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Internet Dating

How has the internet changed the way we love and live? Tim Samuels and Jane Garvey dive on the language of digital love, what men and women want, and how to go about getting it.

How has today's online dating changed the way we live and love? How does the experience of dating online differ for men and women? Today, in a special broadcast, Woman's Hour and Men's Hour have made a date to look at the world of online dating. Online dating novice Jane Garvey is joined by Tim Samuels who says while he's had plenty of dates, he's ready-to-embrace-commitment. We discuss the sexual politics and different experiences of online dating with listeners, dating advisors, experts and serial dating bloggers.

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58 minutes

The Art of Profile Writing

Every man and his dog are on online dating sites these days – don’t knock pet dating… Some nine million Brits are said to have used dating sites. The stigma is well and truly gone, but the competition is steep. How do you stand out against millions of other daters – and the odd dog? Half-decent photos – preferably taken in the last decade help – but can the profile’s text swing it? Is there an art to writing the perfect pitch? Dating guru and online profile writer, Alex Chubb, might well know…Ìý

Alex Chubb Dating Training Coach from

Looking for Love

So you’ve perfected your profile, you’ve made that initial email contact, you’ve texted even. Now you’re all ready for that first date. But what’s it like meeting entirely new love interests out on the dating scene? Tim and Jane go out to meet some other lonely hearts at a London speed dating event - a wine speed dating event for that extra little bit of Dutch courage.ÌýÌý

Anatomy of a Date

So after the profile writing, the emails and the texts, you’ve bagged your date, and it’s all romance and flowers from there, right…?Ìý Well not quite so, not if Tim’s experience is anything to go by. Tim, has written a list of his own Top 10 awkward dating moments – he’s been on quite a few.Ìý So does online dating mean we never stop searching for that elusive perfect love…? What’s it like to go on endless online dates, and still find yourself home alone with the cat on a Saturday night? How far are you willing to go to find The One? And what do we learn from it all? Well to share their experiences, and their stories of dating disasters – and successes – far and wide, we’re joined by some of the most prolific daters out there. Jane and Tim areÌýjoined by Clare Travers Smith who went on 52 dates in 52 weeks, and by Willard Foxton who went on 28 dates using 28 different - sometimes specialist - websites, and even went on a very quick date with Clare. And by Paula Rosdol who went on over 125 dates, in 10 countries, in 12 months in her search for that perfect ‘one’. We hear about multiple dates, the world of specialist websites, dating over the age of 50, and dating across the cultural divide.

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Listeners' Experiences

We hear from Men’s Hour and Women’s Hour listeners about their own online dating experiences – good, and all too frequently amusingly bad. Includes, amongst others, Jamie Nattu, Sarah McIntosh, and Clare Cathcart.Ìý

And on last Thursday’s programme told us about her adventures looking for love online

How has the internet changed the way we love and live?

So how has internet dating affected our attitudes, our behaviour, our very wiring? And just how vast and powerful is the industry? Tim and Jane are joined by Professor Monica Whitty – a Cyberpsychologist from The University of Leicester, and by Dr Aleks Krotoski – Social Psychologist and Research Associate at the Oxford Internet Institute.

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Untangling The Web: What The Internet Is Doing To You by Aleks Krotoski is published by Faber

Looking for love in all the wrong places - romance scams

So what happens when it all goes wrong? Seriously, seriously wrong…Ìý Clare Travers Smith sensed something was wrong when she was stood–up by someone she knew as ‘Seb’.Ìý After he let her down, she became curious, and uncovered a web of lies, deceit, and - one after one - a series of let-down, would-be loves. Claire tells us her story.Ìý

But how common are experiences like Claire’s? Professor Monica Whitty has been doing a long term study into ‘romance scams’ on the internet – she tells us all about the prevalence of these scams, just what happens, and what it’s like to be affected.

Dating with a disability

What are some of the complexities that people face when dating with a disability? You can’t group everyone together – everything differs according to your disability and circumstances.Ìý

Robyn Steward has aspergers and wants to highlight some of the challenges faced by people on the autistic spectrum when doing things like dating. And she’s just written The Independent Woman's Handbook for Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum, and says it’s difficult to date because she cannot read the signs. She joins Jane and Tim to talk about her personal experiences dating as a woman with aspergers.

And Claire Lomas - a sportswoman and former showjumper – tells us about looking for love online after becoming paralysed in a riding accident, and meeting her future husband on the web.

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The Independent Woman's Handbook for Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum by Robyn Steward is published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers on 9 September.

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To celebrate their 100th show, will have a special talk show on disability sex and relationships which will be available as a download from 5 September at bbc.co.uk/ouch.ÌýÌý

Credits

Role Contributor
Presenter Jane Garvey
Presenter Tim Samuels
Interviewed Guest Alex Chubb
Interviewed Guest Paula Rosdol
Interviewed Guest Clare Travers Smith
Interviewed Guest Willard Foxton
Interviewed Guest Monica Whitty
Interviewed Guest Aleks Krotoski
Interviewed Guest Robyn Steward
Interviewed Guest Claire Lomas
Producer Emma Wallace

Broadcast

  • Mon 26 Aug 2013 10:00

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