Anyone who's taken exams will remember their results day - the stress and sweaty palms, anxious to receive the news.
As parents and carers, as well as planning results day yourself, you can help your child to prepare for the best and the worst - both emotionally and practically.
Parentsâ Toolkit has spoken to parents and educational psychologist Professor David Putwain, and here they share their own experiences and advice:
Worries about the day
Kate, a mum from Essex, says that sheâs nervous and doesnât have a plan yet, but knows she still has time to look for advice, âMy son is dreading results day. He tried his absolute best, but came out of some exams very disheartened, saying that there were certain things they never got to cover in their online learning.â
David Putwain is a professor of Education and Early Childhood Studies at Liverpool John Moores University. Heâs previously taught in schools and colleges and completed a PhD, which looked at the stress and anxiety students feel when preparing for their GCSE exams.
He says, âMany, although not all students, are deeply concerned about not wanting to let their parents (or other family members) down. They feel like theyâll be judged if they donât obtain expected grades. Itâs really important to help release some of the pressure of the build-up to results, that parents or carers tell their children theyâre loved, valued, and respected, for who they are, not for their academic achievement. This may seem very obvious to you, but not to your children. Reiterate this point after results have been achieved.â
Not getting the desired results
Jo in Sussex, whose son Leo is waiting for his results, says, âIf he doesnât get what he needs, weâll call the college and discuss options with them. I work in higher education and every year I speak to students in clearing who didnât get the grades they wanted. It isnât the end of the road and thereâs always an alternative path. Weâll be celebrating everything heâs achieved during this time.â
Jayne, in Manchester, is starting to plan what to do if her son doesnât receive the results theyâre hoping for, âIf the results mean my son needs to retake the core subjects, weâll consider appealing. If the exam boards drop his grade slightly, thatâs acceptable, but he should be receiving the results predicted by school that we all know he is capable of. Itâs been particularly challenging for my son as he has autism and hasnât been able to complete a full academic year since year 5, due to unmet needs and severe anxiety at school.â
Professor Putwain says, âItâs quite possible that youâll feel disappointed with your childâs results, if they werenât what you hoped theyâd get. Before results day, ask yourself the question of why youâd feel disappointed? Did you have aspirations for your child to be a high achiever, go to a top university, or set themselves up well for life? If this is the case, your child isnât meeting your expectations. It's important to balance this out against the overall importance of your childâs welfare and wellbeing. As much as you possibly can, try to see the world through their eyes on results day.â
âGenerally, well-meaning sentiments like âdonât worry, itâll be fineâ aren't well received and it can be more effective to focus on the practical steps that can be taken to choose alternative colleges orâŠcourses.â
Supporting your child
Laura is nervous as she doesnât know what results her daughter will get.
Laura said, âIâm planning to support her by staying calm and trying to work out her options. I don't plan to reward her financially; I think that sends the wrong message. Iâve bought her a small, personal gift and her dad has said heâll buy her a special meal. These will be given however she does in the exams.â
David Putwain says, âLet your children know that youâre available to help and plan options for what to do if they didnât receive the grades theyâd hoped for. Remember that education, and the pressures on children, are very different to what they were 20 or 30 years ago. Itâs best to avoid a âwhat worked for meâ approach. Let your child lead.
âSchedule something nice for after results (before or after theyâve celebrated with friends) to acknowledge their achievement - whatever it was.â
This article was published in August 2022
More from ±«Óătv Bitesize Parents' ToolkitâŠ
How to manage Results Day 2024: Six tips for parents
Advice on supporting your child as they prepare for their results and evaluate their options.
How to tackle anxiety with Dr Anna
Calming techniques to help parents and children manage their anxiety.
Four steps to chatting with your child about their mental health
Starting a conversation about mental health isn't easy. Especially if your child is reticent to open up. This advice from the charity Young Minds may help.
What can I do after getting my GCSE or Nationals results? Your options at 15/16
Unsure about your next step? We've got some advice.
How to support your teen as they decide on their future career
Career coach Mark Anderson has advice for parents of teens who are choosing their options at GCSE or are nearing the world of work.