±«Óãtv

Re the story about the and the repeated references to both a double and a "real" Lembit. Why the "quotes"? Has he been abducted by aliens?
Colin, Belfast

31st Jan: Paper Monitor calls the Sun headline Beadle's Not About "a pretty crass pun." So how does the magazine headline the sad passing of Indian restaurant proprietor Abdul Latif? . Pretty crass indeed!
Martin S, Newbury, UK

Re Adam's letter on Friday, looking for blatant examples of insincerity, I find that the automated announcements at stations telling you that your train is delayed are equally insincere. The increase in insincerity is inversely proportionate to the level of frustration etc when the message goes from "We are sorry..." at a minor delay to "We are very sorry..." and "We are extremely sorry...", at the point when one's train is cancelled.
Ashley, Kent

Any call centre that uses the phrase "Your call is important to us" when you've been holding for 20 minutes.
Darren McCormac, London

Dear MM,
With reference to last Friday's letter from Adam of London,
I remain, Sir, your most humble and obedient servant.
O.G.Nash, Doha, Qatar

Dear Adam, I'd love to participate in your insincere phrase contest.
Jeff, Phoenix, USA

Adam asks if it is possible to come up with a more blatant example of insincerity. Well, that's easy- companies that claim to be "Investors in People" yet force employees who choose to smoke into a freezing shed on the far side of the site.
Richard Watson, Stoke-on-Trent

I can't help thinking that the people who have invented a cigarette which is shorter than normal [Monitor cannot find the story on the ±«Óãtv News website, but includes this letter by way of balance against the previous missive], but still has the same potency, just haven't quite understood the whole point of why smoking has been banned in the first place.
Rachel, Geneva

Could someone please explain why is tomorrow Shrove Tuesday? Easter Sunday this year is March 23rd. There are 47 days between Feb 5th and March 23rd. Lent should be 40 days, not 47! Jesus did fast for 40 days. Who has made this error?
Helen, Leicester

To Kevin Langley's sister (Your Letters, Thursday)- another weight loss tip is to subtract your birth weight - after all, you've never actually put that on. Luckily I was a hefty baby and so can subtract over 9lbs from my present weight, slipping me into my ideal BMI range.
Libby, Coleford, Somerset

Re the debate of the letter H.. This has been going on in the Metro over the last week. Please don't bore me by sending the EXACT same letter to the ±«Óãtv as well! At least show some originality!
Steph, Brighton

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