Paper Monitor
11:37 UK time, Friday, 26 December 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's above and beyone the call of duty, but Paper Monitor - armed with turkey sandwiches - has come in to work. Well, what else do you do on Boxing Day but digest your round-up of the papers, along with all the food you ate yesterday.
Today is a very quick masterclass in how to get your picture in the Boxing Day papers. The sure-fire ways are:
1: Wear a silly hat to church if you're a royal. Step up Zara Phillips, who looks like she's got a big Quality Street on her head - the yummy purple caramel and nut one. That gets you on the front page on the Daily Mail and Express and in most other papers.
2: Wear a santa-style bikini - red with white fake-fur trim - and go swimming in the sea in this country on Christmas Day. You may freeze to death you'll get on page three of the Express.
3: Just wear a bikini if you're young, pretty, a celebrity and on holiday. That got Jennifer Ellison on the front page of the Sun and a full-page spread on page three.
4: Just wear a bikini for the hell of it if you're famous for your body. Step up Jordan, who chose to wear a black bikini top, pink tutu and pink wings to celebrate Christmas with her family. That outfit will got her on page 31 of the Sun.
Anyone would think it was a quiet time for newspapers.
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