With a hole
Mister Ed has sent me a text to say he is extremely naffed off about the alleged goings-on in Jersey. Honestly, you think someone is giving you a mint out of the kindness of their heart and then your legs fall out from under you. When Nick Clarke offered me a polo earlier, I just had to say no.
My mind's been wandering onto horsy things. I was obviously deprived in my youth - I never did the pony club thing. I sought solace in the Yugoslavian snowy white horses on tv.
While my mind wanders further, here are my favourite horse jokes:
*Horse walks into a pub. Barman says "hello mate why the long face?"
* How do you cure water on a horse's brain? Turn it off at the mane.
* White horse goes into a pub, and says "I'll have a whisky please" Barman says " I've even got one with your name on ." And the horse says " What, Eric?"
Over to you.
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White Horses...
On white horses let me ride away
To my world of dreams so far away
Let me run
To the sun
To a world my heart can understand
It's a warm and gentle wonder land
Far away
Stars away
Where the clouds are made of candyfloss
As the day's born
When the stars are gone
We'll race to meet the dawn
So when I can only see the grey
Of a sad and lonely day
That's when I
Softly sigh
On white horses
Snowy white horses
Let me ride away.
Hello Carolyn,
There was a famous jockey that never lost a race. When interviewed on Radio 4 how he achieved this; he replied, I whisper in the horse's ear. Roses are red, violets are blue. Horses that lose are made into glue.
(Q) How do you make a small fortune looking after horses?
(A) Er...start with a large fortune.
I could quote the lyrics from Father Ted's "My Lovely Horse", but the high watermark is "Where are you going with your fetlocks blowing in the wind?" so that's probably enough.
Ahhh, the wonderful Jackie Lee! Did you know she also sang the theme to Rupert The Bear?
Brings back memories of school holiday TV: the cartoons, then Flash Gordon, then either White Horses, Champion the Wonder Horse or Whirleybirds, then the awful Why Don't You?
...
"...There's a magic land not far away and they call it Nutwood..."
btw Sequin, did Nick Clarke approve that comment???
Complain about this post? I certainly want to know why my old pal Rufus gets to quote willy-nilly about the White Horses, but I didn't get to kick up the traces with the Purple one??
Or will it disappear?
SB 6 - oh it looks like I am the only one playing now - sob!
Am I the only person that hadn't seen the , and so assumed that Mr Ed refered to the erstwhile Eddies, whose Pic still adorns this blog. It did leave me rather confused.
Just me then...
btw Lissa - where is mine from this morning on Ding-a-ling? It had a good bike story and everything. And I didn't complain about anything. And I didn't quote any poems or song lyrics. I protest, never mind complain!
Mrs Angry again
SB6, well 7 if you've got my previous
Don't forget the test card Stainless Steel Cat. The girl, the clown and the noughts and crosses match. I always had a sneaking feeling that there was cheating afoot.
Ah yes Rufus, I remember that tune as well, in fact I can't get it out of my mind now. So I'm singing this instead, Is This The Way To Amarillo? da-de-de-da-da-da-da...pillow? The wife's going mad at me, perhaps an afternoon sherry will make it better?
Did Nick see my comments? He certainly did - and he laughed like a drain. I'd never have said something like that without making sure he was in on it.
SB8,9,10,11,12,13......
Valery, I'll still play with you, though given the way posts appear, vanish, and then reappear I expect all the above will be true at some point.
That first joke reminds me of a new favourite:
"So, Steve Irwin walks into a barb . . ."
I am a trainee primary teacher. There is very little time given to letting children be creative after the reception year at school. When children are given that rare opportunity to draw or paint they all draw or paint the same thing, with 3 colours or a lead pencil. It is done that way because there is so little time in a curriculum with 10 subjects to cover.
sb15 (ish!)
A man goes to see the doctor, dragging a Shetland Pony into the examination room with him. The doctor asks "So what seems to be the matter?" and the man replies "I'm feeling a little horse"....
SB7: My dear Valery... since we're talking horse - when anger rushes unrestrain'd to action, like a hot steed, it stumbles in its way.
Oh, Harry Giles, how could you?? (13)
Aw poor Valery (7), I'll play too...
SB14 to 21!?!
Can someone come up with another tune to get the White Horses one out of my head?
Caspar, i don't think there was any cheating going on in that test card noughts & crosses game. Given the time that girl took to think about her next move, it was obviously Grand Master level.
I wonder who won in the end?
Chris the pickle, what about that Vision On tune. Remember that? You know the one, the one for the picture gallery it went...on and on and on and on. Oh yes on and on it went. It's called something or other, but I can't just think of its title.
well we're really strolling down memory lane today aren't we? Rufus it will be a LONG time before I forgive you for writing the words to White Horses above as I couldn't get it out of my head for ages. I managed in the end with Marina, the theme tune to Stingray and that drove my husband out of the house. He's back to tree planting.
