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Last night down the pier I was out for a walk,
When Tony appeared he wanted to talk,
Then he comes out with the line “Jane I’ve a question to ask,
The Lassies Reply – it’s not a big task.

Beth’ll be in the kitchen cleaning the pots,
Say that you’ll do it, I know your ticket you’ve bought”
Now mood swings are caused by questions like these,
But I know the dear man was only trying to please”

So the Lassies reply I’ve been asked to do,
I’d better get on before their even more fou.

Burns said

A man’s a man for a’ that, for a’ that, ‘n’ a’ that.
But there’s mony a man for a that – upstanding the rogue and a that.

There’s some who are fou o love divine, there’s some are fou o brandy,
The first are the type we lassies like – the others are just too randy!

See social life and glee sit doon, all joyous and unthinking, Till quite transmogrif’d, they’re grown – debauchery and drinking.

Nae need to ask we jobs they like – they’re away wi the morning lark,
But lassies how mony of us here – have had tae build “flat pack”.

Our guid men I’m selling short and that’s not my true intention,
Why they’re great at “doing stuff” sure they’re fathers of invention.
They put up with our moods, hair dos, our diet attempts,
Why these men that we know are really fine gents.

So Ladies – please stand – to our sons, husbands, and dads.
I’ll finish this task with the toast
“To The Lads”