Your Letters
17:18 UK time, Friday, 11 May 2007
Help! I don't know what to do: or .
Gordon Tonker, Belper, Derbyshire
Thank goodness Blair has finally decided to step down. This should hopefully reduce the use of the not-very-hilarious moniker Bliar. It does not lead to any coffee-out-of-nose moments - unlike this Budget '97 result in a search for Gordon Brown's nickname. Which left me with an interesting mental image. Don't have nightmares...
Fiona, Glasgow
How come Hamish, who was barred for using the wrong form (Thursday letters) gets included in the winning captions? Not fair! Grump.
Carol, Portugal
Monitor note: We reserve the right to change our minds if sufficiently amused.
Okay, Stig is one of you lot isn't he?
Sue, London
With Paris Hilton due to be jailed, perhaps it is time for a new reality version of Prisoner: Cell Block H?
Candace, New Jersey, US
Tom (Thursday letters), I wouldn't worry too much about the absence of country folk in the tick story - in fact it's quite flattering. It means the Beeb knows that locals aren't at risk as we're not normally dumb enough to wear shorts in fields full of long grass - tourists are known to do that.
Phil, Angus, Scotland
No J Paul Murdock, I don't remember the old European Parliament translator's joke, "Very cold sailors" (Thursday letters). Give us a clue. What language was it in?
Jackie, Cambridge
How long did the cameraman have to wait for the in this photo?
Basil Long, Newark Notts
The 