While on the subject of old tv favourites, hands up if you loved The Singing Ringing Tree.
Do you realise that Lissa, Sequin, Eddie are all probably too young to remember any of these programs we're all recalling so fondly? How dispiriting is that?
s/be - oh I dunno. forgot to look.
sb21....
The one that's bugging me at the moment is the theme to Robinson Crusoe that used to be on every summer. Argh! I can't get it out of my head now....
I clearly have no life, as I have managed to find for those of us who can't remember the tune to White Horses
Now, back to avoiding work.
SB21
Ah yes memory lane...anyone remember the 'Five o' clock Club'? I don't mean PM either. It was a big thing for children (and young teens who should've known better). Presented by 'The fragrant' Muriel Young. It also had Wally Whyton ex-Vipers skiffle group member, who was talking to animals. Ollie Beak, Joe Crow, Spike McPike and a cat called Willum. I remember that Muriel Young was always very pretty, cheerful and good-natured.
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la, la la la la la la la...
Wow, Leader Stephen - hiya, and also that link took me to a really strange place which told me I had exceeded my data transfer limit. ? (Pluto?) Don't know why I went there because I know the tune anyway. So I now have a wonderful melange of many, many irritating tunes sloshing around inside my head. Thanks all. Good job I'm not working today.
Mind you, I rather like the Robinson Crusoe one, is that sad?
SB23
That Esso Blue parrafin salesman drove me daft with his 'catchy' jingle. Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-ESSO BLUE. Agggggh!
Oh Rufus - Mary Hopkins. I loved that song!
How do you keep getting to put song lyrics on - what 's the diff between those and poem lyrics then?
Also was a big fan of Muriel Young et al, fondly imagine it was when I was VERY young as it's kinda fuzzy now, Joe Crow and Ollie Beak, well, well, well.
What about The Woodentops and Rag tag & Bobtail and all that lot, the unintelligible Flowerpot Men (can still do a fair to middling impersonation).
SB 25 maybe?
sb24
Mr. Firefly @23
I had a photo of Mu Young on the inside of my school locker door.
I did not know she had died.
Here she is with Willum who was not on my photo:
Someone took the Robinson Crusoe theme as a Desert Island Disk...forget who now.
Am trying to avoid all these tunes, as apart from work and the steam pouring out of the (now, rather sadily, quite old) steed I've driven back from way out West (code for my old car), I've a rehearsal tonight. At some point. When I finish in the office for the day (or give up on the day)
SB28
sb 28
Champion - the WONder horse!
Loved it
Valery, that isn't sad. It is a necessary trait of a Plutonian.
Indeed I may put it in the constitution.
and have an immigration test where people must whistle the theme tunes to several programs from yesteryear!
SB28-35
At your party be a smarty and hire Rentaghost.
I’m bound to say that the post count, and/or appearance of same is still more than a little erratic from my position. I just added a comment for yesterday, following on from one six hours earlier, and then two more suddenly appeared in between. Neither being especially recent by the time signatures. That is all. Please expect a useful contribution at some future date, not specified.
SB31 (to 36)
Rufus at 27, so either you are talking to yourself or, we really do have 2 Rufus's, Rufi?
Wow, was The 5oclock show really as late as the 60's, gulp, well in that case I also remember listening to her under the bedclothes on Radio Luxembourg!
SB 32ish
Rufus T Firefly is a terrible dictator - nobody can read the letters than come out of his office.
SB33
SB 34
Oh Dr Hackenbush - thank you so much!
All my life I've known the whole of the Rentaghost theme tune, bar one line where I just could not get what was being sung!! Wow!
PM really does teach one so much!!
"If your mansion house needs haunting just call Rentaghost,
We've got spooks and ghouls and freaks and fools at Rentaghost..."
Two things that still make my mother and I laugh out loud: Mr Claypole pretending to be a cockney door-to-door salesman and using the expression "Cor, be affectionate to a duck"; on being put under a truth spell and trying to keep out of trouble, Christopher Biggins responsing to "Grr, where are you?!" with a raised hand and the words "I'm hiding over here!"...
Ah, so happy now.
SB35
To be another Uri Geller come to RRRRRentaghost.
To download the theme music, head over to .
Luckily I'm the last of the old Fogies(*), that is I'm older in spirit than in the flesh; so I can whistle all those tunes, so no problem for me at Stephen's Immigration control.
...who was it who wrote about "Vision On"..and a couple of weeks ago Phil Jupitus did a programme about Camblewick Green, Trumpton etc, and did that take me back!
peeep!
