Paper Monitor
12:19 UK time, Friday, 8 June 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Euro 2012 coverage goes up a notch today ahead of this afternoon's kick-off.
And the British press is revelling in the potential for diplomatic rows, gossip about the England camp and some good old fashioned Get Behind Our Boys jingoism.
The Sun splashes on
Inside are pictures of Rio Ferdinand in his "red flowery shorts" beside the pool in Cyprus. A chance for the paper to rake over the alleged John Terry-Rio fallout and reinforce a sense that England are entering the tournament with an under strength squad. A nice bit of stirring.
The Daily Star says all is not lost. "Who Are We? No fans, No royals, No ministers and Crocked players. But we do have sexiest wag."
The female in question was Melanie Slade, fiancée of Theo Walcott, who the paper reported had been named as the sexiest WAG ever.
Optimism may be lacking about England's performance on the pitch. But the marketing experts still seem to be earning their salaries. Many of the papers give over space to the campaign by one gambling firm,
Paper Monitor finds the former West Brom boss's beautific visage strangely hypnotic. A spokesman for the gambling firm tells the Star: "Since Christ the Redeemer was put in Rio de Janeiro in 1931 Brazil has gone on to become the world's leading footballing nation. We're hoping it can rub off on us."
The piece sits under the nicely restrained headline "Win Roy...Or Be Crucified."
by bringing in a bona fide professor to talk about which team would win Euro 2012 if it was played according to debt, GDP and unemployment stats. In a nutshell, England and France would not even get out of the group, and Holland would beat Denmark in the final.
The Times has sent a to keep track of Our Boys. His account of the England squad's visit to the Gallery of 19th Century Polish Art in Cracow justified the fuel bill alone.
"The players appeared terrified as they lined up beneath the great works of art and posed for photographs with the Polish dignitaries," David Brown, the erudite van driver wrote.
"John Terry appeared to study a portrait of a naked woman on a horse, and Wayne Rooney looked around nervously as he was approached by a gaggle of attractive blondes."
Ah, this one's going to run and run. Well until England's early exit anyway. Then someone's going to have to take that statue down.
The 
