Pig In The Middle
A ±«Óãtv colleague took one look at me this afternoon and started talking about fat pigs. Now, call me paranoid, but I didn't spend four years of my life studying Freudian psychology not to know when I'm being insulted by someone else's subconscious.
The colleague in question was Andrea Miller, Head of Factual TV here at ±«Óãtv Scotland. We were waiting for a meeting to start when I explained that I was starting the year on a healthy footing and that's why I was sipping from a cup of watery soup. She then told me she had been making programmes about the science of slimming,
"Did you know," she said, "that Socrates once starved a pig and discovered that it actually put weight on faster than other pigs once he had resumed feeding it."
I stared at her.
"So I tell you about my diet and you start telling me about pigs?"
"No, I thought I was telling you about Socrates."
"I'm hearing pigs."
I don't blame her. I blame her inner psyche. I intend to get to sleep early tonight and dream about retaliation.
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