Pew, Pew, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub peeep! Dum, Dum, diddle-di Dum......BTW, I was surprised but pleased to see Sequin had read the posts, and had responded to the Nick Clarke question *without* starting a new blog...thanks, Carolyn, saved many man-hours of British Manufacturing Industry by posting within the comments.
(well, as part of the last gasp of BMI, it saved me time...).
Lissa, any chance that when the Eddie or Sequin make an additional comment, it can have a (say, blue) background, so as to stand out?
Oh, and good to hear NC on World at One again, *but* Shaun Ley is also pretty good....
(*) Broadly defined, this is when anyone younger than me, even my brother, would throw someting away, whereas anyone equal or older than me would repair or keep for spare parts.
SB36
sb37
Eeek
Lissa with an A - me screen's gone all funny!
I've hit the monitor with the keyboard and pounded the box with the mouse without improvement.
The PM logo has overlapped the strapline and the blog which, in turn, intrudes into the heading. The postings are now showing in white typeface on pale grey background.
Will it return to normal if I pay my TV licence?
Valery P @ 32
Uncle Rufus does talk to himself - he's the only one who'll listen - but not on this occasion.
He's in the loft looking for the colour photo of Mu in her bikini.
Bless!
Blast. I must be a fogey (John M @ 26)
sb 39, but who knows
Erm Lissa, I don't want to worry you, but the page has gone a little wierd. The background is blue, and each post is white text on a very pale grey box, so you have to drag the cursor over it to see the text.....
Oh dear, oh dear - have i gone blind? I didn't even have any vino at all last night, so it's not alcoholic poisoning. Looks v attractive, but I can't read a thing! Don't even know whether I am repeating what's already been said this morning as I can't read today's posts.
Is this some kind of revenge for our flippancy and veering from the subject etc?
I'm going to have to worry about this all day now as I'm off for my not-an-interview-but-pretty-damn-close shortly! I may have to find an internet caff in the Other Big City Reached by Train.
SB - No idea. (maybe you're going to hand out special glasses?)
Think the formatting problem is an internet explorer issue - I'm firefoxing and wondered what everybody was talking about. Just checked and it's very wrong with IE.
SB42
What am I missing - my screen seems normal.
However Mr W (36) I fear you are mistaken. The firemen were "Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb." Actually some experts believe it to be "Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Guthbert, Dibble and Grubb."
Still I'm off to Chigley cos "Time Flies by When You're The Driver of a Train" Aaah
SB43
Not-good-luck-but-pretty-damn-close for your not-an-interview-but-pretty-damn-close Valery - do let us know how it goes
Meant to say that in my last post, but got lost in Trumptonshire
Good luck, Valery! Sorry I'm late in saying it, but I got stuck in a Six Sigma meeting, and my brain is now slowly dribbling out of my ears...
Wow ain't the IE version hoopy!
What's the matter with this blog page then? All the colours are merging, all the type is jumbled up. I can't read the postings either they're all pale white and very faint. Is there a fire drill at the beeb? Or is it something to do with a leadership plot?
Oh oh,
Pages are back to normal, but posts are vanishing.
Lissa, if someone complains about a post, does it automatically disappear while a human examines the post and the complaint? May that explain a lot of problems? OK, that means there's a malicious complainer on the loose, but at least we'd know what the problem is.
Stephen, leader,
You're right, I did wonder about the comma after `Barney' as I wrote it....but it was the vino I blaim, after a long hot day in the saddle....(I don't recall ever seeing it written down in any case, so a double `b' is hard to guess).
Some posts that disappeared are back; but what does that mean?
SB48
sb48
Isn't it just the multi-server syndrome? Where they continually back each other up(typical criminal behaviour) and if one of them takes a break you don't necessarily get the latest version of whatever.
That's how a tecchie once explained things to me. He also explained how the moon is held up by sky hooks.
Today is Roald Dahl Day.
Hahaha! "...sky hooks..."! (50). And all this time I thought it was blu tac. (Anybody else remember the little pink things that used to be around - each one ready formed for sticking duty? I wonder if you can sill get them.)
Not convinced by the multiple server idea though (even if it's right). It would account for earlier/later version jumping but we've all experienced individual entries going (well, we think we have) which would imply earlier and later versions being mixed. Despite all sorts of pleas for explanations, the Lizzy-monster has been very quiet since her return (but apparently busy behind the scenes).
Are you still feeling confident, Drinks? In the absence of anything disastrous to think about, I usually find that confidence starts to dip pretty quickly after the event (a sort of inverse square relationship on time) - you've just got to remember how you felt at the time!
The screwy text seems to have been the result of invalid html. When haywire, the quote of the day was rendered as
Which should have read
IE couldn't cope, firefox clearly could
SB52
The screwy text seems to have been the result of invalid html. When haywire, the quote of the day was rendered as
Which should have read
IE couldn't cope, firefox clearly could
SB 54, and ignore previous post when preview converted < into <
Well, I said back to normal, I never saw anything wrong...(I'm using Mozilla)...but I see the > is now in the title, so assume everyone else can see it as well. If not, Mozilla has corrected the dodgy html in that line...
