The highlight of my week
and possibly my year is a recording I now have of Fenella Fielding, saying: "Eddie - time to put the bucket under the cow".
I have Paddy and his team to thank for this. If I get a moment later, I will explain why it matters*.
I am collating - because I am going through my own customer service nightmare - YOUR worst customer service story. You know, when things go wrong and a company has the chance to sort it, but then makes things worse? Only if you can be bothered. No pressure. And please, don't mention the non-functioning newsletter. THAT would be cruel.
*it doesn't really.
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Listen to PM
Hi Ed,
I've been with AOL for 3 years,never experienced such a bad customer service, When I changed my phone number, they cancelled my broadband without informing me & when I called the customer service, they blamed BT for cancelling it.The call is transferred to a call center in India and its utterly disgusting. No politeness but the rudeness. some time the person is half sleep and doesnt know what he is talking about.It was badly handled and there is no apology whatsoever. They told me I have to wait for 14 days to be reconnected. I waited almost two weeks and rang them back. Again same story and they didnt know when I will get my connection. they said it may be another 20 days. the customer service is crap. I was so frustrated and cancelled the line immediately. I'll not recommend AOL to anyone
Kuwait Airways...
BAH-KWI Business Class. Flew out with Gulf Air, back with Kuwait Airways. At Bahrain, separate check-in for Business Class and First Class passengers, with a small lounge area to wait in until the flight is called. Easy check-in, with a pass to the Delmon Lounge issued. However, the lounge was far from the gate at which we were boarding so we did not take advantage of it. However, Bahrain Airport has improved on its duty-free area since I last flew through, and this was a further reason for not going through to the Delmon Lounge. The aircraft, an Airbus A310, arrived on time, and we were allowed to board 30 minutes prior to the scheduled take-off time. However, we did notice that, had we been in the Delmon Lounge, the Y Class passengers would have been allowed to board first, with the J Class passengers called for boarding once the Y Class passengers had passed through the J cabin - quite civilised. Once all J Class passengers were embarked, we were offered arabic coffee and dates, again a nice touch. Once the doors had closed, we were addressed from the flight deck, but the Captain must have been reading from a script, and gabbled his way through it. After that, no announcements. We pushed back on time for the 40-minute flight, which was smooth and comfortable. A cold snack meal was served, which was a little uninspired: however, it was on china with steel cutlery, and it was presented well. The FA's were formal rather than friendly, but efficient. The coffee served with the meal was excellent. Again, when we left the aircraft, the cabin crew were in evidence, but had a rather distant manner when wishing the passengers farewell. The aircraft was parked at a gate close to the main arrivals hall, so reasonably fast through immigration; the bags were already on the carousel, and a swift pass through customs. All in all a very reasonable flight, but with a crew lacking warmth and a real interest in the passengers
Dear Eddie,
Unfortunately, there is no chance that I will be able to finish the film in my camera in time to get my Window on your World picture to you this week. Therefore, I hope you will be prepared to wait a little longer. If not, I will have to send it to one of the ‘associated’ sites...
Doc
I can understand why hearing Fenella Fielding saying Eddie would make your toes curl, Lord Mair! I heard her yesterday on BH and assume that is how Paddy got her on side ....
Customer service nightmares like the ones 'provided' courtesy of our main telecommuncation provider? I can provide you with lots of copy there, if you'd like to collate.
So, Eddie, how was your weekend?
Had these from a friend the other day -
Actual call centre conversations
Customer: "I've been
ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
_____________________________
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".
_____________________________
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
_____________________________
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France)
"If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
_____________________________
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
_____________________________
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
_____________________________
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
xx
LadyPen
And some old favourites:
CALLS TO TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
_____________________________
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
_____________________________
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it.
If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
_____________________________
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (allegedly).
Operator:
Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?
Caller:
Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.
Operator:
What sort of trouble??"
Caller:
Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Operator:
Went away?
Caller:
They disappeared.
Operator:
Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
Caller:
Nothing.
Operator:
Nothing??
Caller:
It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.
Operator:
Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??
Caller:
How do I tell?
Operator:
Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??
Caller:
What's a sea-prompt?
Operator:
Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
Caller:
There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.
Operator:
Does your monitor have a power indicator??
Caller:
What's a monitor?
Operator:
It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??
Caller:
I don't know.
