Paper Monitor
11:24 UK time, Monday, 19 May 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
"Welcome back, Indy. Lord knows we've missed you," says the Times. Yes, as the Independent breaks into bloom after so long in its habitual black (and sometimes red to denote a particularly gloomy poster front page), someone notices.
Like a librarian who suddenly shakes out her bun and removes her horn-rimmed spectacles, today's Indy looks lovely in a blaze with colour. The strapline is a very fetching purply-pink, accessorised with feelgood words like "fashionable florals" and "picnic baskets". OK, there's still a CRUELTY-style headline over the golden fields and blue skies that adorn its front page, but doesn't it look pretty?
Oh. Hold on. Not that Indy. Because even the Indy (yes, that one) devotes page three to a review of the other Indy. Jones, that is, back after 19 years. How do the critics rate the film?
• four enthusiastic stars out of five from the Times and always excitable Daily Express
• two from the Guardian (plus a headline about "Indy mania" and a tidy description of Cate Blanchett as a "very, very attractive and taller version of Rosa Klebb")
• the Dailies Telegraph and Mail don't go in for star ratings, but neither critic sounds that enthusiastic
• a mere two stars from the Indy, with two references to "Indy" to match. The good professor is, for the most part, called Jones by the Indy (confused yet?)
• and while love interest Karen Allen's red dress scores just two crystal skulls from the Daily Mirror, co-star Cate secures five for her storm-grey effort and curvy post-pregnancy figure.
With a mixed bag like that, it's hard to know what to think. Which is, traditionally, where the Magazine comes into the equation. If only there was a cunning way to be able to know just what's the Magazine is thinking around the clock.
What? You mean there is such a way? And it's called ??
Well that is a must for me.
The 
