Paper Monitor
12:05 UK time, Thursday, 20 March 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
After the cerebral ponderings of yesterday's souvenir edition of Paper Monitor, it's back to business with a game of How Do We Know It's Thursday (HDWKIT).
Unlike its Monday iteration, a quick round of HDWKIT is unlikely to yield a response about Holly Willoughby's cleavage. Rather, readers looking for a Thursday yardstick are pointed to the Daily Telegraph which hardly ever falters in marking the weekly publication of the erudite journal with a treatment on one or two of their stories.
Today we have "Clues to life, but not as we know it, on a world 63 light years away" and "How longer days could make us chirpy".
Talking of chirpy, it's Easter and that means eggs and that means chicks and that, according to the Mirror, means bargains. A leap of faith too far? Allow Paper Monitor to fill in the gap: chicks go "cheep" which is only one letter away from "cheap". So, stick a picture of a fluffy chick with a speech bubble that says "CHEEP CHEAP", team it all up with a line that says "Easter's set to be miserable so cheer yourself up with some greatbargains (sic)" and bingo, a full-page rundown of things that have been discounted in the big High Street shops.
Look, there's even a shop selling half-price lingerie, forcing the poor subs to use a gratuitous picture of a woman in a bra to illustrate the piece. How they must have struggled to decide on that.
Finally, it's back to Macca and Mucca. Yesterday's Paper Monitor left no room to commend the Daily Mail's take on the Fiona Shackleton bouffanticide affair. So a belated badge of honour to the Mail for this illustrated observation "Paul's lawyer goes from Camilla to Diana... on the same day".
The 