Stephen, I got caught a few days ago by Preview converting > to > etc and then when you post it all the hard work has disappeared.
SB54, but so was Stephen's second one - a missing post perchance - so maybe SB55
now this is the weirdest thing; I got in from town about 15 minutes ago and looked at the blog. There was an entry, with one comment for today, I then came here to check the posts, read them and tried to go back to the new blog and - IT HAS DISAPPEARED. Lissa with an a have you gone off in a huff and taken our blog with you . or is it just a technical heebie jeebie thingy?
SB56
Gosh, glad I've been busy today - it all looks OK now.
But surely the tag line should read ..."Mair or less"???
Well said, Drinks. That Muir thing has been bugging me all day. Perhaps it's a reference to "impending doom"?! (Ah, Wikipedia...)
John H (57)
We proabably are all doomed if the Wikipedia Muir reference can be understood to relate to this guy:
Hahaha! What did you do? Search for all the Muirs you could find. I have to say that ultra-cool skateboard types would prolly struggle to maintain their image in ol' Brit-land. Somehow, "Zed-boys" just doesn't quite hit the mark like "Zee-boys".
I instantly thought of Frank. I couldn't think of anything remotely approaching a catch-phrase, but apparently that "impending doom" was one. Well, we live and learn I say.
A post of the same vintage as 57 ain't appeared on today's list. Hey ho.
No, I have to confess, I was already aware of said Jim Muir* but your Wikipedia comment gave me ideas.
Frank Muir is probably the only other Muir I can call to mind, but he's not nearly so exciting.
*because I once had a very weird converstion with a young "trendy" type during which he was, it eventually became clear, talking about Jim Muir, whereas I was referring to Jim Moir (aka Vic Reeves). I won't explain - it wasn't amusing; it just left us both looking at each other with expressions of "?!" and coming to a new understanding of the term 'generation gap'.
When my brother moved to France, his French was not that good (though far better than mine). Anyway, he did a direct translation of " more or less" when appropriate, into French - "plus ou moins" I think it's spelt. Anyway, by the time he left, it was in regular use by his colleagues. How did they cope without this useful addition to their lexicon (no doubt to be banned by Academie Française, like "le weekend").
Anyway, glad he managed to pollutute the French language a little more.
SB61
News Valery?
Hiss, boo, Charlotte! The gorgeous-voiced one today (0700 news) said: "A group of rabbis are...". IS, Ms Green! Not ARE! Singular noun takes singular verb.
(rant, rave. I feel better now)
And surely there's a more appropriate collective noun for rabbis than "group" anyway?
Let's see "herd" is overused... how about 'A collosus of rabbis'? - nice and grand. No? 'A bond of rabbis'? - sort of brotherly and dignified... I may be off on this tangent for some time...
Surely a School of Rabbis (Rabbi meaning as I understand "Teacher")
Can't help feeling that if one must explain one's humour it can't be that funny!
A schambi of rabbis????
er, 65 should read "schmabi", obviously.
I'm not sure whether or not to believe , but it's almost too good to be true.. Their collective noun for rabbis is....
A circumstance or Rabbis!
The line for single entendres starts here!!!
Marvellous. I like "a yank of Americans" too but I can't trust a site that puts apostrophes in inappropriate places...
I recall my flatmates and I making these up over a few beers some years back. My favourite was " a slap of tarts". Gosh what exciting times those were...
John H (51),
I'm terribly sorry, I neglected to answer your question in this post - I think I missed it due to the screwy screen yesterday.
Still feeling OK about it today - and have had a heads up via email (although no official word yet) that I passed - woo hoo!
"A slap of tarts"!!! That's priceless! I'm just glad that I didn't have a mouthful of vino when I ead that:o)
Krumz. Now I'm hugely out of date. LERVE the way this discussion has turned from my grammatical grump to creative collective nounery.
What fun it is to be among people with such wit and GSOH. I'm serious, btw; just in case anyone thought I wasn't... argh, without recourse to
;-)
how to convey laughter, delight, let alone (and perhaps I should) sarcasm and cynicism.
Well, this is delight.
Spose I'd better get back to Thursday
Loved that site FF!
In particular, Stephen, Leader,
After much effort, downloaded the Phil Jupitus programme on Trumptonshire, and it's definately
Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb.
But my previous attempt was phonetically identical, in the English language.
OK, so no-one is likely to read this post so late on......
SB74
I've read it, John W, and I'm glad to see you know your Trumpton. Do you know there is an actual Trumpton website? I kid you not - links to Camberwick Green and Chigley too..