Paper Monitor
12:56 UK time, Thursday, 17 January 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Is there a name for those words that look harmless enough on paper but through their wretched combination of abutting consonants, are rendered almost impossible to pronounce. Words such as "statistics", "mechanism" and "aluminium".
And if there is such a term, surely there's a principle in the fabled Headline Writers' Guide to Writing Good Headlines that such words should be avoided?
Paper Monitor can only suppose that such a tome has yet to land on the desk of the Financial Times sub behind this work: "Imperturbable Salmond defends his role in Trump resort".
Im-pert-ur-able… im-pert-rurb-able… im-purt-able… … ... calm.
Kevin Keegan is just about the last person who could warrant the character trait imperturbable. Besides, any red-top sub who so much as considered using such a word in print would likely be taken out and shot.
Meanwhile, here's some nice examples of their handiwork from today's papers regarding Keegan's return to the Magpies' fold.
God on the Tyne – Daily Mirror
Retoon of the Messiah – Sun
Heaven Keegan - Daily Star
The Third coming – Daily Express
Fairytale of Newcastle – Daily Express (again)
Having got through something like seven managers in the past seven years, the omens aren't exactly good for Keegan. Let's hope at least, he lasts until Feb-ru-rary... Feb-u-rary... Feb-roo-ary...
The 
