±«Óãtv

FLAPJACK WHACK RAP CLAPTRAP. Obvious enough. A well-known chef struck out at an underling for producing substandard pancakes. He was reprimanded by his employees. The Sun regards the reprimand as "Political Correctness Gone Mad". Simples.
Keith Edkins, Cambridge

I can only assume the story behind the Sun headline is a scathing review of a song about the delicious oat-based treat performed by a hip-hop artist (or "rapper" as I believe the kids would say).
James Cram, St Albans, UK

Quite simple. A triangular piece of flapjack has an aerodynamic shape that enables it to be spun as a ballistic missile whereas a square piece of flapjack does not fly through the air so well. My contention is that irrespective of the shape it is the shore hardness of the material; soft flapjack may cause bruising, well baked crunchy flapjack is far more effective in the ability to maim and potentially kill.
Nic Holc-thompson, Havant Hampshire

I must confess I don't really understand why the flapjacks must now be square or rectangular. Surely that means there are now four pointy corners which may gouge out a child's eye, rather than just three on a triangular piece? Anyone?
HB, Birmingham, UK

If it is truly more effective to change the shape than to change the culture of poor behaviour at the school, wouldn't a circle be less dangerous than a square?
Fee Lock, Hastings, East Sussex

I was a little disturbed to find that homeopathy was getting funding from the NHS. But I've thought of a solution - with every £20 note give them a million blank pieces of paper. Shouldn't be too expensive - if homeopathy works...
Andrew, Malvern, UK

I counted eight clauses in one sentence (2nd para. of main text), which, you know, I think, anyway, is probably, in fact definitely, too many - but perhaps others disagree, yes?
Mike, Newcastle upon Tyne.

Meanwhile, in actual news...
Sue, London

Re: Kit-Kat-Gate recall,since when has 48g been "chunky"?... Isn't it about time Nestle renamed it "Not As Big As It Used To Be Bar"?
Neil, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Two men in white robes are having a meeting at Castel Gandolfo? Oh, news, sometimes you just make it far too easy.
Christian Cook, Street, UK

Phew I thought for a moment my lost credit card had turned up in a snowdrift.
Malcolm, Wrexham, Wales, United Kingdom

Was this somewhere near the hamster?
Colin Edwards, Exeter, UK

If the ±«Óãtv wanted to leave Television Centre and Shepherds Bush so badly, they're certainly making a big fuss of the place, now it's finished. Is it the biggest mistake they've ever made?
Frances Smith, Brentford, Middlesex

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