Paper Monitor
10:25 UK time, Wednesday, 7 November 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The collision of politics, class, reality TV and a feisty blonde are too good for hacks to ignore.
Nadine Dorries - Tory backbench thorn in the side of the "posh boys" running the government - has flown to THE JUNGLE, that amorphous place where Christopher Biggins cuddled up to a rat and Carol Thatcher was caught on camera carrying out a lavatorial procedure.
Dorries's decision to go on "Ich bin ein Star - Holt mich hier raus!" - as they call it in Germany - has not gone down well.
It was a top secret mission. She didn't tell anyone before jetting off.
On arriving in Brisbane she explained that it gave her the chance to talk to 16 million viewers about the issue of abortion.
Apparently there's a £40,000 fee too but that is surely coincidental.
Her local constituency association is not happy. Conservative Central Office has withdrawn the whip. Now the media boot is being put in.
"We'll make Mad Nad gag on gonad", . Erm, translation needed?
Her constituents plan to make her do neverending bushtucker trials involving kangaroo testicles. The Sun is very clever to know the minds of her 76,381 constituents.
In the Mail - "Bus driver's girl who can't help shooting from the lip" - Andrew Pierce gives readers . He reminds readers that Norries was the target of David Cameron's comment about the honourable lady being "extremely frustrated". It certainly didn't help relations between Dorries and No 10, he notes.
Dorries's chief defender appears to be Ann Widdecombe, star of Celebrity Fit Club and Strictly Come Dancing. But even she struggles to approve of the decision to join I'm a Celebrity.
Writing in the Express, intent on relaying a message to the British people came across. "Think of poor, silly George Galloway pretending to be a cat lapping milk from the hands of Rula Lenska."
Last word goes to Radio 4's Eddie Mair whom the Telegraph quotes thus: "What kind of serious point could she make if she's got a mouth full of kangaroo testicles?"
The 