Operator:
Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??
Caller:
Yes, I think so.
Operator:
Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller:
Yes, it is.
Operator:
When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??
Caller:
No.
Operator:
Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Caller:
Okay, here it is.
Operator:
Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.
Caller:
I don't know.
Operator:
Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??
Caller:
No.
Operator:
Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??
Caller:
Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.
Operator:
Dark??
Caller:
Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator:
Well, turn on the office light then.
Caller:
I can't.
Operator:
No? Why not??
Caller:
Because there's a power failure.
Operator:
A power...................................... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it l now I think. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??
Caller:
Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
Operator:
Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Caller: Really? Is it that bad?
Operator:
Yes, I'm afraid it is.
Caller:
Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??
Operator:
Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!
Eddie - hope you are going to enlighten us on your own own personal customer service nightmare? Who is giving you grief - I will sort them out for you!
As for mine, well many spring to mind but am quite a feisty lass when I need to be so am pretty good at standing my ground until justice is done so to speak. But I have to say I am never rude - my biggest bug bear is rude customer service. Anyway one incident that springs to mind as being particularly bad happened in France (not really a nation famed for its happy customer service!). We were there for a couple of months 2 years ago and while away decided to buy a portable dvd player to use out there. We bought it from a very large electrical retailer (a sort of French Currys). It certainly did say that there was a 7 day return deadline which was fine we accepted that but literally on day 8 or 9 the play button broke - we pressed it to play and it snapped off. Thinking that it would be no problem to have it changed as it was clearly faulty we went back to the store to explain what happened. Their only offer was to send it off to be repaired which would take 6-8 weeks - we then explained very nicely that we would not be in France that much longer and could we please just have a replacement! Big mistake - I think I then had the rudest ever encounter with a shop person in my life, there was absolutely no concept of me being the customer and the "customer is always right" philosophy. I was basically told we offered to send it away if you dont like that then tough and then he then went on to accuse us (not even a veiled accusation - an actual one!) that because it was the day after the return deadline we had broken it deliberately to try and get our money back! Its not often I am lost for words but that was one of them!! My SO who is normally shall we say the less than diplomatic one of the two of us had to then step in (literally), gently guide me away and try some calm negotiations. In the end they agreed to swop it with the display model!
It lasted the trip but has since broken again - if I could remember the brand I would warn you all not to buy it!
Looks like my recent struggles to get my son's phone line mended by TalkTalk will pale into comparison with other horror stories. I suspect that the main reason it took over two weeks was the splitting of responsibilities, much like other deregulation disasters.
All I could get out of TT day after day, was that the BT engineers were working on it and they would update me by text - which after the first couple of days they failed to do. Apparently it took someone two weeks to work out that the problem was a loose wire in a junction box around the corner from the house.
But what really irritated me was that after two weeks of talking to me, because freelance musician son had difficulty making time to call, they suddenly turned round and refused to talk to anyone but the account holder. When they failed to call him directly as promised, I had to jump in my car and drive round so that son could use my mobile to call them, since of course he couldn't call from his phone and his own mobile was out of credit! I think their protocol should have meant they call back to the mobile, but this offer was only made a couple of times.
Just an appalling waste of everyone's time, huge disappointment on my part with a company I had good relations with up to then.
All such organisations should remember that if you receive good service you will tell a few people, but if you get bad service you will tell many, many more.
I think the problem with telephone companies is that they have forgotten what writing is meant to do. Recently we had a letter in response to a complaint about price hikes, and it made no attempt to address the issue.
I can give customer service stories about: BT, Dell computers, BT, William H Brown, BT, Dixons, Comet, BT...
BT: A month after booking the engineer they advised on a piece of equipment I needed as it was too 'difficult' to install what I wanted. I ordered the thing online. They cancelled my order, lost my second order 'in the warehouse', denied it and blamed Parcelforce, then sent the wrong thing, sent the right thing (third order) which broke a week later, sent another wrong thing (fourth order), sent the right thing (fifth order). Two weeks ago my telephone line stopped working properly and despite reporting the fault three times, nothing was done. It is still on the blink and short of putting out all the cables, I am not sure what to do.
Dell: Ordered computer online, order was cancelled as the order had been printed out, put in someone's inbox and forgotten about, so the deadline for processing passed. No one actually told me this, as I took off two days in a row to receive the computer.
