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Paper Monitor

12:08 UK time, Friday, 1 April 2011

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It's 1 April - a potentially discombobulating day to read the papers, but always a rewarding one if you are alert to the prospect of Fools Day hoaxes.

Elsewhere, the Magazine has, as ever, provided a handy guide to those stories which, bizarre as they might appear, are in fact true.

But here Paper Monitor delves into the best prank reports of the day:

  • The Sun informs us that to keep them and happy in zoos. None other than wildlife expert Terry Nutkins is drafted in to inform us that the story demonstrates the high intelligence of primates.
  • According to the Times, RAF Lossiemouth is about to become
  • A for "pensioners who want to opt for tomething a little more speedy than the traditional four-footed frame" is about to be launched, reports the Daily Express.
  • On page three of the Independent is the story that Portugal is preparing to to help pay off its national debt - although david Cameron is drawing up a counter-offer to make him an English player.
  • Daily Mirror reporter Flora Olip reveals exclusively that the government is planning to - with Lake District residents facing the steepest charges and London, Manchester and Birmingham earning rebates.
  • Another scoop comes courtesy of the Daily Telegraph. It has obtained a Labour party memo drawn up by aide Flora Lopi - doesn't that name sound familiar? - who is urging members to hold to celebrate the wedding of Ed Miliband and Justine Thornton.
  • And last, but by no means least, is the leader in the Guardian - long noted for its republican line, but now apparently and hailing the forthcoming royal wedding. The paper announces that it will be "recalling correspondents from some less newsworthy parts of the globe, such as north Africa and south-east Asia", to cover the event. It also announces a devoted to the subject which, for some reason, grinds to a halt just before midday.

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