dictate if religion is important to her - I wouldn’t force that on her.
But I want her to see how I do things. It’s important to me that she could hear me reading Quran even though she was still in my tummy.
This time round, I want her to see me praying and join in with things like eating together at the end of the fast.
What are your top tips for pregnant mums?
Listen to your baby and your body, don’t force it. There are other ways to partake in Ramadan aside from fasting – focus on your reflection, memorisation, recitation.
Are you planning on fasting this year?
I do plan on fasting, but I intend to be flexible because I am still nursing. If I have to stop, I have to stop, like if it affects my milk supply.
What advice do you have for other parents ahead of Ramadan this year?
I am going to try to go about my day with patience for myself and my baby.
My advice is not to beat yourself up if you make a mistake or don’t meet your expectations. It would be nice to feed your baby at the time you are having iftar (meal after fasting), but if you can’t it doesn’t matter. Just go with the flow.
Lamia and Khalil, mum and dad to Xena and Keean
What was Ramadan like for you as a new parent?
I chose not to fast as breastfeeding took such a heavy toll on me.
Not fasting felt very strange. It didn’t really feel like Ramadan.
Normally I get a huge sense of spirituality. Ramadan, for me personally, is about reconnecting with my faith, but since having Xena I have just been exhausted. My husband, Khalil, has been exhausted too.
What are your top tips for new mums doing Ramadan for the first time?
Try not to be hard on yourself. If there are things you can’t do, just don’t do them.
Ask for help if you need it. There is a lot of pressure for new mums to bounce back, including the expectation of special meals in Ramadan.
Don’t put that on yourself.
What did you find most challenging about Ramadan?
Being on top of snacks and meals for the kids and not tasting as you go!
Also, sticking to their schedule, mealtimes and bedtimes and not enforcing different times on them.
It helps that my husband is very supportive. There are no expectations to do anything. I can just rest when I need to.
Khalil, what are your top tips for new dads doing Ramadan for the first time?
As a dad you have responsibilities, and you feel like you have to meet those demands. But if you are finding it difficult to cope, ask for help, re-evaluate and manage your expectations.
What activities are you planning with the kids this Ramadan?
We are going to make an advent calendar with sweets, little gifts and activities for each of the days.
What are you most looking forward to this Ramadan?
Making Xena and Keean excited about Ramadan! I want them to have that childlike excitement and wonder.
They will love the meals, the fairy lights and the excitement, and a feel-good end to each day. I also want to read the Quran, so they can hear it and play nasheeds (Arabic songs) in the evening for them.