William H Brown: I have an ongoing battle with them as they have a nasty habit of filing everything neatly and a) Not doing anything needed for the paperwork b) Not informing me when I need to send something vitally important to them.
Dixons: I am female and over 21. Therefore I am ritually ignored by all the spotty teenage salespeople when I walk in there wanting a present for my husband. On the occasion I asked them about portable CD players, I was actually laughed at saying that CD players were for 'old fogies'. So I hobbled out with my zimmerframe, never to return.
Comet/bank: Bought a computer from them on credit. The credit account was unknowingly transferred by the hosting bank into a high interest account where I am currently paying the original interest on the computer, AND the interest for the bank account. So I am paying double for the same item because of misinformation and threatening letters.
You'll notice a common thread to all of these: lack of communication, lack of care and sometimes outright rudeness.
Um, Eddie, Euan Ures (aka You & Yours) has just beaten you to the "terrible customer service stories please" theme -- they even have a bloke who's keeping a year long diary about it. Want me to go round and 'shut them up' for you? Half price this job, just for you ;-)
btw, Call me a pedant (but I did refrain from mentioning it two days ago, so a reasonably patient one, I feel) but shouldn't the strapline author's name read "Clive's Giant Eyelash"? And if not, what on Earth does it mean?... Clive?... Anyone?...
Soup support...
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the bill. I'm running late now. [waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the bill] Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your bill.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything. [waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
The bill:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . £5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . £2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . £1.00
I currently have sat in my living room a DVD recorder from Play.com.
I ordered it last summer, and it still wasn't in stock by October, so I cancelled it. Returning from a Christmas break, I found a DVD recorder from Play.com waiting for me (which they'd also billed me for £200).
I called them to tell them to come pick it up and give me the money back and they said I'd have to package it up again and send it back myself.
Eventually I got them to arrange a courier to come collect it. Great? No. I waited in all day for their courier on the stated day, and no one arrived.
I called back to ask what happened and was told that "the system is down at the moment" (conveniently 20 minutes before closing time) and so I asked them to call back the next day. They agreed. But didn't bother calling back.
Two days later I called back and they said "Sorry about that, but it really would be quicker if you sent the DVD recorder back to us" - at a cost of £18.
Pretty poor, eh?
I would also give honourable mentions to two other companies, the first being Oystercard - the electronic ticketing for London Underground. When I called to ask why there was an anomaly on my record I could view on their website, they pointed out that the records I could view weren't meant to be a complete record and then picked an argument with me! When I complained about their attitude, they ignored my message.
There is a Cards shop that is based in London which sold me a broken gift and then accused me of lying when I asked for an exchange.
I would like to suggest someone who gave good customer service, but I really can't think of anyone outstanding right now. Lovefilm, Amazon and Sky Digital all are quite good though. And Firebox.com went the extra length at Christmas to deliver a present in time, and I was appreciative. HSBC refunded a charge on my bank account that was dubious.
That's probably about it.
LadyPen
ROFL!
On another, more local, level: I recently went into a little independent bakery to get a couple of cakes. The owner there was talking with her friend, and gossiping about someone else. They did not stop talking as I went in and ignored me for a good few minutes. I made my selection and then stood there waiting to be served. And waited. And waited politely. Growing bored, I went to look back at the cakes and was rudely asked "haven't you chosen yet?" out of the blue. I replied in the positive and then was subject to a very uncomfortable silence and direct stares from the two women, making it perfectly obvious that I was interrupting their conversation. Peed off, I then asked "I'm sorry, do you want me to go outside so you can continue gossiping?" and only then did the owner jumped to attention.
As a side note, the resultant squashed cakes really were not worth the hassle, so I have now forfeited this place and prefer to walk the extra 1/2 mile to the other bakery where the food is much better and the service is with a smile.
For honourable mention - Lakeland Limited who always answer the phone within a few seconds, are always helpful and polite, and always despatch promptly. I've never had a problem with them. My mother once returned an item she felt not fit for purpose - no question refund immediately.
Although they are now a very large company they seem to have retained the spirit of the family enterprise I first ordered from about 40 years ago.
If they can do it, why not everyone?
Funnily enough they are based in Cumbria, home of the wonderful Teebay....
