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It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring apart from a... flatulent reindeer suffering from diarrhoea.
Welcome to the holiday season courtesy of Adam Sandler, star of "Mr Deeds", "Little Nicky", and "Big Daddy".
As December cartoons go, this one definitely breaks the mould.
It's the eight nights of Hanukkah and Jewish ex-basketball star Davey Stone (voiced by Sandler) is on the skids, drinking himself into oblivion.
The local judge gives him a final chance to shape up or ship out. Either he helps the school basketball league or pack his bags.
Teaming up with pint-sized referee Whitey Duvall (again, voiced by Sandler) and his twin sister Eleanore (voiced by... you guessed it), Davey learns some valuable lessons about the spirit of Hanukkah and the Christmas holidays.
If the story makes "Eight Crazy Nights" sound like the usual sappy holiday cartoon movie, forget it.
This is foul-mouthed, gross, and about as relevant to either Hanukkah or Christmas as hanging a turd on a Christmas tree. Which is pretty much the level of the film's humour.
There are musical numbers about alcoholism, animals that lose control of their bowels, and a scene in which Whitey is rolled down a hill in a portaloo. Yes, he winds up covered in faeces, then is drenched with a hose pipe, frozen and licked free by a bunch of reindeer (who end up with brown teeth).
Given that the film's full title is "Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights", it's obvious who's to blame for this travesty.
Maybe Sandler and his writers should have watched a few episodes of South Park before they put pen to paper.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone know how to be gross, offensive, and funny at the same time. Sandler's stuck on the first, making this animated atrocity eight nights too many.
