Paper Monitor
10:50 UK time, Thursday, 11 June 2009
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It is so hard to keep up. What's in and what's out?
The fashion pages asiduously aim to keep us abreast of what's hot and what's not, but it can all be so confusing. (OK, Look of the Week is Peaches Geldof in, er, shoes, jeans and a top. And one is wearing shoes, jeans and... d'oh!)
Fortunately, the Daily Mail is happy to help spell out in no uncertain terms what the fashion of the day is today. Protruding nipples, it would seem. Which can be achieved by wearing a sheer top in a chilly wind, or presumably by popping in a hot wash that pair of comedy breasts you bought for the office Vicars 'n' Nuns.
Victoria Beckham helpfully demonstrates this trend but neither confirms nor denies how she achieves this particular look.
"Some have gone so far as to have surgical augmentation, while others are said to wear 'stick-ons'," says the Mail, pointing out that the technical term is "nipplet", and illustrating with a photo of Point of View (no relation) nipplets. (Other fake nipple brands are available.)
Elsewhere, the Mail has a harsh reality check for your's truly. One likes to think one has a few fans, but these perhaps number rather fewer than one might hope. The Mail reports that on Monday evening, the ±«Óãtv met with "100 of the corporation's most popular performers". Paper Monitor must have over-looked that invite in its Outlook calendar.
Expecting wine and canapes, they were instead told of "swingeing reductions in their huge salaries". (Other pay scales are available.)
But the Mail gets itself in a bit of a pickle - perhaps the dog ate its calculator (see Web Monitor on corrupted-files.com) - and forgets to divide estimated annual salaries by 12 for its factbox on radio presenters' monthly salaries.
Meanwhile, a cautionary tale in the Daily Express - about the man fined £50 for littering... for .
The story is also in the Sun, with a photo of said man and said tenner. "Doesn't look like a tenner..." one mutters, then notices it's the Scottish Sun (regular readers may remember the different exchange rates for English and Scottish notes).
But back to the question of popularity. At the time of publication, Paper Monitor - and colleagues at the ±«Óãtv News Magazine - has 875 fans on Facebook. Let's get this up to 1,000 by the close of play today. , and then on become a fan. Tell your friends. (Other Facebook feeds are available - though they're not a patch on this one.)
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