Belinda's story reminds of the time SO and I went into a tearoom in Petworth. There were only two other customers in there, and two people 'appeared' to be working there. One was counting up money, the other reading a newspaper. No acknowledgement as we walked in, we seated ourselves, read and chose from the menu, waited, and waited, and waited ..... Meanwhile, tearoom workers read, and counted money, and ignored us. After ten minutes, SO and I decided that enough rudeness was enough for one day, got up and headed towards the door. 'Moneycounter', in indignant tones, said "I was just coming to take your order" to which I replied, "Well, we're just leaving". Both paperreader and moneycounter gave us dagger-drawn looks, and we continued through the door.
There is something in this country about people in the service industry resenting 'serving' .....
My worst service: Concord Camera.
I used their digital camera until my software was incompatible with my laptop. Suddenly, I received a notice from Toshiba that it was incompatible with Toshiba and my Toshiba.
I called Concord Camera and their response was that the software was tested to be compatible with Windows XP. Concord Camera stated: "There is nothing to worry about, all of our software is Windows XP Compatible". I tried the software on my laptop and the Toshiba Laptop spit out the software.
I tried the Concord Camera on my wife's Marlene computer Hewlett Packard and the computer broke down. My wife was angry but I confessed and called Concord Camera. Their response was like an automated robot: ""There is nothing to worry about, all of our software is Windows XP Compatible". I hung up the phone and decided to use a disposable digital camera for my photos.
My Wife and I had to pay tyhe equivalent of $100.00 USA to repair her computer.
Cheers from Miami
Roberto
I asked our IT helpdesk to reinstall Word to fix a recurrent problem with it.
This was translated as "Please delete all the DLL files that Windows XP needs to run."
They've decided the easiest way to fix it is to give me a new hard disk. I despair!!
A few Christmases ago my SO bought a large, wooden, gold star covered in twinkly lights (it was about 5 foot across) from a local flower shop. She hung it on the wall, plugged it in. Lovely. Next day it wouldn't work - one of the bulbs had blown and it would only work with all of them.
She went back to the shop. The owner had no spare bulbs but promised to get some from the supplier. Week after week, nothing.
In then end SO went in and was told they couldn't get any as it was now way past Christmas. SO asked for her money back. The shop owner refused. So SO, being a so and so, told the owner that she would take her to the small claims court. "Go on then," she smirked.
We claimed the cost of the item, the cost of repeatedly phoning and visiting the shop, the cost of the trip to get the forms and the shoe leather... All in all about a third more than the item had cost to start with. The shop owner didn't show up and judgement was in our favour.
We got the cheque in a letter saying that the shop owner wanted the item back. We were to deliver it to her shop "in the next few days". We wrote back thanking her for the cheque and saying she was welcome to come on (this day) at (this time) to collect the item - and asked her to bring 50p a day storage fee for the item since the date we bought it.
We never heard back.
Drinks (13, I think), "Clives giant eyelash" - it's a tricky one for sure. I suspect a slightly subversive intent - perhaps a passing comment on the trials and tribulations of the CBB house, the Middle East and Gordon's travels? I'm thinking that "cliving" (or "Cliving") is an unusual coinage, suggesting the application of military and political means in order to secure commercial advantage. Thus, the apostrophe wasn't, in fact, missing at all. If I'm right, "giant eyelash" is clearly metaphorical.
Ho ho ho - I wonder which little monkey thought that one up!
Lady Pen thanks for that...I laughed out loud. I feel at times I'm only one step away from the idiot who had a power cut. We had always been a Mac household, but decided to add P.C. and wireless Laptop to it. We also changed from two phone-lines to Broadband. We did it in one fell swoop and it involved having a new B.T. line, coming from our own new Telegraph pole. After many trials and errors, phonecalls and gnashings of teeth we finally had a visit from a lovely B.T. man who brought his own laptop into the house with him. He climbed the telegraph pole and patiently tested all the lines and jacks inside the house. He found no faults......until he came to the kitchen and found that in all our confusion we had plugged the extension telephone wire into the wrong slot in the jack. Despite my severe shame, the B.T. man laughed it all off and didn't bill us for his visit as he hadn't actually done anything. Service with a smile indeed.
