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'Establish those muscles'

The best time to start speaking about finances is generally sooner, rather than later, even if it brings up some difficult conversations, says Abby.

“We don't have models for how to [talk about money]. We see movies and all of these romanticised versions of relationships where you're planning a wedding and you're doing all of the wonderful parts, but you’re not sitting down on a first date and revealing your educational debt to each other.

“People feel uncomfortable having to make the decisions, for example: Will you each contribute to rent in a similar way? What if somebody earns more? Would they pay more rent? Once you establish those muscles, you’ll be able to talk about things that you know are going to be awkward and uncomfortable.”

‘Don’t bring it up when you’re rushing out the door’

Myra and Abby suggest starting these conversations gradually and making sure the setting allows for open communication.

“Don't bring it up when you’re rushing out the door to go to work in the morning or you’re brushing your teeth at the end of the day about to get into bed.

“Make an appointment, just as you would with a manager at work if you had an important topic to bring up. You wouldn’t spring it on them just as they walk in the door in the morning. So, it’s the same thing with a partner.

“Find a time that’s mutually agreeable that will allow you to get out of your cramped flat with piles of dishes in the sink and the laundry and go on a walk. That lets your brain think about things in a different way than if you were surrounded by all the chaos of your everyday life.”

'They do get easier over time’

Try to stick with these tough conversations about money, even if they are difficult to begin with.

“The conventional wisdom is that we should separate the two topics - we should think about relationship decisions with our hearts, we should think about financial decisions with our heads, we should never let one get in the way of the other,” says Abby.

“That's just very flawed, because all of life's biggest decisions involve both money and love. If you ignore one, you're missing a huge part of the picture. And you're more likely to make a decision that you regret. Even though [these conversations] are very awkward and uncomfortable, they do get easier over time.”

‘Don’t think of this as a one-time conversation’

“Ideally, you're having these uncomfortable conversations before you've committed to spend the rest of your life with this person,” says Myra. “But this is a long dance. You need to keep listening to your partner's reactions and keep being gentle with your partner if you want to change things. Take it easy but be persistent.

“Make sure you’re both comfortable with the arrangements you have, and you both can talk about how you feel about it. If one of you gets uncomfortable, let's hear about it.”

‘It's never too late to start’

“The issue is there,” says Myra. “Everybody has to make a living and if you don’t talk about money at all, then problems arise and you’re missing an opportunity to stop those problems before they fester and turn into really big problems.

“So, don't bury it until it becomes a major issue. Don't wait. Don't let things fester. Deal with what comes up when it comes up.”

To hear more from Myra and Abby on Woman’s Hour, including their Five Cs framework for speaking about money, head to ±«Óãtv Sounds. Plus, you can join the conversation on Instagram and Twitter @bbcwomanshour.