As childrenâs emotions develop, there are bound to be ups and downs for both them and you as a parent.
What makes it difficult is that they take time to be able to both understand and express clearly how they are feeling.
So how can you help your child understand their emotions?
From your baby's earliest days, it's hard to tell what they're feeling. Was that a happy smile, or was that them doing a poo? Is this face delighted, worried, or just confused? A child's emotional development can feel like a roller coaster, for them and for you.
But here's what to expect.
By sixteen months they're starting to work out how they feel, using facial expressions to show emotions like excited or worried. And they might be getting frustrated that they don't have all the words to tell you how they feel.
Around 2 to 3, they're starting to name some of the feelings, such as "sad", "scared",or the loveliest one - "happy"!
Between two and a half and four, they're tuning in to their own feelings, and beginning to notice other people's too.
So how can you help your kid express their emotions and cope with the ups and downs?
Help them label their feelings. It's great draw or make faces together, showing feelings like happy, sad, and angry.
Pretend play can also help explain emotions. Yes! Daddy's happy the superhero saved him.
Chat to them regularly about their feelings and other people's feelings, not just when there's a problem.
Talk about times they've felt excited, surprised, or left out.
Being open and sharing feelings as a family sets a great example. Make it clear that all feelings are OK⊠But not all behaviour is. Tell your child what you are feeling, and what you're gonna do about it. I'm feeling sad. So I'm gonna play superheroes, which makes me happy! So how are you feeling now? Yeah!! We parents all feel like that sometimes.
How do children come to understand their feelings?
Children usually start to work out how they feel by around 16 months. By this time, they might use facial expressions to show emotions and they might be getting frustrated when they donât have all the words to tell you how they feel, which can lead to tantrums.
By the time they are between the ages of 2 and 3 years old, theyâre starting to name some of their feelings - such as âsadâ, âscaredâ or âhappyâ.
Later on, between the ages of 2 and 4, they begin to really tune into their own feelings and notice similar feelings in other people around them.
Tips for helping children understand emotions
1. Help them to label feelings.
It can be really useful to draw or make faces together, showing them feelings like âhappyâ, âsadâ and âangryâ.
You can also use pretend play as a way to help explain emotions to them â tell them how teddy feels when he is poured a cup of tea or how daddy feels when the superhero saves him.
2. Chat about feelings throughout their day.
Chat to them regularly about feelings, whether itâs theirs or the people around them
Talk to them about a range of feelings, not just when thereâs a problem. Talk about times they feel excited, surprised or left out.
3. Set a good example.
Try to be open and share feelings as a family.
Make it clear that all feelings are OK, but not all behaviours are.
Tell your child how you are feeling and what you are going to do about it.
Created with help from child psychologist Dr Claire Halsey and child development researcher Dr Michelle Lowe.