Eddie I think I've emailed you as an attachment a letter I wrote to Powergen after months of provocation & the usual telephone torture of customer "service" (ha ha - ironical name really, isn't it). I didn't want to reprint it here on the blog as there are too many company names to delete & I couldn't be bothered messing around with it. I'd probably end up deleting the lot. I did find the humorous approach got a satisfactory result in the end, but really it shouldn't be necessary to get so worked up, should it?
My best customer service was a few weeks ago when we were in Scotland, I was doing a concert & the sole place to eat was a hotel near the Hall. We only had about an hour between the end of rehearsal & concert starting, so I was agonising with the waitress (during a recce visit earlier in the afternoon)about whether or not they could
cook something quickly enough for me. She suggested we order then (ie about 4 pm), & she would make sure it was ready when we came back at 6. She was as good as her word, we waltzed in at 6, were shown immediately to a table, & the food arrived at five past. (Much to the envy of other players who hadn't realised what we had done) I would never have dreamt of asking for such a thing (we didn't pay until after the meal) but it made all the difference to the evening for me, & was such a nice meal too.
A school I support is having it's internet bandwidth expanded by having a second broadband phoneline installed and a funky modem that uses both lines in some complex technical way that I can only dream about understanding.
This is part of a County-wide plan to have all primary schools receiving 2mb broadband or better (no mean feat given how rural things can be round here).
Ever since November the company supplying the technology and BT have been failing to get the second line working. The line has been tested by BT and pronounced "working". Then the tech company try and work their magic and it fails.
Imbetween we have long spells where no one can access the internet at all.
Last week another BT engineer visited the school and said he had to disappear and look at the box somewhere between the school and the exchange. According to the secretary he is the 6th different engineer, and none have ever returned.
Anyhoo the tech guys call to say BT have given the line the thumbs up - can I play wire swapping for them (no, not wife swapping). I do my bit, they try to do theirs. Failed again.
The tech guy says he'll have to get BT back out. I say this has been happening now for almost 3 months - can we not arrange a meeting on site between BT engineers and tech engineers to sort it? "What a great idea," says tech man...
Then we get a call back from tech man's colleague. He has a better idea. "This is a data line, not a voice line. BT have been testing the line for sending voice. We'll ask them to test it for data."
AAARRGGGGHHH!
And it fails the data test. There must be something wrong with the line. We'll get BT to....
Well ours was with npower. They wrote and told us that our house in Leeds, now sold thank goodness, needed a gas meter safety check. They subcontract this out and gave us a phone number for the subcontractors.
We phoned subcontractors and said we had moved out, but the house was sold with completion due in the new year, was it possible for them to note this and get in touch with the new owners. No it wasn't, all they did was make appointments, anything more complex we needed to discuss with n power.
We phoned npower. The berk who answered said three times ' you have to discuss this with the subcontractor' and husband said 3 times with great patience 'they told us we had to discuss it with you'.
They then suggested we make an appointment with subcontractors and keep it. We pointed out we were 650 miles PLUS a 90 minute ferry crossing away so that wasn't possible which was why we had rung in the first place and had just explained to them.
We asked if perhaps the subcontractor could get key from estate agent - only half a mile from the house - and then return it when he was finished. No, there was no way they could do that.
They then suggested that if we agreed a day the estate agent could wait in the house for the man to come and do the check, but no, they wouldn't be able to specify a time, not even morning or afternoon.
At this point husband said perhaps we could just put it on back burner until new owners were in the house, at which point the man at npower said if we continued to refuse to make an appointment for the safety check then they would authorise the subcontractors to come at their convenience and break into the house to gain access to the meter, as they were legally empowered to do.
Oh boy did I enjoy writing the letter of complaint to the Cuistomer Services Director about that one!
Jason, Jason, you're going to burst a blood vessel if you keep on like this.
As will I, laughing at the upshot of your twinky star story!
May I very, very deferentially suggest that the FB would be a good place to keep this thread going? Less hunting around, after today...
Just a thought. Now it's time to go and see what's for tea. (More chilli on Wednesday, Big Sister, when the depressed vegetarian guitar player is here!)
There was ugly talk of SO fetching in something curryish for himself and chippyish for me. (Aunt Dahlia, cover your ears!)
Fifi
Where do I start with my experience of customer services!!!! IKEA is a long time favourite of mine to get into a really good argument.
