Paper Monitor
10:35 UK time, Wednesday, 15 September 2010
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Nestled deep, deep within the salmon pink pages of the Financial Times there lies a hidden gem. It is a column entitled (subscription required).
No! Wait! Come back!
The Lucy in question is one Lucy Kellaway, the woman behind Paper Monitor's very favourite Point of View, . (Her hatred of management-speak obviously struck a chord, because so many of you responded we put together this list of .)
Anyway, to the task in hand. Seeking advice is "Lawyer, male, 62" who is about to retire, but has decided instead to work part-time on a consultancy basis.
"I've rejected the idea of having any sort of dinner/presentation/drinks, since I don't want to send out the message that I'm any less of serious or committed to the job. But I have a lingering sense of resentment that nothing is being done to mark my sterling efforts over the years."
Lucy, sharp as a tack, instantly spots this as a cake-and-eat-it-too scenario.
"You say you want your 'sterling efforts' to be marked. The modern way of doing this is through a monthly pay cheque; if in addition one gets the odd 'good job', then that's as much as can be hoped for... At 62 isn't it good to be headed for a siding? Instead you are still being paid (and collecting a pension, too, which is very nice) and in return are quite happy to contribute your experience and wisdom; but displays of ostentatious, super-keenness should not be expected. They should be reserved for the young."
As an aside, she points out that he is well out of a retirement party with its fake jollity and perfunctory or patronising speeches.
"Everyone asks what [the retiree is] going to do, and they have to pretend to have an active future lined up... And then everyone says how much they'll be missed, but they know that they will probably never see any of their colleagues again."
Once he's gone part-time, Lawyer, male, 62 may like to read today's Magazine article, Can you trick your ageing body into feeling younger? Or test his mental agility with these mind games.
And finally, Paper Monitor yesterday invoked its dearly departed colleague Punorama, spurred by a flurry of word play in the headlines.
Our also got in on the act, such as:
- Niall Matthews' I put Lady Gaga through a spam filter and she came out naked.
- Iain F MacMillan's That her taste is offal?
- Pix Mueller's I ham what I ham. Pleased to meat you.
- Alan Foley's I went to the local butcher and said: "Fancy a wager? I'll bet you £200 that you can't reach those beef sirloins on the top shelf!"
He replied: "No, the steaks are too high!"
Uncut diamonds or small, dirty-looking stones? Over to you to decide.
The 
