Can I be a feminist with room for improvement?
Writer Stefanie Preissner is wrestling with how to be a good feminist.
Stefanie Preissner is a best-selling author, screenwriter and playwright and the creator of Irelandâs hit TV series âCanât Cope Wonât Copeâ. On The Conversation in Dublin she makes her debut performance of her spoken word piece commissioned by the ±«Óătv, 'Subliminal Women'.
This is an extract of a programme where leading figures from Ireland including activist Ailbhe Smyth, Hockey Star Nicci Daly and broadcaster Dil Wickremasinghe tackle questions about life after the referendums for women in Ireland. Thereâs anger, laughter and life tips on how to say no. Click on âThe Conversation in Dublinâ to hear more.
Subliminal Women
By Stefanie Preissner
How can I be good? What is it thatâs proper?
Making sure to make all my silver hairs copper?
To shave and to wax and to dye and to groom
And not be the loudest person in a room.
I was that good girl that could have been better
That B student, but not A to give it a letter.
I was described as always having room to improve
In a stultifying system with no room to move.
So now I donât know how to feel if Iâm not told
Iâm afraid to be labelled disruptive or bold.
I keep notes in my phone about white male dominion
And scramble through Jezebel to form feminist opinions
Because I canât on my own, I find it so tough
To form definitive opinions on that sorta stuff.
Iâm finding my way but thereâs no goddam map
Wouldnât it be great if we invented some kind of app
That would tell how us how to be the right kind of lady
But wouldnât that be the same thing we battle with daily?
Am I doing it right? Am I being a good girl?
Am I staying in my lane on the highways of the world?
We are socialised and raised to be good and compliant
Subliminal messaging to soften us so we don't get defiant.
Subliminal women will learn to be
Polite and quiet with a flare for maternity
From the very first doll they place in a pram
To knowing what garnishes go well with spring lamb
She can parallel park
She can cook a rare steak
She takes her holidays during mid term break
She has a sixth sense for when something is wrong
Sheâll remember her in-laws birthdays and look good in a thong.
Sheâll be a loyal loving friend who has learned to share
Sheâll have a perfect waist hip ratio and silky soft hair
These subliminal messages filling me killing me
Coming at me from all sides and silently willing me
To believe Iâll be better if I invest in their stuff
Cause without the right shade of lipstick I am not enough
Without a pout shaded âcrimson cherry pop redâ
I am not worthy of love is whatâs being said
If I canât climb up a cliff face overlooking the sea
Or do couch to 5K effortlessly
If I canât resist chocolate or get rid of fat
If I give in to wrinkles, if Iâm not a doormat
If I canât run in a sports bra or spin on a bike
Or go for a pre-dawn meditative hike
All while I bleed excessively and am in pain from the movement
Iâm not a good enough woman and thereâs room for improvement.
Subliminal women are curated from birth
Like seeds harvested from their mothers and buried in earth
And the soil around is fertilised, augmented
With impossible standards to drive us demented.
I am a woman. âNice figureâ they shout
Hereâs some figures we should try figure out
1 in 10 women experience sexual violence
15 million under 18 are married off in silence
32% of parliamentarians are female
but we earn 14-20% less depending on detail
Iâm Googling facts to come up with these rhymes
But the figures are depressing and Iâm wasting my time
Because no matter what way you swing it, or what way it lands
It seems womenâs experience is shaped by male hands.
If all that is so clear to me why am I confused?
Why does knowing how I feel leave me feeling bemused?
Am I allowed to say I donât know how I feel?
About pregnancy or breastfeeding or chemical peels.
Am I a bad woman if I don't share the tweets
If I don't wear the t-shirt or occupy streets
Can I find my own way to support the cause
Can I take time to consider things, just a brief little pause
Or do I have to be certain, steadfast no movement
Can I be a feminist with room for improvement?
Image: Stefanie Preissner
Credit: Emily Quinn
Duration:
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