Like the time I ordered a sofa to be delivered before Christmas a few years ago. I was given a delivery date, then a call confirming it, then at 6pm the night before a phone call saying the sofa couldn't be delivered as it hadn't been made yet, and the bits were in Milan. A few phone calls later established that the problems in Afgahistan were to blame, that the sofa was made but was in Amsterdam, another person told me it was in a warehouse somewhere in the south of England. In other words, they were making it up. I perservered (like Fifi I'm very very determined) and lo and behold the sofa arrived before Christmas the following Saturday even though they said they wouldn't deliver it then.
Then there was the table from them damaged in transit, that took several days to sort. Then there was some kitchen equipment for my office, and then ....
Oh and BT Openworld, where you call the technical support line and have to listen to nearly 10 minutes of menu which amongst other things asks if you want to subscribe to BT Openworld in spite of the fact that you wouldn't be calling the number if you weren't already a subscriber.
Then when you get through you get someone who doesn't know the first thing about computers. They are reading from a checklist of known problems. Each time you speak to someone they take you right back to the beginning of the troubleshooter even though you tell them you've tried all those things. Eventually they tell you there's an external fault, which you guessed was the case all along, and their status line never mentions your area when you try that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John Lewis get my vote for being brilliant.
I bought a portable DVD player for my husband for his birthday. On the day (a Saturday) we tried it out and it didn't work. I phoned them and was asked to bring it in. I said I didn't want to go into town on a Saturday let alone on my hubbies birthday. They checked their stock, the manager himself came to my home, set it up and took the other one away!
Mary
Jason,
It can't get much more rural than here, and although we only got broadband a little more than a year ago, mine just measured 7.3Mbps. Just for comparison purposes, it's 100% BT (business).
Thanks to all for the horror stories and to Lady Pen for my hurting belly (too much roflol).
salaam, etc.
ed
Ed,
Sadly the County Council have their own broadband provision that piggy backs on BT's network. All linked into a regional Broadband Consortium.
The government insisted that LEAs "did" broadband this way. They have now insisted that they stop doing broadband this way, so it will all get fragmented over the next year and everyone could have gone to BT in the first place.
The schools each pay, wait for it, £6k a year for 2mb broadband. Of course, it's filtered to stop kids accessing bad sites. But that doesn't work entirely as sites crop up faster than the filters can clear them (and at a secondary school I worked at one young man got daily text messages of as-yet unblocked sites....).
I could mention the argument I had with the RAC about renewing my membership. They wanted a lot more than they quote on their website for the coming year. The man kindly explained it was because my membership entitled me to a no-claims discount. No claims in my 2 years of membership and I was still paying 20-odd% more than a random internet punter....
I could tell you about the non-painter who isn't painting the outside of my flat even though he's been paid. And hasn't replaced the window he took away in October (polythene doesn't work against gales). who seldom answers the phone and never turns up when he says he's going to come. But it might be libel if I said what his name was, or his business is called.
I have the odd story of our roofer who took the old one off, and disappeared for several weeks.....I happen to live just under that roof, but luckily autumn 2004 was exceptionally benign.
But the odd thing about an otherwise standard story was the following. Whenever I got so fed up, and decided to DIY, as it were, I'll go into a local builders' merchants, asking about the price of insulation, or tiles or whatever. Next morning, errant builder, bright eyed and bushy tailed, would arrive with delivery of said materials, to continue (for a bit...) I accused the merchant of having their premises bugged, it became such a predictable event...
Not if it's all true Frances O? - go for it!
John H - (23)(though we established a long time ago that you're not) - what? I'm more confused than I was already!
Everyone else - you've no idea how glad I am to hear that I'm not the only one with this kind of story!
Mostafa. Enogh for now.
Hello JH (23),
If I am to accept your explanation of the verb "to clive" -- and I'm really not sure I will -- then I will need to know more about the metaphorical meaning of "giant eyelash".
Forgive me, but -- "nutter"...
I just popped over to the beach (which I admit to having ignored for some while) to ensure a supply of rather fine Rioja for the Cat who was rather stressed out on another thread. And I'd like to point out that the wine wasn't liberated from another beach - there wasn't enough room in the car with all the disposable nappies and motor bikes! Enjoy.
Mark
Do you know, having thought about it some more, I'm beginning to believe that it might just be a missing apostrophe.
[smirk]
JH, you deserve a good cliving, you do!
Push!