±«Óãtv

Good Morning.

When I was a child, my mother used to talk about the importance of putting others first. I remember her encouraging us to let someone who was elderly go ahead in a supermarket queue or to get on the bus first. Even harder, if we held a party I was expected to pass round the delicious cakes and sweets before taking anything for myself. If there was a shortage, the motto was FHB: family hold back. At the time, I resented this enormously.

When I became interested in Buddhism the idea of putting people first came up again. In Tibetan Buddhism, the heart of the path is called bodhicitta. This is a Sanskrit word which means open (Bodhi) and citta (heart). The premise is that the entire point of studying Tibetan Buddhism is to learn to open our hearts to others, and to treat them with exactly the same kindness and compassion that we would like to experience ourselves. However whereas my mother talked about oughts and shoulds, my Buddhist teachers encourage us to base our behavior on logic and reasoning. All the qualities that we associate with an open heart, such as kindness, generosity, forgiveness and the humility to learn, are also the qualities that will improve our health and wellbeing, strengthen families and friendships, and bring us meaning and satisfaction. On this basis, it seems a no-brainer to practice kindness and compassion as much as we can. 

One of my favourite quotes is from Ogden Nash and it warns against the ‘hardening of the oughteries’. Let’s pray that we can all find ways to relate to others with kindness, compassion and an open heart, not because we ‘ought’ to, but because it makes such good sense.