Paper Monitor
10:56 UK time, Monday, 6 October 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
What do Tim Westwood, the man who owns Starbucks, Princess Diana and Sir Jimmy Savile have in common?
No, they haven't all at some stage in their lives been vigorous exponents of the fist-bump. They are, according to Daily Mail sketch writer Quentin Letts, among the "fifty people who wrecked Britain".
At first glance, Mr Letts might want to add his maths teacher to the roll call, since despite the headline there appear only to be 20 names in this particular list.
But all becomes clear on realising this is an abridged extract from Mr Letts' new book Fifty People Who Buggered Up Britain. Yup, you read that title correctly, although Paper Monitor can't help feeling that with this in mind, the entry on Stephen Marks (number 11) - the man behind the French Connection fashion chain and all that FCUK stuff - is a little disingenuous.
"One of the most miserable, shaming, dog-dirt-nasty things about Britain today is," he writes under Marks' entry, "the coarseness of language in public".
Fair play to Letts for throwing in some curveballs, cf Princess Di (number 5), although there's more than a whiff here of mischief making.
Mail loyalists may nod sagely at the inclusion of James Callaghan (number 4) and Edward Heath (number 15), but then, at number 17, comes Margaret Thatcher. And at 18 it's housewives' favourite Alan Titchmarsh.
Just when it looks like Letts might have overstepped the mark, he lands a killer blow with this priceless deconstruction of 1960s children's' storybook favourites Topsy and Tim.
"They live in a town and lead lives of blameless, centre-Left orthodoxy. So sometimes it is Topsy who cries, sometimes wimpy Tim. Sometimes Topsy kicks a football, sometimes Tim admires a flower. Oh look, a pansy."
The 
